Hinata’s tits are... look, they got the size right. That’s the whole thing, isn’t it? You click through this Naruto parody and her chest is just there, taking up half the screen, and the first time you get the prompt to “accidentally” brush against her I actually snorted. The shy stammering is so over the top it loops back to being funny. You’re not seducing anyone, she’s basically throwing herself at you with those big white eyes while the dialogue tries to pretend this is a difficult conquest. The multiple choices are a joke, one path had me literally trip and faceplant into her ass and she just blushed harder instead of, you know, reacting like a person.

The groping scenes unlock fast. Too fast maybe? I dunno, I wasn’t looking for a challenge. The art is rough, like someone sketched it during a boring class and then just colored it in without cleaning up the lines. Hinata’s ass looks different in every other frame, sometimes it’s a perfect peach and other times it’s just a blob with a thong painted on. The brunette hair is the only consistent thing. Soundtrack? What soundtrack, my laptop fan was louder than the game. Oh wait, there’s a weird squelch noise when you grab, I forgot about that. It’s more off-putting than sexy, like stepping on a wet sponge.

The multiple endings thing is a lie, I got three and they all ended with her naked and Naruto nowhere to be found. Which, fair. That’s what I clicked for. But one ending just looped back to the start screen without any real conclusion, I thought my browser crashed. The parody tag is doing heavy lifting, if you don’t know who Hinata is this is just a weird titty grab simulator with a girl who whispers constantly. For what it is, a five minute distraction while you’re waiting for something else to load, it delivers exactly one thing and then stops. No replay value unless you have a specific fixation on badly drawn areolas. Which, hey, no judgment.