The mouse click feels wrong. Not broken, just... cheap. Like tapping a styrofoam cup. You're this bartender, right, and there's an elf, a succubus, some blonde who's already slurring her words before you even pour anything. The whole thing runs in a browser tab, no weight to it. I kept clicking just to hear that hollow tap sound again. Weird thing to fixate on.

The game is basically a puzzle about getting these fantasy ladies hammered. You serve beers in a specific order. If you mess up the sequence, the elf gives you this look. You know the one. The "I asked for a lager and you handed me piss" face. The drunk blonde is the easiest, she'll take anything. The succubus though, she's tricky. You gotta butter her up with the right drink before she even thinks about loosening that top. There's no real strategy guide, you just fail and retry. The tactile part I can't get over is how the clothes don't just vanish. They slide off in stages, and the animation has this slight delay, like the fabric is catching on skin. It's the only part that feels like someone actually cared.

I spent way too long trying to get the elf's stockings off. The rest of the game is basically a flash animation from 2006, but that one texture on the stockings, the way they roll down, it's almost worth the zero effort put into the tavern background. The background is just a blurry jpeg of some wood planks. It never changes. The girls get wasted and naked and the bar still looks like a default wallpaper. The sound is just a loop of muffled chatter that cuts out abruptly when you win. It's jarring.

Anyway, the end state is all three of them naked and passed out. The succubus has this little snore animation. The blonde drools. It's the kind of thing you'd find on a forgotten corner of newgrounds. The whole thing is a mess but that stocking removal, man. I don't know why that's the hill I'm dying on. The game's called something like Tipsy Tavern or whatever, you'll find it if you search for elf succubus drunk bartender. Just don't expect the mouse to feel good when you click.