You start out as this total nobody who smells more like a stable than a royal bedroom, and somehow you end up wearing a young noble’s clothes that definitely cost more than your whole miserable life. It feels a bit like borrowing someone’s expensive Steam account and hoping they never log in again. One minute you’re just trying not to starve, next minute you’re sitting at a fancy medieval court pretending you know which spoon to use while your dick is trying to salute every pair of tits in the hall. And there are a lot of tits. Big, soft, gravity-challenging tits stuffed into tight dresses that were clearly not designed by someone thinking about “modesty”.

The game basically throws you into this court full of horny problems. You’ve got sharp-tongued noble ladies, a redhead who looks like she could stab you or ride you, maybe both, blondes whose boobs arrive in the room three seconds before the rest of their body, and that one proper-looking girl who blushes hard when you say something dirty but doesn’t actually walk away. You move scene to scene like a visual novel, picking choices, trying to sound like a real noble while secretly thinking about what those huge asses look like out of the gown. Some scenes are all politics and “my lord, the harvest this, the taxes that”, and then you blink and suddenly the count’s niece is on your lap, breast pressed in your face, asking if all commoners are as “strong” as you. That particular achievement should be called “From Beggar To Boobjob in 5 Dialog Options”.

It looks more like a fantasy porn comic than a game sometimes, with these 3D-style images where the curves are turned up to eleven. The girls have those big round asses that stretch the fabric so much you’re sure the seams are one hip sway away from turning into a live sex show. I kept pausing just to stare at the way the light hits the side of a tit popping out of a corset. Someone clearly spent too long sculpting nipples. Not that I’m complaining. Ok, I’m complaining a bit: there’s this one background that repeats in a couple scenes and every time I noticed the same stupid candle on a table and it pulled my brain out of the moment for half a second. Anyway.

Best moments happen when the game makes you choose between being a smooth fake noble or a greedy bastard. One path, you talk nice, keep your disguise safe, slowly build romance with a girl who actually trusts you. Next path, you go full perv, corner the busty blonde in a quiet corridor, and let the “wrong” choice lead to her on her knees with her dress half off and lipstick smeared across your cock. I liked how a small choice in a boring court talk suddenly unlocks a filthy scene much later. Like, there was this time I backed up a certain lady in a land dispute just because her cleavage distracted me, and much later she “rewarded” my loyalty by riding me in a barn, moaning loud enough the horses probably got jealous. On another run I pissed her off and that whole route just died quietly, which hurt more than it should.

The writing swings between playful flirting and straight-up porn dialogue. One minute you’re talking about alliances between houses, next minute she’s gasping “fill me up, my lord” while her huge breasts bounce in detailed CG. It’s kind of funny how serious the story pretends to be when everybody is just a few lines away from getting railed. And yeah, you do get that sweet “I might actually care about her” romance feeling with some of the girls, right before the scene turns into a sweaty tangle of limbs, cum and messy hair. If you’re the kind of player who tries to see every ending, this thing is like a maze of boobs, choices and save files. My advice: abuse multiple saves like a degenerate archivist, chase every suspicious dialog option that sounds like it might lead behind a locked bedroom door, and never trust a redhead offering you wine while sitting a little too close.