This thing starts like some weird horny déjà vu for anyone who ever wasted half their life in Animal Crossing, except here the game finally admits what your brain was already doing. You’re not organizing cute little villages, you’re on a train with a thick-ass neko waifu who looks like she escaped from a fanart folder on someone’s second hard drive. Clover acts all bubbly and casual at first, like she’s just this friendly catgirl who wants to chat about the town and your new “life” and all that. But the way she leans in, the way her tits keep taking over the whole screen like they’re trying to sign a treaty with your face, you know exactly where this is going. And it doesn’t pretend otherwise for long.

The whole thing is basically one long, horny train ride where your choices decide just how badly you want to ruin that cute persona of hers. You pick simple dialogue options, nothing pretentious, and every tiny decision shifts her vibe from shy waifu energy to “ok, rail me behind this seat and don’t stop.” It’s funny, because the game tries to act wholesome for like two minutes. She mentions normal stuff, maybe talks about moving, little small talk. Then one answer from you and suddenly her tail’s twitching, she’s blushing, her boobs are pushed together so tight you could probably park a Switch between them. I was playing on Chrome with Discord open in the background and I actually tabbed away once because it felt too damn intimate for a browser window. And I liked it. And I also kinda hated that I liked it that much.

When the sex scenes kick in, they don’t mess around. It’s not some artsy fade to black, it’s Clover bent over in that tiny train seat, big ass up, ears twitching while she tries to keep her voice down and absolutely fails. Doggystyle in public transport should honestly be its own genre. She goes from teasing to downright filthy pretty fast, calling you out, begging for it, moaning like she forgot there are other passengers “somewhere” on this imaginary train. The rougher you push it, the more she melts, and there’s this nice twisted contrast where she still has that cute village-game style charm but she’s getting pounded like hentai main course. I really loved how reactive she feels, and at the same time I kinda wished there were more girls, more locations, more scenes. But also, if they add more I’ll complain I liked it better when it was just me and this one clingy catgirl ruining public transport forever. That’s the worst part actually: after you’re done, normal Animal Crossing feels weirdly naked and boring, and now every time I see a cheerful NPC on a train in any game, part of my brain expects them to climb into my lap and pretend it’s still “just talking.”

Star Trainer looks like it was made by someone who really liked that cartoon and then got horny halfway through and never fully recovered. You start out thinking “ok, funny parody, some silly dialogue,” and five minutes later you’re already dragging Star around, poking at menus, trying to figure out what makes her blush, what pisses her off, what secretly turns her on. It’s not subtle. She’s got huge tits squeezed into these outfits that are definitely not from the show, and the whole “training” thing is basically you slowly twisting her from goofy magical girl into your private little perv project. The best part is when you find that one option in the training screen that you didn’t expect to do much and suddenly she reacts way harder than you thought, like “oh, fuck, she liked that?” and then your brain flips from “haha parody” to “ok I’m gonna break this girl completely.” The writing swings between dumb jokes and straight-up filthy lines, which weirdly works. One time I clicked through a couple of dialogue branches too fast while half-watching a YouTube video and suddenly she was kneeling, totally naked, saying something so nasty I had to pause the video on my second monitor because my focus just vanished.

It feels janky in spots, but in a good way, like some horny passion project and not corporate porn. Interface is kind of chaotic, some buttons feel like they were slapped in at the last second, and the pacing of the “training” jumps around: sometimes you grind stats, sometimes you hit a scene that’s way more hardcore than you expected at that point. There was a moment where I tried to push her too far, just spamming the more degrading choices, and she snapped a bit, giving me this pissed-off reaction instead of the usual shy “ok” stuff. I honestly thought I broke the game and was low-key annoyed, went to Discord on my phone to complain while the scene was still on, then came back and realized it had actually opened a different path with more intense scenes later. I kinda hated it. Then I kept doing it. There’s also this milf angle hiding in there that I didn’t notice at first because I was too busy harassing Star, and when it opened up I just went “oh, shit” and switched routes without thinking. The game clearly wants you to be a total asshole sometimes, and if you lean into that, the sex scenes get way dirtier, more humiliating, more “trainer” in the bad sense. It’s not romantic, it’s not soft, it’s like you’re dragging these big-boobed cartoon girls down into your own porn brain. But yeah, I still booted it again after closing the tab and pretending I was done with it.

You boot this thing up in Chrome like a degenerate scholar and it just throws you right into the mess: Sunny’s fucked, Whole Cake is a disaster, and Nami is literally floating around like premium hentai bait in the middle of the sea. No long-ass intro, no 10 walls of lore, just “hey, you’re a random dude with a ship and a dick, there’s a half-naked orange-haired navigator somewhere out there, go fix it or ruin it, whatever.” You play as this new captain who’s clearly not Luffy but also kind of acts like Luffy if Luffy liked tits more than meat. Every time the game gives you a choice you can be a decent guy like “yeah, let’s help her” or turn into peak porn logic and go “actually I will just stare at her wet nipples for another minute, thanks.” The whole vibe is like someone smashed horny fanfic into a lowkey pirate management game and then forgot to optimize anything, and honestly that chaos fits it too well.

The voyeur stuff is where it accidentally hits god-tier horny. There’s this early scene where you find Nami passed out on a scrap of wood, clothes all torn from the storm, ass perfectly framed like the ocean is simping for her. Instead of just doing normal rescue like a sane human, the game straight up lets you do this slow camera creep around her body while your guy monologues in his head about how “I should probably check if she is hurt” while very clearly inspecting only her tits and thighs. It’s fucked, it’s funny, it’s hot, and it’s also kind of trash, which is exactly why I kept going. Later on, when she’s actually on your ship, there’s this part where she’s trying to dry her clothes and the dev clearly just went “okay, physics go brrrrr” because her boobs are jiggling from the wind like the weather itself is down bad. Meanwhile you’re fake-managing a crew, pretending to be this big brave future Pirate King, but every night you’re sneaking to the deck to spy on Nami bending over barrels or washing herself with a bucket, thinking you’re subtle while the camera is loud as fuck about it. At one point she’s looking out at the horizon, skirt just barely riding up, and you get a choice between talking about navigation or just silently ogling her ass like some Pornhub side character. I picked the horny option of course, and she kinda notices but pretends not to, which somehow made it hotter and also more cursed. The game is janky, the pacing is all over the place, sometimes dialogue sounds like it was translated by Google on a hangover, but when the scene hits, it really hits: big ass framed in moonlight, wet shirt glued to big boobs, and you, the clown captain, trying to decide if you’re a hero, a perv, or both at the same time.

Your need for a job is so intense that the thought of heading out to some remote, isolated spot barely slows you down. When you get there, you discover a vast clearing and a strange door standing alone, almost out of place. Who would have thought that this seemingly random door is actually a mystical portal leading to a secret interdimensional pleasure resort. This place is a playground for all sorts of beings looking for extraordinary and forbidden enjoyments. Suddenly, you’re the bellboy of this incredible place, with countless chances to explore and satisfy desires. The second you cross that threshold, you're plunged into a world filled with strange beings and insatiable cravings, ready for you to serve and enjoy. Behind every door lies a fresh thrill, whether it's secret trysts in dim corners or heated moments bathed in colorful glows. You won’t just deliver luggage; you’ll dive headfirst into the fantasies swirling around you, playing a role far beyond your job description. Each guest you meet reveals a new layer of desire and temptation, pulling you deeper into this intoxicating world. Will you embrace the chance to be part of this surreal, erotic playground?. This is your invitation to enter a world unlike any other, where every moment promises excitement and ecstasy.