This thing is basically Sarada’s brain going completely horny-mode over Hinata, and the whole “story” is just an excuse to throw them together and see how far it can go. It starts kind of harmless, just Hinata being her usual soft, awkward self and Sarada staring way too long at her tits like she’s pretending to talk about training but her eyes are glued to the cleavage. The game doesn’t even try to hide it. One second you’re just watching them chat about Naruto being busy, next second, Sarada’s already popped that freaky futa bulge that looks like it should have its own chakra nature. It’s honestly funny how big they made it. It’s not just big, it’s stupid big, like “who the hell drew this and said yeah that’s fine” big. And yet it kinda works, because Hinata acts so shy at first, then starts riding it like she’s been waiting her whole life for Naruto to leave the house and never come back.

What I actually liked, weirdly, is how they let you pace the action a bit. You’re not just sitting there watching a single looping scene, you click through the stages and it’s like Sarada is leveling up her corruption every step. Slow grinding, then faster, then full on “hokage’s wife getting pounded by her son’s teammate” like this is the most normal village activity. Some animations are janky as hell though. There’s a part where Hinata’s boobs jiggle like they’re trying to escape her chest and fly out of the screen, and the lip sync is basically non-existent, but then you get a close-up angle and everything suddenly feels way more polished, like they spent 3 days on that one shot and 3 minutes on the previous one. Controls are simple, just clicking your way through positions, changing speed, letting Sarada go from awkward teen to full on sex monster. At one moment you’re cheering for Sarada, “yeah, get it, queen,” and next second you’re like, “girl, calm down, you’re going to destroy her spine with that thing.” The lesbian energy between them is actually hotter than the cock half, which is wild in a futa game, but the devs clearly knew what they were doing with all the eye contact and Hinata blushing while still begging for more. There’s that classic flash-game jank, the kind of thing that makes you go “ugh whatever” and still keep clicking, because by the time Hinata’s moaning Naruto’s name while Sarada is the one rearranging her insides, you already forgot you were going to stop after “just one more scene.”

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.

The whole thing feels like somebody mashed together a horny Final Fantasy fanfic, a cheap mobile survival clone and a beach episode that never ends, then said “yeah, good enough” and shipped it. Which, weirdly, kind of works. You wake up on this tropical island, sand in your shoes, dick in your hand metaphorically, literal later, and the first cutscene just slaps you with that “you’re a loser, now enjoy paradise” tone. The animation in those early scenes is rough in a way I actually like. Faces hold just a little too long, camera lingers on thighs like the animator forgot to hit stop, some lip sync looks like it was done in a hurry during a Discord call. But when Hana leans in close the first time, hair moving in the breeze, you can feel someone really tried. It is not clean. It feels like watching a lewd indie short posted on Twitter that somehow grew into a full game. And then you blink and suddenly there is Tifa in a bikini that never existed in any official artwork, and the game just shrugs, like “yeah, she washed up here, whatever, go talk to her.”

Cutscenes are the best and worst part. One moment you get this slow, almost romantic shot of the island at sunset, the ocean reflecting orange, Hana’s silhouette, and you think “oh, nice mood.” Next moment, hard cut to the male protagonist getting jerked off against a palm tree like a teenager who just learned the word “frottage” yesterday. The camera really loves asses. It crawls over Tifa’s bikini line while she pretends she does not know what masturbation is, then five clicks later she is riding your face in a little looping animation where her hair clips through her shoulders in exactly the same place every cycle. Marie Rose shows up in her swimsuit and that whole “mystery of the island” thing just walks out of the room. The plot starts hinting that the island is wrong, that girls are not just lost tourists, but the next scene is you spanking Marie on the beach while a crab walks through the background like an unpaid extra. The point and click bits are fine, you tap on a coconut, you tap on a girl, you tap on yourself under the water in a badly hidden masturbation loop. Sex toys appear later and the game treats them like legendary weapons, full camera pan, shiny highlight, then you just shove a vibrator between Tifa’s legs in a short looping shot that probably took the animator all night and two energy drinks. There is a mystery somewhere under all the crossover fanservice, but every time you start to care the game distracts you with another animated bikini grinding on the protagonist’s cock and, honestly, that is exactly the kind of trashy commitment I did not know I wanted.