I keep coming back to this one scene in the game, the part where the guy’s dick is just... out. Not in a dramatic way. He’s in the car, she’s leaning over, and it’s just there, this big cartoonish thing that the animator clearly had fun with. The handjob starts and it’s sloppy in a good way, the kind of exaggerated motion that makes you snort. Her technique is terrible if you think about it for more than a second, but the sound design is weirdly wet. Then the blowjob happens and it’s the same energy, very bouncy, very “yes this is happening in a parked sedan.”

And then the aliens show up. I forgot to mention the aliens. That’s the whole thing, right? The sky goes green, a classic saucer beams down, and the mood just shatters. The guy’s still hard. The girl’s mouth is still... you know. The cumshot, when it finally arrives, is less a climax and more a punchline. The animation on the alien’s face, that blank “we come in peace” stare, is funnier than it has any right to be. I’ve played more polished games, stuff like Summer Memories where the scenes flow like a visual novel, but this is the opposite. It’s a single joke stretched over a few minutes and it works because it doesn’t try to be anything else.

The big tits are there, obviously, but they’re almost a background detail to the sheer absurdity. I wish the loop was a little smoother, the transition from the car interior to the abduction beam is jarring in a way that feels accidental, not intentional. But then I remember the alien’s little antenna wiggling during the money shot and I don’t care anymore. It’s the kind of thing you bookmark not for the fap material but for the moment you need to show someone what the internet is capable of. The humor tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. It’s not a dating sim, it’s a shitpost with jiggle physics. And honestly? More games should have the confidence to be just that.

The first thing that hits you is the sheer number of options. Penis colour choices. Not just one or two, a whole palette. It’s absurd and I spent way too long on it, cycling through hues like I was picking out paint for a bathroom. This is a Samus parody where she’s on a beach vacation, blonde and stacked, and the whole thing feels like someone’s messy sketchbook that got out of hand in the best way. The deliberate unpolished look, it’s not lazy. It’s a vibe. Like finding a crumpled hentai doujin under a park bench, but interactive.

The groping mechanic is just... there’s no tutorial, you just start pawing at her swimsuit and it reacts. You can undress her piece by piece, and the clothing doesn’t vanish, it hangs off her body in these awkward, realistic folds that make it dirtier somehow. The unli-cumshots feature is exactly what it sounds like. I triggered it during a tentacle scene, the alien appendages wrapped around her big boobs, and the screen just became a Jackson Pollock painting. There’s a costume choice that lets you swap her into different bikinis, and I got stuck on a microkini that barely contained anything, just staring at the way the pixels stretched. The colour choices extend to her outfit too, and I made her entire look an eye-searing neon pink that clashed horribly with the beach background. It was perfect.

The metroid parody angle is thin, mostly an excuse for the tentacles and the alien tag. She’s not really Samus, she’s a blonde bombshell on vacation who happens to have her name. There’s no bounty hunting. Just a lot of lying around getting molested by creatures that don’t care about your headcanon. The animation loops are janky, sometimes a tentacle will clip through her thigh and I’d wince, but then the next second her expression would shift in a way that felt genuinely lewd, not just programmed. It’s a game that knows what it is and doesn’t apologize for the rough edges. Actually, the sound design is nonexistent and that’s a crime. A game this messy needs some wet, squelching audio to sell the chaos. Without it, you’re just silently watching a disaster unfold, which is its own kind of weird meditation. I forgot what I was talking about. The beach background is static, just a flat image, and the waves never move. It’s hypnotic in a broken way.

An alien comes into our world with peace but his is not like us. This visitor looks like he wishes to tell us a message such as this: "Fuck you!" Nevertheless, it is not what he wishes to say he just wants to look around.

Mildred got that look, the one where she knows you could space her and nobody would file the paperwork. I keep coming back to her intro scene, not for the tits though those are fine, but because the voice line about the docking fee being "negotiable" lives in my skull rent free. This whole thing is a Dranock bounty hunt for some chick called Bloody Otter, but honestly the plot is just a clothesline to hang fuck scenes on. You fly around, talk to rebel girls, and every single one of them is horny in a way that makes zero tactical sense. I love it.

The alien tag is doing heavy lifting. You got the weird skin, the claws, the whole "I am a dangerous predator" energy, but then the dialogue options are like "ask about her day" or "grab her by the throat." The seduce mechanic is basically a minigame where you pick the least unhinged thing to say and she acts like you just recited poetry. I once picked the option that said "I smell your heat" and she laughed. Laughed. Then we fucked in a cargo hold next to a crate labeled "biohazard." The humor is accidental half the time, which makes it better.

Combat is just clicking through text, no real challenge. I wish there was more actual bounty hunting, like tracking someone across three systems instead of just landing and getting your dick wet. But then again the scene with the twin hunters near the asteroid bar, the one where you can choose which sister goes first, that made me forget the missing gameplay loop entirely. The art is rough, no polish, but the faces are expressive in a way that sticks. I still don't know what a Dranock is supposed to be biologically and at this point I'm afraid to ask.

The loading bar sits there like a joke you've heard before. This thing is massive, a whole space adventure with stat grinding for strength, charisma, knowledge. I respect the ambition but my patience was already thin from a browser tab eating RAM like it's a buffet. You don't get tits right away. You get menus. You get dialogue trees. You get a preview that ends before the real alien fucking starts.

And that's the rub, isn't it. The tags promise big boobs, hard sex, alien babes. What you actually get is a slow burn RPG where you train your character like it's a goddamn gym membership. I spent most of my time clicking through text and watching numbers go up. There's a moment where you finally meet an alien woman with a chest that defies physics, and the game teases you with a flash of skin, then slams the door shut. Blue balls in space. The dev literally says it's unfinished and not for people who want a fast fuck. Fair warning, but still.

I keep thinking about the wasted potential. The art style has this gritty, almost retro sci-fi vibe that could carry a proper porn game. Instead it's a stat check simulator with occasional nudity. Like ordering a pizza and getting the box with a photo of pizza inside. Maybe the full version will deliver. Maybe I'll be dead by then. The loading screen alone could outlive my interest.

One thing I wish was different: the preview should at least end with a proper sex scene. Not a fade to black. Not a "to be continued". Just one good alien fuck to make the grind worth it. But it won't be. That's the deal with these early builds. You're beta testing someone's erection.