Didn’t think I’d even bother with another “casting couch” parody, but WaifuHub kinda trapped me there for a while. It’s one of those browser things that pretends to be ironic, except it isn’t, or maybe it is, I don’t even know anymore. You play as the guy behind the camera, interviewing all these anime girls you’ve seen a million times before - 2B shows up all confident and stiff, Raphtalia’s nervous like she’s in a real audition, and Lucoa just… well, she’s Lucoa, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The voice acting’s weirdly uneven, and sometimes the moans cut out at random, which somehow made it more real? Like catching some clumsy home-recording vibe. But yeah, the animations hit that point between funny and hot. You’ll laugh when Galko starts her self-introduction too seriously and then forgets she’s supposed to be seducing you, and then it hits you - you’re actually into this.

What got me wasn’t even the sex scenes (well, okay, some of them). It’s that stupid fake dialogue right before things go wild. Meiko saying she’s “totally professional” and then two sentences later losing it on camera - it’s dumb but oddly human. I kept noticing small stuff: the sound of sandals scraping, the way hands twitch when the pace changes. The dev probably didn’t plan half of that; it’s just dirty accident magic. Though I swear the skip button hates me - it freezes every other time I touch it. Doesn’t matter though, since you end up watching everything twice anyway. And Cheelai? She breaks the fourth wall once and it ruined me, I laughed so hard I forgot I was supposed to jerk off.

Somewhere around Mitsuki’s scene I caught myself thinking about how strange it is that we build whole universes of desire around characters that started out as jokes for teenage boys. Then I gave up thinking because Mina’s turn came and - yeah. Animation’s rough around the edges, lines are bad, the logic is nonsense, but damn if it doesn’t feel alive in that broken way cheap porn sometimes does. I still can’t figure out why 2B blushes differently depending on the camera angle. Maybe it’s intentional. Probably not. Doesn’t matter.

Quiet Hogwarts, snow outside, fire crackling, and you’re not sneaking around under an invisibility cloak for once. You’re just… stuck in the library with Hermione over Christmas, pretending to study while both of you are clearly thinking about anything but homework. The game drops you right into an already serious relationship with her, which I liked a lot more than the usual “stranger meets witch, dick out immediately” vibe. She already knows your habits, calls you out on your bullshit, and still blushes when you lean in too close. It feels like you’re reading fanfic that finally stopped being shy and grew some balls. One moment she’s correcting your notes, next moment she’s pressing that stupidly tight sweater against your arm and the conversation just quietly shifts from “Ancient Runes” to “how wet can I get from you whispering in my ear.” No big explosion, just a slow slip from wholesome to filthy. Harry would lose his mind if he saw half of it, which makes it even better.

The art is this AI-touched 2D style that sometimes looks perfect and then in the very next scene Hermione’s hair decides gravity is optional and her hand is doing something weird in the background. Her ass, though, holy shit. Whoever tuned the prompts for that deserves a medal. Every time she leans over a desk or sits on your lap, it’s like the whole screen is just curves and stockings. Her tits are big, soft-looking, but not stupid balloon size, and the game is not shy about putting your face between them. One scene had her trying to keep reading while you kiss down her neck, and the way her expression flickers between “must focus” and “please just fuck me on this chair already” actually felt way more intimate than the later full-on oral scene. That one is pretty detailed too, with her on her knees between your legs, hair a mess, hand around your shaft while she looks up for approval like she secretly loves being a little slut just for you, but the build up is what sells it. Sometimes the text goes a bit too purple, then suddenly swings back to very blunt “she wraps her lips around your cock” and it feels like the writer got horny and forgot about style. Honestly, relatable.

What surprised me was Luna showing up. She kind of drifts into the story like she wandered out of the wrong book, talking in that spaced-out way, and the whole mood shifts. Not exactly a love triangle, more like she gently pokes at your bond with Hermione, asking these weirdly sharp questions while smiling like she knows way more than she says. There’s this scene where she finds you and Hermione in a quiet corridor after you two clearly just finished fucking, Hermione’s hair wrecked, your shirt half open, and Luna just tilts her head and says something like, “Research went well, I see.” No judgment, just curious. Depending on the choices, you can lean into that tension or keep it sweet, and I’m still not sure which way I liked more, because Hermione getting possessive is hot as hell, but Luna’s dreamy curiosity hits a different nerve. The branching is there, not huge, but enough that I actually reloaded a couple times on my phone between Telegram messages, trying different answers. There’s romance, there’s proper vaginal fucking on a library table that really should not be allowed, there’s messy, needy oral under a blanket while snow falls outside the window, and somewhere in the middle of all that smut you realise you actually care about these two idiots and their little holiday bubble. It’s cozy, horny, occasionally janky, and honestly I wouldn’t change that. Let it stay a bit messy. Feels more like you caught them in a real, dirty Christmas week instead of some perfect fantasy postcard.

