You ever start a game thinking it’s just another parody and then suddenly you’re watching Delia Ketchum bend over a lab table like she’s about to teach anatomy class the hard way? Yeah, that’s this one. It starts all innocent - Pallet Town, sunshine, that “I overslept again” energy - and then, bam, you’re in Professor Oak’s lab snooping through his stuff and learning he’s been researching... let’s just say “human-pokemon compatibility” in a way no academic journal would publish. The tone flips faster than a Tinder match gone wrong. One second you’re pretending to care about rare species, next second you’re covered in way more than curiosity.

Delia, though - holy hell. They made her look like the definition of “MILF who knows exactly what she’s doing.” She’s got that soft mom energy but says things that would make even Team Rocket blush. The scenes with her feel weirdly personal, like the game’s reading your dirty thoughts out loud. There’s a part where she leans in too close, her voice dripping honey and sin, and you just *know* this isn’t about Pokémon anymore. The writing’s cheeky as hell, half jokes, half filthy confessions, and somehow it works. You’ll laugh, you’ll groan, you’ll maybe question your childhood a little.

The pacing’s messy in that good kind of way - it doesn’t care about logic, just about pushing you deeper into its horny fever dream. You might roll your eyes at the story, but then the next scene hits and suddenly you’re invested in seeing how far the “research” goes. Controls? Who even cares, you’ll figure ‘em out with one hand anyway. It’s trashy, it’s fun, and it’s got that nostalgic kick twisted into something you definitely can’t talk about in polite company. Kind of like if Pokémon grew up, got divorced, and started posting thirst traps at 2 a.m. on Twitter.

This one feels like some horny fan finally snapped during a camping trip and decided, “yeah, I’m fucking Gardevoir in the woods,” then actually followed through. It’s not some giant epic thing, more like a focused little shrine to one very specific fantasy: you, a trainer who clearly stopped caring about league rules, railing your Gardevoir in an outdoor spot where the grass is way too clean for what’s happening. Right away it throws you into customization instead of wasting time on story. Hair tweak, skin shade, that kind of body color stuff, how “monstery” vs “soft waifu” she looks, changing the vibe with just a couple sliders. You don’t get a huge dress-up catalog, but what is there hits the right spots. I spent way too long just swapping tiny details and zooming in on how her expression shifts when you change one option. I kind of hate that you can’t adjust height difference much, but then I forgot about it after like two strokes of the animation.

What really sells it is how damn focused it is on the actual act. You pick anal or vaginal, no bullshit, and the animation just goes. Rhythmic, sticky, and it doesn’t shy away from the messy parts. The creampie is front and center, not some little white dot and fade to black. When you go vaginal, her body actually looks like she’s taking it, not like some lazy loop. Switch to anal and the whole energy feels different, tighter, a little “wrong” in that good way, especially with her looking back at you like she knows you shouldn’t be doing this in the grass but she’s into it anyway. There’s a couple variations on speed and camera, but nothing crazy, it’s more like you’re locked into this one filthy moment and just nudging it around. Somewhere in the middle I started swearing at the screen because one tiny environment option just would not stay the way I set it, and then I got distracted again by the way the cumshot pools out of her.

The secret fun is poking around like a pervert detective. Click where you’re not supposed to, wiggle on empty parts of the UI, that sort of thing. Hit the right spots and you suddenly unlock a clothing piece that feels way too horny for an official game, or some extra little twist on the sex scene. There’s at least one hidden bit that flips the “normal” vibe of the animation into something nastier, like the animator was laughing and thinking “yeah, if you found this, you deserve this level of depravity.” I liked that it didn’t explain itself. No tutorial, no glowing arrow, just “figure my dirty secrets out if you’re dedicated enough with your mouse.” I wish there were more poses and more outdoor spots to swap between, because when you’re into multi-lover endings like I am, your brain starts imagining a whole party of mons waiting off-screen, but that never happens and it probably never will. Still, Gardevoir alone, kneeling in the open with grass brushing her thighs while you decide where to fill her, ends up being more than enough to make you close your other tabs and focus on just this one loop.

Dawn wakes up on this quiet orange-pink beach, sky still cold, water flat like it is waiting for something dirty to happen. She is tired, backpack half empty, pokeballs rattling, stomach making more noise than the wild mons. No cute sponsor, no friendly professor sending cash on the phone app, only some shady quest marker glowing over this fat guy near the broken pier. Typical hentai setup, we know, but the writing actually leans into it. He doesn’t even pretend to help her. He just looks at her clothes, that short skirt and tight top, and says it straight: “You want money, you bend over.” It’s trashy, it’s blunt, and it hits hard because the game never cuts away to something heroic. There is no pretend romance. Just a trainer girl who hunted all night and now has to pay for breakfast with her ass.

