College town sex drama with messy people, that is what this thing is, no fancy wrapping. You drop into campus life as this pretty normal guy, not a hero, not a loser, just someone who ends up in way too many bedrooms and way too many bad choices. Classes and exams exist mostly so the game can shove you into hallways, libraries and dorm corridors where clothes do not stay on very long. Girls in tight tops pretending they care about studying, guys pretending they care about friendship while staring at asses. The rival shows up early, that smug bastard with perfect hair who smiles like he already fucked half the dorm. He keeps nudging the story into cheating territory. Not in a soft “oops I tripped and landed on a dick” way, more like “I know your girl is weak when she drinks and I am going to prove it.” The game makes you watch it, too. A lot of scenes start with you as the voyeur, behind a cracked door or across the courtyard, listening to moans that might be for you. Or maybe not.

The cutscenes are where it gets fun and also kind of trashy, in a good porn way. You can feel the AI CG doing heavy lifting. Faces look a bit too smooth sometimes, like those Instagram filters, but the expressions when a shy girl finally opens her legs for another woman are surprisingly hot. There is a sequence in a shared dorm shower that really stands out: steam all over, towels barely hanging, two girls teasing each other with soap while the male MC is “accidentally” walking in. One of them notices him, does not say a thing, just keeps rubbing the other’s nipples, slow, while maintaining eye contact with you through the half-open curtain. That moment when the other girl realizes someone is watching and her thighs clamp together, but she still leans into the touch, that is the kind of corruption the game likes. It is not instant brainwashing, more like small decisions stacked until someone’s “good girl” act is completely ruined. And sometimes the camera cuts away right when you want that final close up, which annoys the hell out of me and then they never fix it in the next scene.

Sex variety is all over the place. You get classic dorm-room grinding with underwear tossed on the desk, lazy afternoon blowjob while some sad university music track plays from a laptop, and then it swings into full-on interracial scenes where the rival drags a drunk girl from a party to a quiet corner. The skin tones in those scenes actually look decent, especially compared to a lot of cheap porn games where darker characters look like plastic. Here, when your girl sneaks off to fuck someone else, you really see the difference between your body and his, and they lean into that. One late-night bar scene has your date slow dancing with you, then swapping partners with another couple, then hands wandering, then she ends up pressed against the wall with someone else’s fingers inside her while you stand there pretending it is all part of the “open-minded college vibe.” I liked the way the game lets you grope in crowded places too, like sliding your hand under a skirt in the back row of the lecture hall while the professor talks about something nobody cares about. Knocked my coffee over once during a long grinding scene, keyboard sticky for a week, still no dedicated “clean desk” option in settings and yes, I am bitter. Music is hit and miss, sometimes it nails this late-night chill mood that fits a slow lesbian make-out in a dorm bed, sometimes it loops a weird little upbeat track during a very serious cheating scene and kills the mood. But then you get a simple stripping sequence in a cramped dorm room, just your girl awkwardly dancing out of her sweater and bra while trying not to laugh, and suddenly it feels more real than half the “professional” erotic stuff on Steam. You kinda wish the game would slow down more often like that, right before it throws you back into spying on your not-so-faithful love interest as she rides someone else on a squeaky mattress with the door slightly open, like the whole corridor is invited to listen.

According to Sofia feels like reading someone’s horny diary while drunk, where every second page is a new excuse for why “this doesn’t count as cheating”. You’re basically hanging inside Sofia’s head while she lives with Bob, swears she loves him, and then spends the whole game bending the idea of loyalty like it’s a yoga class for her morals. She’s this bubbly blonde who acts dumb on purpose, but she’s not dumb, she’s just really good at pretending rules are optional if the dick is big enough or the dare sounds fun. One moment she’s cuddling Bob on the couch, promising she’d never hurt him, and the next she’s at some party letting a stranger draw on her boobs with a marker because “it’s just body art, like a tattoo, not sex”. The game leans into that constant mental gymnastics. You get those scenes where someone dares her to play strip poker, and she folds instantly, loses on purpose, laughs, and ends up naked on the table with guys staring at her, and she goes “Don’t worry, Bob, it’s only a game, not cheating if nobody cums… on the inside”. Yeah, the logic is that cursed.

