Creepy House feels like that one horny urban legend your buddy swears happened to his “cousin in another town”, except this time you actually get to click your way through it. You play this kinda screwed over dude fresh out of high school, stuck in community college hell, surrounded by boring people who think a haunted mansion is the scariest thing ever. Everyone in the neighborhood is all “don’t go near that place, it’s cursed” and obviously that just makes you walk right up and knock like you’re delivering Uber Eats to Satan. Door opens, and instead of some old man with a shotgun, you get hit in the face with pure goth chaos: deadpan stares, black lipstick, cold sarcasm, and more teasing than a TikTok thirst trap. It feels like falling into a bootleg Addams Family episode nobody told the lawyers about, in the best and worst way at the same time.

The house itself is like a horny theme park. Every room is set up for some new awkward situation where you’re trying to act normal while someone’s pale, stacked mom casually leans over a table and her tits are doing jump scares at you. The game keeps throwing you into these little adventure scenes where you’re picking what to say, pretending you’re not staring, and yeah, if you play it half-smart, ending up with a lot of very sloppy, very enthusiastic oral action. One moment you’re “helping” Wednesday-style goth girl study and the next she’s on her knees making eye contact like she’s sucking out your soul through your dick. They tease like crazy too, the kind of slow hand on the thigh, “oh you’re getting hard from this?” shit that makes you want to punch your own screen and say yes, obviously. There’s this milf who talks like she’s just being polite, but every line sounds like an invite to cheat on someone you don’t even have. It’s that weird mix of creepy and hot that kinda should not work, but it does, then sometimes it doesn’t, then it does again. The “horror” part is 90% vibes and outfits, but occasionally they toss in a little dark joke that makes you snort at the worst time, like right when something filthy is happening and you’re half trying to, you know, focus.

What actually got me was this dumb little extra thing: as you mess around in the mansion and get deeper into this horny fake Addams situation, you unlock pin-ups of other goth girls that are clearly inspired by every internet crush you’ve ever had. It’s like the dev had a folder named “do not open at work” and just dumped it into the game. I kept thinking “ok, one more scene and I’m done” and then suddenly I’m chasing some new teasing route because I wanted to see if the quiet girl in the hallway actually snaps and drags you into some hidden room for a “punishment” blowjob. And sometimes the pacing just falls on its face, like you’re ready for something filthy and the game makes you click through a bunch of dialog that feels like it escaped from a sitcom from the 90s, but then you hit a line that’s so petty or mean or strangely romantic that you kind of forgive it without noticing. It’s messy, horny, a bit broken in the head, and it absolutely leans into that fantasy of “everybody told you not to go to that house” and you went anyway, and your biggest problem now is choosing which goth girl is gonna ruin your GPA with her mouth.

Dirty little war story, that is what this feels like. You’re this guy, Hidu, ex-soldier, merc now, and the world doesn’t give a shit whether you survive or not. City is rotten from top to bottom, nobles throwing money and bodies around like it’s Tinder Gold, and under that there is this whole mess of beastfolk, horny cult types with horns everywhere, and a lot of asses that probably shouldn’t be as fuckable as they are. It reads like somebody mashed a grim fantasy novel with Pornhub search history and forgot to clean their browser after. Text hits you first, quite a lot of it, more like sexting with a crazy ex who also knows how to worldbuild. Then the illustrations pop in and you go “oh, ok, that fox girl actually has ridiculous tits” and you lose the thread of the political intrigue for a second.

Controls are simple, choices on the screen, you poke around like in a sandbox, only instead of Minecraft blocks you’re rearranging who gets tied up and who gets fucked. Sometimes you walk around the port, visit some shady bar, try to act like you care about missing enforcers, and suddenly you’re balls deep in a chained-up futa wolf who could probably break your spine if you slip the tongue wrong. There is this one scene in a warehouse, I swear, where I meant to just interrogate a captured spy. I picked the rough option, thinking “ok, light intimidation,” and five clicks later I’m slapping this curvy catgirl’s ass, collar around her throat, making her beg to take it in the ass too. The game lets you slide from “I’m a professional mercenary” to “I’m the daddy you hate to love” without really putting a line there. Felt a bit like when some guy in my cam chat tips extra and suddenly the roleplay gets darker than I planned, but I kinda enjoy it anyway.

