Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

This one feels like some horny game dev looked at old point and click adventures, got frustrated that you couldn’t just grab the NPC’s tits, and then decided “fine, I’ll do it myself.” You play as this guy who isn’t really a hero, more like a pervy glitch in the system, wandering around a fantasy town where everybody acts like standard NPC background dolls. They repeat the same lines, stand in the same spot, ignore you unless some invisible flag is flipped. Except the fun is exactly that you don’t play by those rules. You poke at the edges, touch what you’re not “supposed” to touch, and the game just goes “yeah ok, that works.” It feels less like you’re following a quest and more like you’re abusing dev mode on a porn server that forgot to log you out.

First time I triggered the shop girl event, I actually laughed. She’s doing her basic dialogue loop, all polite merchant smile, and I just start clicking everywhere like a degenerate speedrunner. Instead of the usual “that doesn’t work,” her clothes start reacting. Little tug here, skirt rides up. Another click, her top just kind of flickers and now her nipples are already out, and she’s still talking like a normal NPC about discounts, like nothing weird is happening. That mix of deadpan NPC chatter with your hand squeezing her ass is stupidly hot. It’s not instant porn-thirst either, the game makes you poke around a bit, figure out where the invisible hotspots are, like a dirty hidden object puzzle. Then you hit the right chain and suddenly she’s bent over the counter, dick in her pussy while the text still pretends you’re “browsing wares.” And yeah, it’s AI CG, you can kinda tell in some frames, the hair blends weird, but then she’s choking on your cock in a short looping animation and you just stop caring about the fingers looking a bit off in one shot.

The whole “free use” vibe is strong, but twisted through this NPC logic. Sometimes you’re basically using her like a toy in public, and the rest of the world just keeps running its script. Monster girl shows up in one scene like she’s just another NPC type, but of course she’s not, she moves slightly wrong, looks a bit too aware. Oral, vaginal, anal, it’s all there, but it’s the way the game ties it to clicking and “breaking” the scene that got me. You’re not picking choices from a list; you’re pushing on the edges of the world, stripping clothes piece by piece, sliding from groping to full-on fucking just by insisting with your mouse like a horny QA tester. It’s short, yeah, and the interface sometimes feels like it’s trolling you with one-pixel hotspots. I swear one of the hover tooltips is misaligned and it annoyed the hell out of me, and then I forgot because I was busy pounding an NPC who’s still reciting her standard welcome line while you cum inside her and the game quietly pretends that’s a normal interaction. Leaderboard brain in me kind of wanted a “fastest to make her swallow” timer, but it’s probably better it’s not there. Or worse. I can’t decide.

This thing is like someone took a horny Twitch clone, poured vodka on it, and said, “yeah, she’ll be fine.” You’re basically babysitting Kuroi Bara while she claws her way up the streamer food chain, except the “content” she’s selling is… let’s say not exactly Just Chatting. You’re juggling schedules, checking numbers, trying to keep her from burning out, and at the same time slowly nudging her from shy “oh no my shirt slipped” girl into “oh yeah I’m putting this toy in and pretending it’s a viewer request” kind of monster. Half the fun is watching that mental slide. First streams are all cute, nervous, safe stuff, she’s blushing when someone drops a dirty comment. A few in, you’ve got her doing “accidental” nipple flashes, moving her webcam angle lower, putting way too much lotion on her tits while pretending it’s a skin care tutorial. There’s that point where you push her to do a “sleep stream” and then she “wakes up” already wet and acts surprised, and you know exactly who made that happen. Totally wholesome.