What I liked is how the situations escalate without a big dramatic drum roll. It crawls up on you. First it’s just some flirty truth or dare, “show your panties” kind of thing. Then suddenly she’s on her knees in the bathroom during a house party, giving a messy blowjob to some dude she just met because technically “mouth stuff isn’t real sex” in her weird internal rulebook. And the game really milks the facial expressions. She has that innocent wide-eyed look while she’s swallowing, like she’s trying to convince herself and the player at the same time that this is fine, totally fine, nothing wrong here. There’s this one scene with a “backdoor only” arrangement that pretty much sums up the whole vibe. She’s drunk, straddling this guy’s lap, already half fucked, then stops and giggles, “But it can’t go in the front, that would be cheating, only the back is allowed.” And yeah, the game commits. You see everything, how her body reacts, how she tries to say no and then changes her mind mid-moan because “rules are flexible, right?” It’s filthy, sometimes stupid, sometimes actually funny in a fucked up way. She’ll finish with another guy, wipe her mouth, then go home to Bob acting like the sweetest girlfriend ever, baking something or snuggling him like she didn’t just get railed in a stairwell. I wish the game sometimes slowed down to show more of Bob’s side, his suspicions, but it kind of works that he’s this soft blur in the background while Sofia’s wild logic runs the show. It’s her world, he’s just the excuse she uses to call the whole mess “technically faithful.”

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

Frank really picked the worst possible way to escape prison and the best possible place to wash up. Storm, wreck, boom, suddenly the dude is crawling out of the water into a familiar yellow square house that should not be this horny. He looks around, nobody home, nobody asking questions, so he just goes, “Yeah, sure, I’m SpongeBob now,” throws on the clothes and starts living this fake life under the sea. It sounds stupid as hell. It is stupid as hell. That’s kind of why it works. The game just leans into the parody thing completely, like a Newgrounds cartoon that got drunk, grew up and decided to stop pretending it’s for kids. One minute you’re wandering Bikini Bottom talking to cartoon weirdos, next minute you’re balls deep in someone with tits that would absolutely not pass broadcast standards. It’s all exaggerated, big tits, big asses, stretchy mouths, thick thighs, the whole hentai checklist but in this goofy aquatic world that used to run on Nickelodeon.

The tone is all over the place in a fun way. You’re this criminal hiding in plain sight, trying to remember you’re “SpongeBob” while also basically turning the town into your own personal sex playground. You can wander around, poke into houses you probably shouldn’t, get into some stupid mini-games, buy junk from shops, then somehow that leads to a blowjob behind a counter or a rough handjob in a back alley lit like a bad crime movie. The animated scenes are unapologetically dirty: sloppy oral with lots of spit, big cartoon cocks sliding between fat wet lips, pussy getting pounded while her huge chest bounces in that silly loop that looks wrong and right at same time. Sometimes it goes from silly to surprisingly graphic fast, like you’re laughing at a joke and suddenly there’s this intense vaginal close-up with her moaning like a full hentai OVA. The violence sneaks in too, not super serious but sharp enough you remember that Frank isn’t some innocent hero. He’s a fugitive who lies, pushes people around, fucks them, sometimes intimidates them. Definitely more male dom than soft romance here, even when the girls act all cutesy.

What surprised me most is how oddly cozy the sandbox feels even when everything on screen is nasty. You move across different Bikini Bottom spots, trigger crazy side events, stumble into lewd scenes you didn’t plan, then ten minutes later you’re grinding money again because you wasted it on some dumb store item that only unlocks one short sex loop. Some dialogues hit like shitposts from Reddit, other lines sound like the dev wrote them half asleep, but that gives it this raw energy. It’s not “polished narrative experience”, it’s “guy in a funny outfit lying to the whole town while shoving his dick where it doesn’t belong”. Sometimes the pacing goes weird and you’re stuck wandering around checking every door because the game refuses to tell you where the next scene is, and then out of nowhere you trigger a scene with a stacked character who rides you like she’s trying to break your spine. If there was a DLC where Bikini Bottom just leaned even harder into the corruption, with even more twisted hentai-style events and Frank losing the last bits of morality he has, I’d play that in a heartbeat. Even if I’d complain about some tiny bug in the shop UI and then completely forget I ever mentioned it once the next girl drops to her knees.