So Iโm playing this thing, right, and my first thought is who the fuck names their company Stunks Trading. Sounds like a front for selling expired cheese out of a van. But whatever, weโre the vice president, weโve tanked the economy single handedly with bad bets, and the only fix is a shotgun wedding to some heiress. Classic. Lucy shows up looking like she stepped out of a Doris Day nightmare, all petticoats and casserole enthusiasm. The animated bits are janky in that specific way where a characterโs mouth moves three seconds after the dialogue, which I live for. Pure camp.
Then the wedding night hits and surprise, bitch. That tradwife is packing more than just a killer meatloaf recipe. The whole game becomes this deliciously messy dance of choices where youโre trying to figure out if youโre horrified, turned on, or just really committed to saving your shitty import export business. The teasing scenes are where itโs at. Thereโs one moment where Lucy, still in the full June Cleaver getup, just gives you this look over a mixing bowl, and the tension is so thick you could frost a cake with it. The writing is horny but also weirdly sweet, like it canโt decide if it wants to be a raunchy comedy or a genuine romance route and honestly, neither can I. The lesbian tag is there but itโs more of a vibe, a side character who keeps giving my female protagonist the eyes, and I kept getting distracted trying to ditch my femboy husband for her which Iโm pretty sure isnโt the main plot.
The contradictions are baked right in. One minute youโre having a heartfelt chat about gender expression over burnt cookies, the next youโre choosing dialogue options that sound like they were written by a closeted 1950s ad man having a panic attack. The gay tag feels misleading though, itโs more about a very specific femme presentation than a male/male dynamic, which bugged me for a hot second before I got distracted by a truly unhinged cooking minigame that I failed spectacularly. Never did figure out if that mattered for the ending. Probably not.