Kinda funny how this game feels more like scrolling horny Reddit at midnight than some epic ninja adventure. You start as this random chuunin dude with a weird eye power and right away the vibe is: yeah, you’re here to fuck around with the Naruto girls, stop pretending otherwise. The “open world” thing is more like you wandering around Konoha tapping places on your screen, spying on people, bumping into events by accident. I was on my phone on the bus, headphones in, thinking it’s just some light fanservice, then suddenly Hinata is on her knees, drool on her lips, and I’m sitting there trying not to tilt my screen away like a guilty teenager. The animations are simple but they move just enough. Boobs sway, hips grind, tentacles drip. It’s not pretty in the high-budget way. It’s more dirty, like a sketchbook full of horny doodles that somehow came alive and started sucking you off.

What really hit me is how they play with all the characters you kinda had a crush on years ago but never admitted. Tsunade’s tits are huge and heavy, they actually bounce when she rides you, not like in those stiff hentai gifs. Hinata pretends to be shy but then she’s taking your cock between her boobs, pushing them together herself while whispering your name. I got a footjob from Ino on a random “training” scene and felt weirdly called out, because I didn’t think I was into feet, but the way her toes slide along the shaft, with that smug expression like she knows you’re about to blow, yeah, that did something. Then there’s the more twisted stuff. You’re peeking through a door and see Karin getting pounded by some monster thing with way too many limbs, and instead of being scared the first thought is “oh fuck, that looks good”, and you feel a bit broken in the head… but you still click next. Tentacles wrapping around thighs, holding arms back, pushing into every hole. Multiple penetration scenes where you can’t even keep track where your dick is supposed to be anymore, just a mess of skin and dripping fluids and girls moaning your name like you’re the last man in the world. One moment you’re tongue deep between Sakura’s legs while she grips your hair, next moment you’re climaxing inside some monster girl with glowing eyes, her claws on your chest. Feels like a horny fever dream written by someone who watched Naruto in middle school and never got over it.

The funny part, there is actual game under all that porn, which is kinda annoying because sometimes I just want to skip the turn based fights and go back to watching Sarada and Sumire grinding on each other, fingers slippery, thighs pressed tight, pupils blown like they’re high on you. You gotta wander around, talk to people, level up, figure small quests, and I kept getting lost because I forgot what I was doing the moment a stripping scene started. One second the story is about ancient clans and your special eye power, next second Tsunade has you pinned to her desk, her big ass slamming down on your lap while she milks you like you owe her rent. There’s voyeur stuff all over: peeking at Tenten changing, catching Ayame washing herself behind the shop, Himawari doing something she absolutely shouldn’t be doing at that age in canon, but here she’s drawn older and ready and you kinda just roll with it. Sometimes I was half playing, half scrolling Telegram, then the game hits you with an animated creampie shot so thick and messy you drop everything. Watching the cum drip out slowly while the girl’s body still trembles around you feels way more intimate than it has any right to be in a cheap mobile-style sandbox like this. I keep telling myself I’m done with it, that it’s too dumb, but then I open Chrome again and somehow I’m back in Konoha, chasing the next blowjob scene like a clown.

Sarada Uchiha XXX Simulator looks like something somebody hacked together during a horny weekend and forgot to clean up, and that is exactly why it kinda works. You open it, there is no big intro, no lore dump, nothing. Just Sarada right in your face, already giving you that half annoyed, half curious look that she always has in fanart. Menu is simple, almost ugly in a charming way. Few buttons around her, random icons, some of them look like they were cut from an old Flash game on Newgrounds. First thing I did was start clicking like an idiot, changed her glasses off, then back on, then tried different clothes. There is this cheap thrill when you realize you can strip the “good girl” Uchiha kid down to nothing and nobody in Konoha can stop you. Outfit system is not huge, but good enough to play dress up perv. School uniform vibe, little tweaks to colors, some stockings that honestly look a bit cursed if you stare too long. I messed with her hairband and spent too long deciding if she looks hotter with or without it, which is stupid because you know damn well you will remove everything anyway.

Sex part is very straightforward, like old browser hentai toys. Click, drag, small minigame bits that are there mostly so it doesn’t feel like static slideshow. There is this rhythm mechanic that feels like somebody copied it from those old osu clones, but drunk. You try to hit the “sweet spot” and Sarada changes expressions. When you go too fast she gets that shocked wide eyes, when you keep a steady pace she starts melting, tongue out, cheeks red like she just lost a sparring match and her chakra too. No story, no excuses, just you and her in an empty void, which somehow makes it feel more dirty, like a debug room that was never meant for public. The customization of her face is actually the best part. You can turn her into smug brat, or shy virgin, or complete cockdrunk slut who looks like she forgot who Hokage is. I spent more time playing with eyebrows angles than actually fucking her, which is kinda embarrassing. The moans are hit or miss, some clips loop weird, sometimes they sync by accident and you get this one moment where everything lines up and it feels like you are the director of the most illegal Boruto spin off ever. And then some janky animation breaks it again, her boob clipping a bit through her arm, and you remember it is just another horny parody running in your browser while Discord pings in the background and Spotify playlist is still on that one track that does not match the scene at all.

