Goblin Down feels like someone took a messy affair from a cheap motel, stitched it into a fantasy story, then forgot to iron the seams. Which I mean as a compliment. As a lingerie designer I kept thinking of it like a jealous little boudoir drama: tiny space, three bodies, way too much skin and not enough honesty. You start as this rookie adventurer who once got saved by a goblin girl, then years later she’s your wife, Qilka, and she’s basically the only one in the house with any common sense. Her design hits weirdly close to how I sketch green-skinned models: short, soft belly, those slightly too-big eyes that look innocent even when she’s getting railed, and that cheap village dress that screams “I can be pulled aside in one motion.” It’s not elegant, but it works. Like lace that scratches but looks hot in photos.

What hooked me most wasn’t even the orc at first, it was how fast the mood in the house rots once he shows up. One scene you bring this huge hurt bastard home like some stray dog, next scene you’re watching her fuss over him, wiping his chest, his thighs, pretending she’s just doing first aid while her cheeks are already a little flushed. There is this early voyeur moment where you peek through the cracked door and the animation has her hand hovering just a bit too long over his crotch, like she’s “accidentally” brushing it. That’s when the game stopped feeling like a heroic fantasy and more like catching your partner sexting with someone bigger. The actual sex escalates in a way that made my stomach twist: first it’s innocent tending, then a clumsy handjob where she looks like she’s not even sure how she got there, then full-on sloppy oral with her ears twitching and eyes rolled up, that classic ahegao face that would look stupid if the guilt wasn’t so heavy. Sometimes her expression is a bit too cartoony for the mood, by the way. I wanted one scene where she just looks wrecked inside, not only drooling and cross-eyed. But they never go there, they stay in that porn comic style, which annoyed me and I still kept going.

What I like, or hate, is how the corruption isn’t only about her. You as the husband are kind of pathetic and it’s hot in a really bad way. The game gives you these choices where you can pretend nothing’s wrong, go back to your guild work, or poke around like a paranoid idiot. I picked the coward route first, just left them alone, and later there’s this animated loop of the orc lifting her by the hips and pounding her from behind in your own bedroom, her ring still on her finger, and I actually paused and stared like it was some lingerie catalog shot I needed to analyze. Her little tits bounce against his stomach, the camera lingers on the creampie dripping out of her while she whispers how “it’s fine, he’ll never know.” It’s filthy and sort of beautiful in a trashy way, like mismatched bra and panties that somehow look better than a full set. There’s one scene where she rides him in your bed, looking back at the doorway, almost like she wants you to walk in and watch. That voyeur energy is crazy, even if a few transitions feel rushed, like they skipped a beat between nervous groping and full surrender. Still, the whole thing left me thinking about designing a set inspired by her: something green and torn at the hem, a little too small, like it belongs to a wife who says she’s loyal while her thighs are still sticky from someone else. And then I remembered this is just a short visual novel and I’m overthinking it while she’s taking orc dick again in the next CG.

This thing starts like a drunk DnD session that got horny and never sobered up. You’re dropped into this little adventuring family circus: a Paladin you actually pick the sex for right away (male, female, futa, go wild), a Barbarian wife who has big “break the door and then ride you on the splinters” energy, and a Druid daughter who’s way too observant about everyone’s sex life. The game just pretends this situation is normal. No slow build. One moment you’re choosing attack options, next moment you’re basically debating if you should watch your own wife get pounded by someone else while you kind of like it and kind of hate yourself. I liked that. I hated that. I liked that I hated it. You get the idea.

