Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

The orc's cock is stupidly huge, like a third arm, and Jaina's tits spill out of her robe in a way that makes you forget she's supposed to be a mage. This is a WoW parody animation with sound, and honestly the sound is the best part. Her little gasps, the wet slap of skin, Garrosh's grunts that sound like he's lifting a boulder. You click through scenes, pick positions, and the loop plays out. No game over, no fail state, just Jaina getting absolutely wrecked by an orc with a dick the size of her forearm.

The big areola thing is front and center. Like, her nipples are the size of dinner plates and the animation lingers on them. Her thighs too, thick enough to crush a tauren. The cleavage shots are gratuitous but whatever, you're not here for lore accuracy. Though I do wish they'd kept her hair more like the actual Jaina model. It's close but something's off, maybe the face. Can't put my finger on it and I won't try again.

What kind of player gets the most from this? Someone who's already into WoW rule 34 and doesn't mind the jank. The animation loops are short, maybe ten seconds each, and there's no real variety beyond switching positions. But the sound design carries it. You could close your eyes and just listen. I did that once. Felt weird after.

The orc's balls don't move enough. That's my complaint. Everything else jiggles, her tits bounce like they're trying to escape, but his sack just hangs there static. Ruins the immersion a little. Not that I was immersed. Just saying.

Man, this sequel really went all out with the pregnancy mechanics, didn't it? Like, I wasn't expecting to get so invested in watching Android 18's belly grow while she's still kicking ass in those fight scenes. The whole family-raising aspect hits different when you're juggling romance routes with characters from completely different universes - one minute you're having tender moments with Momo from MHA, next you're dealing with Vados being all dominant and otherworldly. The animation quality definitely stepped up from the first game, especially during the more... intimate scenes. Watching Kefla's expressions during those POV moments is something else entirely. Though I gotta say, whoever designed Lusamine's scenes really understood the assignment - that whole MILF energy combined with the Pokemon aesthetic creates this weird but incredibly hot dynamic.

The crossover element works way better than it should. Having Saber from Fate arguing with Chun-Li about proper fighting techniques while you're trying to romance both of them creates these absolutely chaotic but hilarious situations. And don't get me started on the Dragon Ball girls - Caulifla's tsundere attitude contrasting with Android 21's more scientific approach to... experimentation... gives you completely different gameplay experiences. The pregnancy content isn't just thrown in there either; watching characters like Himiko Toga deal with maternal instincts while still being completely unhinged adds layers I didn't expect. Some of the Overwatch girls like Pharah have these surprisingly emotional storylines that caught me off guard between all the explicit content.

What really sells it though is how each character maintains their personality even during the lewdest scenes. Tsuyu still does that tongue thing (you know what I mean), Jaina keeps her magical flair even in bed, and Midnight... well, she's exactly as kinky as you'd expect. The sound design deserves special mention too - hearing these familiar voices in completely new contexts is both weird and incredibly arousing. Sure, some of the dialogue gets repetitive after multiple playthroughs, but when you're managing relationships with like thirty different waifus across four different anime universes, repetition is kinda inevitable.

This one hits like some drunk, horny fanfic that accidentally became a game, and I kinda respect that. You start with Pharah and Reinhardt in this weird in-between space that feels half battlefield, half backstage of a porn shoot. Armor still on, but not really, you know? The first moment that got me was when I clicked her chest plate and it just slid aside and suddenly those huge tits with big areolas pop out like they were waiting there for hours. No build up, no romance, just “here, have this.” Her cleavage is ridiculous in a way that fits Overwatch porn perfectly, like the artists always secretly wanted to do only this. The sound helps a lot too. When you drag her around and switch positions, you get these low moans that are not very “professional” quality, but they feel dirty and close, like recorded in someone’s bedroom on a single cheap mic. I had my headphones too loud on Spotify, switched volume, and suddenly Pharah is gasping in my ear while my Gmail tab is still open in background. Felt like I was doing something illegal in the most stupid way.

