The whole thing runs on a timer. A literal clock in the corner of the screen, ticking down the minutes of a Saturday detention sex ed class. That’s the first thing that got under my skin, not the 3DCG models with their weirdly glossy skin and tits that defy basic physics. It’s the pressure. Three college girls, Mia, Sarah, and Chloe, stuck in a classroom because they blew off orientation. The teacher, a real piece of work named Ms. Hart, isn’t there to lecture. She’s there to… demonstrate. And the game just sits you in that chair and makes you watch the clock.

The renders have this uncooked quality. Like someone hit ‘generate’ and didn’t bother to clean up the weird shadows under the boobs. But honestly, that jank kind of works for the setting. It feels like a cheap educational video from the 90s, the kind a substitute teacher would wheel in on a cart. The audio is mostly just wet sounds and a looping, tinny music track that I swear I’ve heard in a dozen other kinetic novels. You don’t make choices. You just click. Click to see Ms. Hart pull out a comically large purple dildo. Click to see Sarah’s face go red as she’s told to describe a clitoris. The whole thing is a straight line from tardiness to a full-on group scene.

Mia’s storyline is where it gets properly unhinged. There’s a bit with her stepmom, a total MILF stereotype with an ass that looks like two beach balls in a sack, who shows up as a ‘guest lecturer’. The incest tag isn’t a side note, it’s the main event for a solid chunk of the game. The groping starts almost immediately, a hand on a thigh under a desk, and the dialogue is pure porno logic. “This is for your education, sweetie.” Right. The lesbian content between the students feels almost like an afterthought, a quick scene in a bathroom stall that’s over before the timer even hits the halfway mark. I kept waiting for the game to acknowledge how absurd it all was, but it plays the sex ed premise completely straight, which is its own kind of weird comedy. The masturbation scenes are the most detailed, oddly enough, with these extreme close-ups on fingers and toys that the rest of the game’s stiff animations can’t match. It’s a mess. A sticky, unpolished, strangely compelling mess that knows exactly what it is and doesn’t pretend otherwise.