The tone is weird in a good way. One scene has you arguing about tactics in a dungeon, and five lines later you’ve got a smug elf femboy shaking his ass in front of your wife like he’s farm-testing her loyalty. It’s not some clean “press button, get sex” thing either; you’re steering conversations that feel like they’re about honor, trust, party dynamics, then they slowly twist into “ok, who is going to fuck who and who is forced to watch.” The netorare bits hit hardest when you didn’t think you were choosing that, but then the Barbarian is moaning another name and you’re like “oh, right, that option.” I played on my phone in Chrome at first and had this moment where I alt-tabbed to Telegram mid-scene, came back, and the Druid was calmly describing exactly how wet one of the monster girls was while I’d forgotten where the hell the dialogue thread even started. By the way, the auto-forward sometimes feels too jumpy and I keep wanting to tweak it one tiny notch slower and always forget, which annoys me more than it should.

Then there’s the Undine futa, who basically steals the entire show. The story keeps pretending she has a “secret” like you can’t see this coming a mile away, but when everything finally comes out, the game really plays with it. You get routes where she focuses on the women in the group, and it isn’t just “haha, she has a dick, funny,” it’s more like “how deep can we go into turning the Paladin into a jealous mess while every female body in the party gets thoroughly re-plumbed.” I kinda wish there was a path where she went harder on the Paladin too, then again I don’t, because the whole fantasy hangs on that frustration and cheating vibe. Some of the funniest bits are actually right before the sex, like when characters try to talk all noble about temptations and duty while a succubus fire mage is casually describing in detail how she’s going to suck the soul out through someone’s cock. The humor hits at odd times, like after a really rough scene, someone drops a throwaway line that made me actually snort, then it jumps back into a blowjob choice menu without warning. If you want to wring every filthy drop out of it, don’t rush: manually save before big emotional choices, say yes when your gut screams no, and let the mess happen instead of trying to protect everyone. The most fucked up stuff hides behind the “this is a bad idea” options.

Elf MC, horny ancient ruins, and a world that looks suspiciously like someone mashed Google Maps with hentai brainrot. That’s kinda the vibe here. You’re this pretty boy elf guy wandering around a fantasy land that clearly wants you to get distracted by tits more than by history. One second you’re poking around some old kingdom mystery, clicking weird stone symbols, trying to solve what looks like a bootleg mobile puzzle from the Play Store, and the next second some monster girl is in your face asking for “help” that very clearly means “put it in me.” And yeah, the game doesn’t pretend to be shy about it. You talk, you point & click, you figure out what shiny thing goes into what hole, then usually something else goes into someone else’s hole. Clean loop.

The animations are actually decent for a first chapter, you get that 3D feel when the elf is buried between thighs or when he’s getting his cock stroked with slow handjob motions that don’t look like someone shaking a broom handle. Oral scenes go from gentle teasing to full deep throat pretty fast, which is nice, though the sound is sometimes weirdly quiet and then suddenly wet as fuck. Vaginal stuff has a nice rhythm when he’s pounding, especially when you finally push to creampie and you see everything pulse inside. They really like finishing inside. Like, really. Pulling out is apparently against elf culture or something. The romance angle is hit or miss; sometimes the dialogue tries to be sweet and it works, other times it feels like a pornhub comment thread translated through Google. But that kinda adds to the charm for me. It’s messy. The girls are a mix of “I will help you on your noble journey” and “take your pants off, traveler,” and the monster girl design is good enough I actually forgot about the treasure room behind her at one point. I still don’t forgive the game for making me replay the same little puzzle 3 times just because I misclicked once. That shit annoyed me and then I immediately forgot because there was an elf getting his cock sucked by a girl with fangs.

The point & click exploration has a nice “I’m lost but also kinda turned on” mood. Sometimes you’ll click something expecting lore and you get a blowjob offer instead. Other times you’re sure it’s sex time and it’s like “solve this pattern first, idiot.” The game loves teasing progress, edging you with small scenes before the bigger payoffs. There’s a part where you help a girl in danger, think it’s gonna be a quick thank you and goodbye, and then it just turns into this slow, almost romantic fuck with kissing, soft moans, and then a rough finish where she begs for you to cum inside her. I liked that. I also hated that the inventory icon is tiny as hell and my dumb eyes kept missing it. Never fixed that, just kept squinting like an old man. Whatever. If you wanna enjoy it, don’t rush. Click around, poke every corner, talk to characters twice, sometimes a normal line suddenly turns into flirting, and flirting turns into a hand under the belt. Let the elf be a little slutty scholar. Solve a puzzle, earn a blowjob. Fail a puzzle, reload and go again. That’s pretty much the religion of this game.