The walk from the dialog box to that broken fence in the sand is way hotter than it should be. Nothing really “happens” yet, just these little pixel animations of Dawn fidgeting, pulling her skirt down, then giving up. You move her, you can cancel and run back, but you don’t. We didn’t. She reaches that ruined bit of rail, the camera shifts, and suddenly her knees are in the sand and you get that side view of her ass pushed out. Her panties go down in one rough pull, no soft romance, and there is this short frame where her pussy is just there in pixelart, little white shine where wetness should be. Then he grabs her hips from behind and rams in without warm up. It looks painful. It looks fucking good. I liked how they show her trying to stay quiet because there are wild mons in the grass behind them. It’s silly and it aroused the hell out of us. Doggystyle in the open, with the sea just a few steps away, her fingers clawing the sand each time he thrusts in. Sometimes her head lifts, eyes wide, like she wants to protest, then the next frame she’s blushing and biting her lip. The rhythm of the animation is weird. Sometimes too fast, then slow for like five loops, which made it feel less like a porn template and more like some guy actually messing up his pace while fucking her.

Sex for cash can be boring when games try to be “dark” and then show nothing. Here they show everything, but somehow it still feels a bit pathetic. After enough thrust cycles, you can choose if he pulls out or not. We went for creampie first, because of course. When he finishes, there is this thick cumshot that stays inside, then slowly leaks out between her lips, making little white drops in the sand while she still breathes hard. It’s cheap pixel goo, but it hits. Second time we tried the outside option. He jerks half out of her, sprays all over her ass and lower back, and the game lets you keep staring while it drips down between her cheeks. There is a tiny janky detail that drove me crazy: one white pixel stays stuck at the edge of her skirt, like the dev forgot to clean it. I kept looking at that damn pixel instead of the rest. The humiliation angle works, mostly because she pulls her panties back up with cum still on her skin, stands there with her legs shaking, then walks to the town vendor like this is just another quest reward. No big drama, no slow piano music, no fake redemption. She gets her money. She buys food. She goes back to looking for monsters in the grass with a used pussy and sand still stuck on her knees. Honestly, it’s filthy and kind of hot and also kind of sad, and it made us want a longer game while at the same time I’m not sure I’d handle more of it without needing a cold shower.

Con-Quest is one of those horny little browser things that looks kind of silly at first, then three minutes later you’re way too invested in whether some half-naked Pikachu cosplayer is going to stomp you or blow you a kiss. It plays like an RPG that forgot to be serious, which is good, but if you care about accessibility like I do, it also kinda forgot blind and low-vision players exist. The whole game is just walls of small bright text on bright backgrounds, no text size slider, no contrast options, no colorblind presets, nothing. I tried zooming in with Chrome and Firefox, had to keep dragging the screen around like some weird porn spreadsheet. And yeah, I know, you came here to jerk off, not to read a UI audit, but still. When Vanilla storms around the convention hunting the money thief, you get these fun, snappy lines, but if you have any reading difficulty or ADHD it turns into “click, click, where was I again.” They sped up the text speed which sounds good, until your eyes are slower than the horny dialogue and you’re chasing every line like it is Snapchat. At least the animated portraits are nice and expressive, Ivy’s smug grin is perfect when she’s basically edging you with teasing comments, but they don’t help when you can’t tell which character is speaking because the name text is tiny and there is zero voice indication.

The lewd part is funny and stupid in a good way. You’re running around this con full of cosplayers who clearly did not come for child friendly content. There’s a Meowth girl who basically flirts by bullying you, dressed in ears, tail, tight little outfit that clings like latex, and the “reward” is you humiliating her through battle and then getting this multi-stage animated scene where she goes from cocky to absolutely ruined for you. It is not subtle. Pokemon parody everywhere, bootleg mons jokes, sexy Flygon girl pinned into this “oops I fell on you” pose, Mia and Nia doing this twin act that feels like it wants to be wholesome and still ends up about you undressing them with stickers. The sticker book is basically your porn gallery, of course, but cycling characters with keyboard or screen reader? Forget it. I tried NVDA and JAWS out of habit, they both just saw a pile of unlabeled buttons and decorative images. No alt text, no focus order that makes sense, just “button, button, button” so if you play by ear it is like trying to masturbate while somebody reads you the settings menu of Microsoft Word. The new second floor is fun to explore, the whole “Vanilla might have this thief killed” plot gives her a mean streak that is kinda hot, kinda scary, but if you’re sensitive to flicker or fast motion, the quick sliding portraits in dialogue and sudden UI shifts can be a bit much and there is no toggle. Funny thing is, they clearly know how to tweak code, optimize performance, hook up animated rewards, tease you with topless alt portraits, but a simple “bigger font” button or high-contrast mode is still missing. I keep grumbling about that while also chasing every new horny cosplayer quest like a dog with a bone, which probably says more about me than about the game.