Alright, so the whole "adventure in space" thing sounds huge, right? Vast. Instead we get the "Afterlife" club on Omega, which is basically one screen you click around on. It's cramped and the bartender keeps repeating herself like a broken speak and spell. I was expecting Commander Shepard levels of impactful dialogue trees and instead the translated text feels like someone fed a phrasebook through a blender. "I are wanting your body" was a real line, I'm not even joking. Kind of adds to the grimy charm though, in a so bad it makes you laugh way.

The sex scenes. They're hard fucking, no romance, just pop ups and awkward angles. The Asari chick Liria has a head that looks like it was pasted onto a tentacle monster body from a different asset pack. But the Quarian girl? The one with the enviro-suit problems. Her scene actually had a weird tension to it, because I messed up a dialogue choice and got a syringe full of mystery fluid instead of her helmet coming off. Had to reload a save, which by the way the gear icon for the menu is so tiny it's a pixel hunt challenge in itself. You can unlock a "lonely hero" ending where everyone rejects you and honestly that's the most realistic outcome given the dialogue options you're forced to use. Pure cringe energy, like watching a trainwreck at an alien cosplay convention.

The ambient synth music loops every 27 seconds in the background. Drove me so nuts I nearly muted the tab but then I would've missed the sound effects. Oh wait there aren't any, just looping synth. The visual... uh, "design," makes me think of early 2000s Flash games where clipping is a feature. There's a moment with Hanna where her pixelated tit literally phases through her own arm. artistic choice? A mystery. I hate the save system and the fact the load screen is just you standing awkwardly in a hallway that smells like a rendering error. Still trying to figure out how I triggered the Amanda ending. Must've blacked out from the asset clipping.