Reinhardt is the real problem and the best part at same time. The guy’s supposed to be a tank and they went all in on that. His cock is huge, like unnecessary huge, big veiny thing, and when you line him up with her it almost looks like a meme screenshot. First time I clicked to start penetration I thought it bugged out because it looked like it would just tear her in half, but the animation snaps into place and suddenly she is taking all of it like it’s weekly routine. There’s this one angle from the side where his body covers almost everything and you just see her big thighs spreading and bouncing a bit, and those heavy breasts wobbling with every thrust, nipples and areolas moving in this silly way that somehow turned me on more than the actual pounding. I spent way too long just clicking back and forth between that angle and the close up. Sometimes the sound loop doesn’t match the stroke speed, which annoyed me for like ten seconds, then I just went back to watching her tits. Brain is simple.

I like how they sneak little references without really caring about lore. There is a moment where you trigger another scene and suddenly there’s this orc in the back, very obviously a World of Warcraft thing, not even pretending to be subtle. I’m pretty sure it is meant to be Garrosh, but his face looks slightly off, like someone traced from wrong screenshot. He never joins, just stands there like he is judging everything with his big shoulders and tusks. No one reacts to him, which somehow makes it hotter and more stupid at same time. On another path, I clicked something on the UI by accident and it swapped background into some kind of WoW-style camp with Jaina Proudmoore in the far distance, boobs almost falling out, just posing and not animated at all. That completely distracted me for several minutes, I kept trying to click her, thinking maybe there is hidden scene, but no, she is basically wallpaper with big cleavage. Pharah is getting railed in front, Reinhardt grunting, and my brain is stuck like: “Why Jaina just standing there?” Felt like opening too many porn tabs in Chrome and forgetting which one you’re actually using. There’s also a random orc variant with a big green penis that shows up if you switch partners, and the way his big thighs slap against her makes totally different sound, heavier and more brutal. It is rough, half broken, a bit silly, and at one point I realized I had stopped “testing” and was just sitting there, clicking slow, watching Pharah choke on another gigantic cock and listening to those dirty looping moans like some pervert who found the exact trash he was searching for without knowing it.

The blonde's ass is the first thing you see, bent over and waiting like a fucking invitation. Big, pale, already marked from a previous round. This isn't a game that pretends to be deep. You click the rope, it wraps around her wrists. You click the gag, her muffled whines get louder. The whole thing runs on a loop of escalating restraint, and honestly, the physics on those tits when you finally pull her top down are better than they have any right to be. One minute you're adjusting the spreader bar, the next you're lining up an anal creampie and she's arching her back like she's been starving for it. The loop resets, and you do it again. And again.

Why? Because the game knows exactly what it is. A quick, dirty, one-handed session where the bondage mechanics are just clicking and dragging but the feedback is immediate. Her eyes roll back. The rope creaks. The camera zooms in on the exact moment your cum drips out of her ass. There's no story, no character development, just a blonde with big tits and a bigger appetite for punishment. You can switch positions, adjust the tightness of the knots, and if you leave her tied too long she starts squirming in a way that's either desperate or delighted, hard to tell. Probably both.

Top three moments you'll want to screenshot: the first time the gag goes in and she tries to talk around it, the exact frame where the anal creampie animation loops and you see the mess you made, and the moment she finally stops struggling and just... waits. That last one is the reason you'll come back. Not because it's polished, but because it's unpolished in the right ways. The UI is clunky, the sound effects are stock, and sometimes the rope clips through her skin like it's made of paper. But who cares. You're not here for the rope physics. You're here to watch a big-titted blonde get absolutely wrecked, and on that front, the game delivers without a single apology.

The whole thing feels like someone mixed a church drama, a bad family reunion and a porn folder called “do not open” and then forgot to lock it. You’re this guy who crawled out from the underground life, literally and mentally, and now you walk into the holy capital where everyone smiles too wide and prays too loud. The Church runs everything, the Saint is on every wall, and every corner feels like you shouldn’t touch it but of course you kinda want to. There’s this inheritance from a mother you barely know, and the “key” is basically your own body, your blood, your name. It already feels wrong before anyone even takes off a dress. And then they start.

