Infinity Crisis Island feels like somebody ripped pages from Marvel and DC comics, spilled lube on them, then said “ok, what if all this was a horny HR problem.” You’re basically the guy (or whatever) in charge of keeping a whole island of overpowered freaks, green muscle goddesses and tight-suited thieves from tearing the place apart… unless you want them to. It’s half superhero office sim, half porn parody, and it never pretends to be serious for even one second. One moment you’re checking some fake “threat level” meter, next moment you’re in a meeting room trying to convince a towering She-Hulk style muscle babe that punching villains is fine, but punching holes in the beds again is blowing the budget. She’s standing there in a bikini that looks like it’s begging for mercy, abs and veins popping, giving you that look like she knows exactly how easily she could fold you over the desk, and the text gives you the choice between “discipline her” and “encourage her unique talents.” You already know both options end with you under her, just in different positions.

The writing leans into the parody hard. There’s a sneaky cat burglar in a catsuit that is legally not Catwoman but yeah, it’s Catwoman. She slinks around the island, keeps “losing” her mask in your office, and there’s one scene where she’s tied to an interrogation chair, pretending to be all tough, and you can switch from “good cop” to “pervert cop” in like two clicks. Dialogue swings from comic-book quips to straight up filthy roleplay. She taunts you with “that all you got, manager?” while you scroll through options that sound like they were written by someone who reads way too much hentai on their commute. There are dumb little choices like whether you sign her “reform contract” with a normal pen or with some ridiculous magic energy device that of course fries her suit and leaves her half naked, pressed tight to the screen. The game knows exactly what it’s doing and just keeps winking at you, but not in that smug Marvel movie way, more like a horny doujin artist who also happens to know how spreadsheets work.

What I really noticed is how the whole “manager” thing quietly controls the pacing of the sex scenes. You get these report screens, fake incident logs, and suddenly it throws a “disciplinary session scheduled” popup at you like it’s Google Calendar except the meeting room is a reinforced dungeon and the “team building exercise” is you testing how long a super-strong green giantess can keep you pinned while you try to reason with her. The scenes are long, really dialog heavy, with just enough game logic sprinkled in to make you feel like your choices do something, even if mostly they just change who is on top and how broken their costume gets. Sometimes there’s this tiny little stat change and you catch yourself actually hovering the mouse, thinking “ok do I want her more obedient or more feral for the next scene?” Then you realize you’ve been staring at the same frame of her flexing thighs for like five minutes. There is one notification sound that pops up every time you trigger a new “crisis” and it drove me insane, some cheap little blip that feels like a phone game ad, but I still didn’t mute it. Also the humor is hit and miss: one moment you get a brilliant line about superhero union rules, next moment it tosses in a meme from like 2016 and you just cringe and click past it. But then the next crisis pops, a “containment breach” that is basically code for “someone horny in the showers again,” and you forget you were annoyed, because the game hits you with another ridiculous scenario like mediating a contract dispute where the only negotiation tool you have left is your tongue.