I like that Hidu is not written as some awkward virgin fantasy loser. He knows what he wants, he can be a real bastard, but not always. You pick if you break someone or tease them, and sometimes the text hits this nice brutal honesty like, “yeah, he’s doing it because it turns him on, not because it’s noble.” Kind of refreshing. But then, once or twice, the game acts like you had some huge character arc and I was like, when? I just spent ten scenes railing a goat-horned futa in every hole she has and calling her my pet, don’t pretend I’m suddenly noble hero. And there is a tiny thing that annoyed me: the text boxes sometimes scroll at weird moments, cutting a sentence where I really wanted to sit with it, like right when it describes sliding into a tight ass or when she finally stops fighting the rope and melts. It’s small, but my brain fixates on that more than on who is killing all those enforcers. Plot is there, sure, war, gangs, some big storm coming, whatever. I kept getting distracted by whether the next scene would let me stuff both pussy and ass in the same chain of choices or if I had to pick. Also, furry stuff: if animal ears and tails make you wet, you’re going to be happy, the game doesn’t treat them as a joke. Some of these girls, and a couple of those futa “girls”, are absolute meat. Thighs like they could crush your skull, tits that probably break armor, and you topping them anyway, choking them out gently or not so gently, reading the lines and thinking “yeah, this writer has seen some dark Pornhub categories too.” And then out of nowhere, there is like three paragraphs about the city smell and the broken cobblestone and merc guild politics and I found myself skimming, then feeling guilty because actually it’s pretty decent, then immediately skipping again when the next anal scene appeared. I’m not proud. Actually I am. Whatever.

Game feels like opening an old Facebook chat with your childhood crush and then immediately getting dragged into the kind of horny soap opera you only admit watching when your VPN is on. You start as this guy who used to be super close with Emilia, then shit went bad, family moved, classic “I’ll totally message you” lie, and now, many years later, life decides to throw you right back into her orbit. And not just hers. She has younger twin sisters now, and they’re grown, hot, way too grabby for their own good, and apparently never learned the word “boundaries.” The game basically locks you into this messy reunion where awkward nostalgia, unresolved drama, and slow-burn romance keep crashing into handsy teasing and full-on sex like some horny soap that forgot how brakes work.

Most of it plays like a kinetic story, so you don’t get that much choice, but it actually kind of fits this one. It feels more like binging one of those trashy Netflix dramas on autopilot while half your brain is busy thinking “ok but if she’s mad at him, why is her hand on his dick right now?” The MC is still a virgin at the start, which is honestly hilarious with how fast everyone around him flips from “long time no see” to “hey, let me grind on your lap.” There’s a strong focus on teasing, slow groping, stripping piece by piece, that kind of thing, before the more hardcore stuff starts. Animated scenes help a lot; there’s this one moment in the living room where one of the twins is “just joking” by climbing in your lap, and the way her hips move in the animation is way more indecent than anything she actually says. Feels like the dev knew exactly which angle people pause on in other games and just locked the camera there.

Sex itself goes pretty far. Handjobs that feel messy and clumsy in a good way, deep oral where the girl’s eyes water and she has to pull back, interracial scenes that are actually framed like real encounters instead of some weird fetish ad, and more emotional romance stuff too, where Emilia finally stops pretending she doesn’t care. Then out of nowhere the game just slams you with real graphic violence in some parts. Like, soft lighting, half-naked girl giggling, then suddenly someone gets hurt badly and there’s blood and you’re sitting there like you accidentally clicked the wrong tab. Honestly it hit harder because the rest of the game is all warm bodies and dumb jokes and then, bam. They use it to push the story forward, tie into the big life event that brings everybody together again, but it still catches you off guard. There are multiple endings depending on your route and how you handle the emotional stuff, though you can’t sidestep the sex anyway, which is kind of the point. The twins are playful and bratty and clearly into groping and messing with you, Emilia is the slow-burn heart of the story, and you’re stuck in the middle, trying to figure out if this is a romance, a porn game, or that one night your brain keeps replaying when you’re trying to sleep.