This thing hits you in a weird way right from the start. You’re supposed to be some fresh recruit in this mercenary company, all “professional” and serious, but the moment those two kitsune bosses show up, the whole office vibe just melts into pure horny chaos. They look like they’re about to brief you on combat strategy, then suddenly the “briefing” is you on your knees under the desk, trying to answer questions while one of them wraps her tails around your neck and pushes your face where she actually wants it. It’s that kind of game where the meetings almost feel more dangerous than the missions, just in a very specific, wet-mouth, “don’t bite her by accident” way. Half of your actual job turns into managing power bullshit: this boss wants your tongue, that coworker wants your cock, someone else just wants to sit on your face while they call it “team building”, and you’re stuck in the middle trying to pretend this is normal HR procedure. It somehow feels believable and totally stupid at same time, like horny fanfic written by a war nerd who got distracted by fox tails and never came back.

The best parts hit when the game leans into the office gossip and you just listen. You’re walking past a door, and inside you hear two of the girls going at it, all soft moans and this messy, sloppy sound of someone working way too hard with their tongue. You can tell who’s in charge just by tone, no need for dialogue tags. One of them is basically purring “good girl” every other sentence, and you’re outside pretending to look at a clipboard, but your hand is already in your pants because of course it is. Later you’re dragged inside a storage room by one of the “coworkers” who swears she just needs help organizing supplies, then slams you against the wall, pulls out a toy, and tells you you’ll earn your ration only if you can keep your hands behind your back while she fucks herself on your cock and grinds the toy against your chest. It’s unbalanced in this nice way where you’re technically the male lead, but you keep getting treated more like a favorite toy than some big macho hero. One of the monster girls even uses you like an extra attachment, like she’s stacking sex toys, first her, then the dildo, then your tongue, in that order, and you’re just there thinking “I’m supposed to file reports after this?”

The art is this 2dcg style that looks almost too clean for how filthy the scenes get, but in some frames the proportions feel a bit off, like someone stretched a thigh or a tail just a bit too long at the wrong angle. I was looking at a blowjob scene with one of the kitsune sisters, and instead of focusing on the spit and her lips around the tip, my brain got stuck on how her ear looked like it teleported half a pixel to the left. It’s small but once you see it, it sits in your head and eats a tiny bit of your horny. Then five seconds later she pushes your head down and starts using your mouth like a stress ball and you forget everything again. There’s girl-on-girl scenes where your presence is almost optional, you’re just watching them eat each other out on the office couch while one of them makes eye contact with you and lazily orders you to stroke yourself slower, slower, stop, start again, like she’s flipping switches on a weapon system. Group scenes get noisy in a good way, everyone talking over each other, one woman telling you to go faster while another is holding your hips and deliberately keeping you shallow, and somewhere a toy is buzzing against someone’s clit, and you honestly lose track of where your own body ends and theirs begins. I launched it on my old laptop in Chrome with two other tabs open and the thing was lagging slightly on text advance, which somehow made a certain edging scene even more cruel, because the dialogue box took half a second to appear while your character is already begging to cum. Completely accidental, but it felt like the game was edging me personally, and I kind of hated that, which means it worked too well. I wanted to talk about something else but I keep thinking about that one scene where your “boss” sits on your face during a so-called briefing and makes you listen to her talk about company logistics while you lick her slowly, like she’s training you to link bureaucracy and pussy forever in your brain. It’s fucked up. I liked it. I probably shouldn’t.