Got caught in the office toilet cubicle yesterday, phone brightness turned way down, trying to get a nipple pasty to sit right on a sprite. Boss was knocking, something about the quarterly reports. Told him it was a bad burrito. Worth it though, because this little pixel dress up toy has a chokehold on my attention span that proper work simply cannot compete with.

The gag selection alone is unhinged. Thirty plus options. Ball gags in every size, ring gags, bit gags, a panel gag that looks like it was stolen from a particularly mean dentist. And the mouth shapes underneath them. You can have a character drooling, or looking utterly furious behind the silicone, or that specific vacant expression that makes you feel things you probably shouldn't admit to HR. My current abomination is a cat eared menace with mismatched pupils, one normal, one a little heart, wearing nothing but a chest harness and a look of pure contempt. The pixel art style makes it dirtier somehow. Like finding a naughty doodle in the margins of a spreadsheet.

Customization gets weirdly specific. Sixty plus clothing items but you'll spend twenty minutes just on the eyes. Pupil shape, iris size, whether she's looking at you or through you. The hair system is seventeen styles with three color slots each, so you can make that classic two tone egirl look in about five seconds flat. Backgrounds are whatever, some dungeon walls and neon grids, but the foreground overlays. Handcuffs hanging from the top of the frame, a leash being held by someone just off screen. It's all suggestion, never explicit, which somehow makes my lunch breaks feel way more degenerate than if they just showed everything.

Wish the face shape wasn't literally one option. Just one. A single face. You can put fifty different gags on it but god forbid she has a square jaw. Still opened it again while typing this.