What really hooked me is how the management side and the porn bits keep tripping over each other. You’re checking stats like a degenerate social media manager: followers, tips, subs, what tags are hot, how long she can keep teasing before they start spamming for tits. You toss her into a collab and suddenly there’s this other girl on call who’s clearly not just there to talk about games. One moment they’re joking about some old anime that never had a beach episode, next moment they’re kissing on cam and grabbing each other’s tits like they’re checking if they’re real. Then you’re back in menus figuring out what “toy sponsorship” deal to accept, because yeah, brands want her to stick stuff inside herself on camera. Cute. The game really loves teasing. There was this one stream where she spends like ten minutes licking a popsicle and the chat’s losing their minds, and you’re screaming at your screen “just put something in your mouth already.” And when she finally agrees to a blowjob stream, the camera work goes stupidly intimate. Spit, choking, her trying to keep eye contact with the lens while her throat’s full, all that. It’s messy in the right way, and somehow the game still pretends she’s “reluctant” for about five seconds before she starts grinding the desk. I kinda wish the pacing was slower, more like a slow cook stew, but also the fact it jumps from “oops boob slip” to “full-on dildo show on cam” feels like a drunk party where nobody remembers how the clothes disappeared. The only thing that actually annoyed me was one tiny UI button being just slightly off-center and now I can’t stop noticing it. Anyway, yeah, Kuroi starts out being your sweet little streamer dream and ends up masturbating on camera just because the follower count stalled for a bit. Realistic, honestly.

This thing throws you right into Luna’s brain like she just walked out of some cute fairy anime and then got slapped in the face with Pornhub. She lands in this sleepy little village that looks all soft and cozy at first, flowers everywhere, people smiling too much, that fake kind of wholesome you see in small town Instagram pics. Then you start talking to folks and realize half the town is backed up and horny and the other half is busy pretending sex doesn’t exist, and you’re basically hired as the official “please fuck everyone before the world breaks” girl. Luna’s this tiny fey girl with huge eyes and a body that absolutely doesn’t match her clueless personality, big tits bouncing when she runs around doing “quests” that are really just setups for sex scenes pretending to be favors. It goes from cute to filthy in like three clicks, and the shift actually works, because she never really stops being sweet even when she’s covered in cum and asking who’s next.

What surprised me is how the game mixes the management stuff with the actual porn. You’re not just clicking through dialog to reach a CG. You’re checking Luna’s lust vs restraint, choosing if she plays hard to get or just drops to her knees the moment someone even hints at wanting a blowjob. I had one scene where she went to “comfort” this nervous girl from the celibacy cult, and depending on your stats it either stays soft with tender kissing and slow, shivery groping or it flips into Luna pushing the girl against the wall and making her whimper while she eats her out. The lesbian content is honestly the best part here, the dev clearly likes women actually enjoying themselves, not just moaning for the camera. There’s this one bit with a monster girl who’s way taller than Luna, thick thighs, big ass, extra limbs doing their own thing, and Luna’s just hanging off her like a toy while getting absolutely stuffed. It looks ridiculous and hot at the same time, especially when the monster girl keeps teasing her, holding her just out of reach of orgasm until Luna’s begging and drooling and promises to be a “good village toy.” I thought I’d hate the corruption angle, but watching Luna slowly go from “oh my, is this okay?” to casually asking if someone wants their pussy or their ass first kind of sneaks up on you, and suddenly the innocent fairy girl is the one pushing sex toys into cult ladies and telling them they’ll sleep better with a creampie.

The tone jumps all over the place, in a good way and also in a “what the fuck are we doing” way. One scene is goofy, like Luna streaking across a field because some pervy shrine spirit only listens to naked people, and she’s half embarrassed and half giggling while villagers pretend not to stare. Next scene there’s this dark church basement where lust is literally warping reality, and you’ve got tentacly shapes hugging her thighs, sliding under her clothes, making her moan and blush while she’s trying to look brave. The game keeps teasing exhibitionism, like Luna getting used to people watching her, breasts out, ass grabbed, someone’s tongue in her mouth while another hand pushes her thighs apart. Then later you bump into a stupid little issue like the UI hiding half a dialogue choice and it annoys the hell out of you, but you forget that once she’s riding some big guy, tits bouncing, her expression going from nervous to “fuck, harder” in a few frames. The humor actually lands most of the time, especially when Luna tries to be “professional” about giving happy endings and treats it like customer service on crack. One moment she’s politely asking a woman if she prefers fingers or tongue, next moment an eldritch goddess that looks like a horny sea nightmare is using her like a toy, and Luna’s trying to keep it together while getting filled from angles that don’t even make sense. The best part is when her restraint is low and she starts teasing others first, grinding on a shy girl’s lap, guiding some flustered villager’s hands to her tits, whispering dirty things in a tone that still sounds like a fairy offering you flowers. It shouldn’t work. It kind of shouldn’t even be this hot. But here we are.