Alright so I'm streaming this game The Guardian and chat is going wild because I keep guessing plot twists before they happen. I'm like okay, ex-wife and her kids need protection, you're a made man in the Delucci Family, but the kids don't know you're mobbed up. Classic setup. I'm calling it right now, the ex-wife still wants you. Five minutes later, bam, she's giving you that look. I'm a prophet.

The CG hentai scenes are where this thing shines though. That one milf neighbor who keeps showing up unannounced, I swear to god. The artist knew exactly what they were doing with her proportions. And there's this moment where you have to decide whether to let the older kid catch you doing family business or keep the secret. I picked the wrong option on purpose just to see what happens and the tension was actually insane. The game doesn't punish you for being a degenerate, it rewards it. Which is honestly refreshing.

But can we talk about the dialogue choices for a second? Some of them feel like they were translated through three different languages and then back to English. I'm reading lines out loud on stream and chat is dying because it sounds like a mobster wrote a Hallmark card. "I will guard your heart as I guard your safety" or whatever. Who talks like that? A guy who's about to whack someone in the next scene, apparently. The tonal whiplash is real. Still, the criminal family politics mixed with the whole stepfamily dynamic, it's trashy in the best way. I just wish there was more branching with the gangster side. You're supposed to be this respected feared guy but half the time you're just doing chores around the house. Where's the extortion minigame? Missed opportunity.