What the fuck is this game even called. I bounced off the title harder than Hiishi bounces on your, well, you know. The devs buried the real name somewhere in a support link, but who cares. The pitch is simple. You rub your office crush. That’s it. That’s the whole plot. No pretense, no weird magical girl transformation, just a dude and his hunky coworker on a table.

The whole thing has this deliberately crusty, unpolished look that feels like finding a weird flash animation from a forum thread in 2007. A thread you were probably too young for. Hiishi Mamoru is a hairy, beefy guy and the game is laser focused on the slow, awkward tease of a workplace massage. You click and drag. That’s the control scheme. Sometimes it feels like the cursor is sliding through molasses and I spent a solid minute just trying to get a reaction by poking his shoulder blade like a broken robot. The bad endings are surprisingly easy to hit, you get one wrong twitch and suddenly it’s all over, back to the corporate spreadsheet dimension. The character just shuts you down and it’s genuinely more tense than half the horror games I’ve played.

Getting to the actual cumshot endings requires a specific, unspoken rhythm. There’s a secret dialogue after you finish that had me snorting, a weirdly sweet little punchline to the whole messy affair. It’s entirely a touch based visual treat, no dating sim stats to grind. I wish there was a bit more visual feedback between the tease phase and the climax, it goes from zero to fluids faster than a teenager’s browser history.

The whole thing feels like a sticky note passed in class. Short, crude, and entirely focused on getting one specific reaction out of you. It’s free. It knows exactly how gross and specific it is.