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AI JERK OFF
Private Eyes & Secret Desires v0.17
5.0 0

⏰ Added: 👁 0
This one starts like some half-serious detective visual novel, then quietly pulls your pants down while you’re still nodding along to the “we help innocent prisoners” talk. You got the guy who always wanted to be Sherlock but with a dick, his justice-obsessed girlfriend who actually has a spine, and their tiny agency circling the drain. Money problems, boring clients, rent breathing on their neck. Normal noir setup. Then that Sawyer guy shows up, big celebrity detective with slick PR, fake smile, and this vibe like he’s already undressing both of them in his head while talking about “partnership” and “mutual benefit”. First case you do under his name, it still feels mostly clean: interview a witness, follow some shady clerk, connect clues on the board, whatever. You’re thinking “ok, just mystery with boobs here and there”. Then it tilts. Not fast, it’s slower, like a bad idea you decide to try once and then it keeps happening.

I really liked when the game lets you swap between the guy and the girl during one investigation, not in a tutorial way, just suddenly you’re in her head while she’s getting cornered in an office by some rich asshole you’re supposed to be “interviewing”. She’s trying to stay professional, asking about alibis and timelines, and he keeps leaning closer, asking if her boss knows she’s “this tight” with clients. You can play her as stiff and righteous or let her hesitate a bit too long when he touches her thigh. That tiny pause feels worse than any big “corruption meter” bar. Later you jump back into the male POV, sitting in a car outside, thinking she’s just taking long with the questioning, and you can choose to trust her or start doubting. I hate that the coffee cup in that car scene has this ugly texture that looks like it came from some 2009 stock pack on Google Images. Every time I see it I get annoyed and then forget I was annoyed because next thing I’m watching her kneel down in that same asshole’s office, trying to bargain with her mouth for information. I’m not even sure if I liked that scene or if it just stuck in my brain like gum on shoe.

The sex itself, when it hits, is more about situation than some perfect angles. There’s this blowjob in a cramped archive room where she’s trying to keep quiet, filing cabinets all around, dude’s belt clinking every time he bucks his hips. The camera hangs too long on her eyes, red and watery, like the game is asking “this what you wanted, detective?” and yeah, it kind of is, but also you feel like shit in a hot way. Sometimes the romance stuff between the main two actually feels sweet, like when they crash on the office couch after a long case and she climbs on top, just slow vaginal, kissing, talking about their future agency like it’s still theirs. It should be cute, but if you already pushed her down the dirty route, that same scene plays weird in your head because you know what she did last case to get that signed confession. The game never screams “you are corrupting her” in big neon letters, it just quietly offers choices that look practical: accept a shady deal to get access to a crime scene, agree to “private questioning” with a suspect, let the boss handle something off-screen. One moment I liked way too much: Sawyer calling you into his office, closing the blinds, and just calmly describing what “extras” your girlfriend did for a client, while you sit there pretending you knew already. That mix of mystery, humiliation, and powerplay feels filthy in a way Pornhub never hits. And then you’re back at your desk, filling out case notes as if nothing happened, like this is just another Tuesday at the agency. I forgot what I was even mad about. Something with that cup. Whatever.

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