The whole thing feels like someone animated a soap opera after smoking a joint laced with something questionable. You know those 3D renders where the skin looks a bit too glossy, like everyone’s been sweating olive oil? That’s the vibe here. You play this total fuckup who got booted by his wife for, surprise, sticking his dick where it didn’t belong. Now you’re crashing at some childhood friend’s place you ghosted for half a decade. The setup is so dumb it loops back around to being kinda genius. She opens the door and I’m just thinking, lady, have you seen this guy’s track record? Run.

But she doesn’t run. Nobody runs. The harem tag isn’t subtle, it’s the whole point. Within minutes you’re getting these long, weirdly intense stares and the teasing animations kick in. The way the characters move is stiff, like action figures being posed by an impatient god, but the facial expressions during the oral scenes are surprisingly detailed. There’s a moment with the childhood friend in the kitchen where she’s just talking about old times and her mouth is doing this thing. You know the thing. It’s not even a sex scene yet but the animation loops her licking her lips in a way that’s so over the top it becomes hypnotic. I forgot about my phone for a solid ten minutes, which is saying something because I’m usually scrolling through Twitter during the boring parts.

The creampie finish is the standard reward loop here, no surprises. What got me was the romance angle, which is about as romantic as a brick through a window. You’re a scumbag, the women are inexplicably forgiving, and the dialogue reads like it was translated through three different languages and then back into English by a horny algorithm. “Your presence makes my insides feel like a warm bakery.” I mean, what the fuck does that even mean? I laughed so hard I nearly choked. The male protagonist is a void of charisma, just a walking pair of pants, but that’s almost the point. You’re not here for his redemption arc. You’re here for the glossy, oily, strangely compelling animated mess where a harem of women decide a cheating loser is their best option. It’s a trainwreck, but the kind where the cargo was a shipment of sex dolls and they’re all flying through the air in slow motion. I don’t know if I liked it, but I didn’t close the tab.