This thing is basically Sarada’s brain going completely horny-mode over Hinata, and the whole “story” is just an excuse to throw them together and see how far it can go. It starts kind of harmless, just Hinata being her usual soft, awkward self and Sarada staring way too long at her tits like she’s pretending to talk about training but her eyes are glued to the cleavage. The game doesn’t even try to hide it. One second you’re just watching them chat about Naruto being busy, next second, Sarada’s already popped that freaky futa bulge that looks like it should have its own chakra nature. It’s honestly funny how big they made it. It’s not just big, it’s stupid big, like “who the hell drew this and said yeah that’s fine” big. And yet it kinda works, because Hinata acts so shy at first, then starts riding it like she’s been waiting her whole life for Naruto to leave the house and never come back.

What I actually liked, weirdly, is how they let you pace the action a bit. You’re not just sitting there watching a single looping scene, you click through the stages and it’s like Sarada is leveling up her corruption every step. Slow grinding, then faster, then full on “hokage’s wife getting pounded by her son’s teammate” like this is the most normal village activity. Some animations are janky as hell though. There’s a part where Hinata’s boobs jiggle like they’re trying to escape her chest and fly out of the screen, and the lip sync is basically non-existent, but then you get a close-up angle and everything suddenly feels way more polished, like they spent 3 days on that one shot and 3 minutes on the previous one. Controls are simple, just clicking your way through positions, changing speed, letting Sarada go from awkward teen to full on sex monster. At one moment you’re cheering for Sarada, “yeah, get it, queen,” and next second you’re like, “girl, calm down, you’re going to destroy her spine with that thing.” The lesbian energy between them is actually hotter than the cock half, which is wild in a futa game, but the devs clearly knew what they were doing with all the eye contact and Hinata blushing while still begging for more. There’s that classic flash-game jank, the kind of thing that makes you go “ugh whatever” and still keep clicking, because by the time Hinata’s moaning Naruto’s name while Sarada is the one rearranging her insides, you already forgot you were going to stop after “just one more scene.”

This one feels like someone mashed up two fanfic tabs in Chrome after a long day and just went "yeah ok, this is canon now". You got Nico Robin there, calm and smug like always, thinking she’s in control with her stupidly flexible body and that whole "extra arms anywhere" thing. Then Sarada shows up, trying way too hard to look serious while obviously horny as hell, and Sakura just appears behind her with that MILF energy like, "Sweetie, let me show you how we really handle pirates." It sounds silly when you write it, but in the scene it actually hits kind of dirty in a good way. The vibe is less romance, more "ok we caught you, now we’re gonna absolutely ruin you because we can". Robin starts all composed and confident, and five seconds later she’s getting pinned down by chakra and Sharingan and those stupidly big tits bouncing all over while she’s stuffed from both ends like some cursed hentai snack.

The futa thing is not a teaser, it’s the main dish. They pull out those big cocks like it’s just another jutsu, no build up, no slow reveal, just suddenly Sakura with this thick pink-veined monster, Sarada with her own hard shaft twitching, and poor Robin realizing she’s about to find out in very clear detail how Konoha does "interrogation". There’s this moment that really stuck with me where Robin tries to keep it together, using her powers to grab their hips, thinking she can guide the pace, and then Sakura just grabs her by the hair and rams in deeper, almost folding Robin in half. It’s rough, but not like torture, more like that "you thought you were the boss? cute" kind of rough. Watching Sarada awkward at first, then suddenly going way too fast once she finds the right angle, actually felt a bit real. Like a horny teen with too much power and zero patience. Nico moaning through gritted teeth, huge boobs bouncing so much they almost look stupid, but in that good, brain-off, cock-on way. Honestly I kept catching myself staring more at how their hips slapped together than at any facial expression.

There is one thing that kinda annoyed me, and it’s small, but it kept poking my brain. The way Sarada holds her cock sometimes, her hand just sort of floats weird around it, like the grip is off. I was on Firefox and I even thought my zoom was fucked for a second, checked on Chrome, still the same. Not game breaking, just one of those things you notice and then can’t unsee. Also, sometimes it feels like they rush through positions too fast. There’s this delicious bit where both of them are buried deep in Robin, one in her ass, one in her pussy, and for like three glorious strokes it’s perfect, her belly bulging just a bit, drool on her lips, eyes rolled back, and then, boom, new angle already. I wanted them to stay there, just grind her into the bed until her brain leaks out her ears or something. Still, when Sakura wraps her arms around Robin from behind, tits pressing against her back, slamming into her while Sarada pounds the front, and Robin’s whole body shakes between them like she’s about to break, yeah, that’s the moment you kinda forget everything else and just let the hentai brain rot do its thing.