This thing starts with zero buildup and honestly I respect that. One second you’re just some regular dude killing time, next second there’s this smug little dark elf in your room acting like she owns the place and also your dick. It feels like someone mashed together a comfy slice‑of‑life anime and the kind of horny daydream you get in the shower, then went “yeah, that’s enough plot” and hit export. The whole story just rolls forward without choices, so you’re strapped to the chair watching this one long, escalating tease where she keeps flipping between soft caretaker and bratty succubus energy. She pampers you, sure, but it isn’t just “here’s a blowjob now”. It’s the way she wipes your sweat while calling you a pervert, the way she presses too close when she “fixes” your clothes, the way she sits on your lap like it’s the most normal thing in the world and your brain is screaming that this is absolutely not normal.

The best bit is how casual the comedy is. She slaps your ego around, calls you out when you try to act cool, cracks dumb jokes about your stamina, and you still end up hard as a rock because every insult is paired with a new view of her tits or that tight little ass. One moment she’s feeding you like some fantasy maid, next she leans in, whispers filthy stuff that would get your phone banned from the living room, then pretends she didn’t say anything. It’s got that Ren’Py “click, read, click, horny” rhythm, but smoother than I expected, like the writer actually knows how horny people think when they’re bored and lonely. There’s this massage scene where she gets behind you, breathes in your ear, kneads your shoulders, then slowly works her hands lower and lower, and you feel the shift from “aw this is sweet” to “oh fuck she’s really going for it” in a couple of lines. Then she tosses in some supernatural talk like it’s totally fine that some otherworldly elf is milking you dry in your own bed. The romance part sneaks up on you too. You start laughing at her stupid jokes, then suddenly you care when she acts a bit shy, then she’s riding you and you’re like, yeah okay, maybe I’d sell my soul for this too. The only thing that annoyed me is there’s this one sound effect that repeats when she moves on the sheets and once I heard it, I could not unhear it, it’s like a wet squeak that lives in my brain now and I’m slightly mad about it, but also I went back to replay that scene on my phone in the bathroom like an idiot, so whatever.

New city, new school, and your first big decision is basically “study or jerk off while spying through somebody’s window.” That’s the kind of vibe this game has, and honestly it works way too well. You show up in this kinda normal-looking academy town, but everybody is obsessed with this card game that is clearly not balanced, not healthy, and definitely not safe for a school environment. One minute you’re trying to pass a boring class, next minute you’re locked into a turn based fight where you’re trying to outplay some smug bastard while also getting distracted by the fact that his mom has her tits spilling out of a blouse that should not pass any dress code ever made. The whole “Battles of Mythria” thing is like if Yu-Gi-Oh watched too much porn and decided clothes are optional while dueling. You sit there thinking about card synergies and suddenly the reward screen is a girl with a big ass bending over your desk, animated just enough that your brain goes “ok, yeah, I’m staying.”

The sex stuff is slow-burn and then somehow also not at all. You start with these teasing moments that feel like accidents: your hand “accidentally” landing on a thigh in the library, a MILF teacher leaning in a bit too close so your face is basically buried in her cleavage, brushing past a girl in the corridor and feeling way more than you should. The game loves voyeurism. A lot. You peek through cracked doors, watch a classmate masturbating on her bed while pretending you’re looking for a lost book, see a shower silhouette where the tits are just detailed enough that you pause your Spotify to focus. Sometimes it lets you decide: jerk off quietly right there with your mouse hand doing double duty, or save the tension for later so maybe she “catches” you another day and you end up with a handjob under a desk instead. And when a blowjob scene hits, it doesn’t just show it, it lingers. The lips move, saliva strings, her head rhythm matches the text boxes popping, and you forget there was supposed to be any kind of “plot mystery” in this town at all. The best part is when a card battle goes wrong, you lose, and the punishment is her pinning you down, pressing those huge tits into your face and groping you like you’re the prize. The worst part is the tiny hover tooltips in combat that flicker when you move the cursor too fast and now I’m mad thinking about it again because I kept misclicking like an idiot and skipping turns while half hard. Anyway, the art is this weird mix of clean 2D CG and clearly AI-touched details, so sometimes a nipple looks too perfect for a human hand and sometimes a hand looks like it’s almost grabbing three boobs at once, and somehow that makes it hotter. It’s messy, horny, and just serious enough that you pretend you’re here for the adventure, while your real “strategy” is figuring out which girl to push from teasing and groping into that scene where she drops to her knees in a quiet corner of the school and takes you in her mouth like you’re the rarest card in the deck.