What I liked is how the erotic stuff doesn’t wait for you to understand the politics. You’re still trying to figure who is lying and who is just horny, and already a mature woman is pressing her huge tits against you, pretending it’s “just comfort” while her hand drifts to your crotch. You get those slow teasing scenes where she leans in with fake holy softness, whispering like in an ASMR ear licking video on YouTube, but the camera is busy watching her lips wrap around your cock instead of a mic. She gags a little, saliva running, eyes rolling up like she’s praying. There’s this one moment, you’re half dressed, she’s on her knees on a holy symbol carpet, and you can hear the church bells outside while she’s sucking you until your legs shake. It feels dirty in a nice way. Then again, the game sometimes spams those soft moans so much it’s like looping the same 5-second audio on Spotify, makes you want to mute and just watch.

The whole harem thing builds slowly, but not really “sweet”. You bump into women that were shaped by this holy war world: a big ass elf girl who should hate humans but still blushes when you grab her and push her against a stone wall, fingers digging into her ass while she gasps and pretends to resist. A devout Saint-like figure who lets you grope her under the robes because “God is watching anyway”. The CG looks like it’s AI generated half the time, faces a bit too smooth, sometimes hands look weird if you stare too long, but the bodies are pure filth in a good way: fat tits, big hips, thighs that trap your head while she rides you and you can’t decide if you want to breathe or just stay buried. There’s animation where you’re pounding into a woman from behind, her breasts swinging, your cum overflowing from her pussy in a messy creampie, and she still whispers some holy nonsense while her eyes are clearly gone with pleasure. The story keeps pretending it cares about truth and old races and all that, but the part stuck in my mind is something smaller: sitting in a quiet room, watching a girl masturbate because you told her you won’t touch her, only look. She bites her lip, fingers circling her clit, trying not to say your name. That voyeur vibe, the way the game lets you sit back and just listen to her wet sounds and shaky breathing, is honestly more intense than half the “epic” scenes. And the cheating, the role play, fucking someone’s “pure” wife on a church bench while she rides you slowly, terrified someone will walk in, it all builds this nice rotten sweetness where you’re never sure if you’re saving these women from the holy cage or just dragging them into something even worse.

Sometimes you just click and there's a tit. Not a drawing, not some anime nonsense, a real photo of a genuine human breast attached to a smiling woman. That's the whole deal with this lottery thing. Four of them in a row, wrong, wrong, oh wait there's a nipple, correct. My brain is basically a pachinko machine at this point but the balls are just horny.

The mechanic that isn't a mechanic is you hit a button and hope the algorithm loves you. I got three in a row and felt like a king, then bombed the fourth on a set of areolas that were statistically improbable to guess. The game remembers your streak for you, dangling that "5 correct = bonus set" like a carrot made of... well, boobs. Hate it. The photo quality varies wildly, like they grabbed these from a specific era of men's magazines I can't name but can definitely smell. The huge tits tag isn't lying, some of these are comical, physics-defying monuments that make the guess game aspect harder because I'm just staring into the abyss. The smaller ones are a palate cleanser, almost clinical, easier to match to their face. I don't know.

There's no sound. My own breathing is too loud. The UI is the color of a default Windows form and a button that just says TRY. It's so aggressively unsexy that it loops back around to being perfect, like a sex ed filmstrip from 1993. I found myself genuinely irritated at a particular model's asymmetrical freckle that cost me my streak and I'm still thinking about it. That's the game. It rewires something stupid in your lizard brain from pure reward-loop frustration. Not even talking about the extra pictures, I earned one set and it was fine, whatever, it's not the point. The point is watching a counter reset and feeling actual loss over digital boobs while the same jpeg mocks you. It's a raw nerve of a product, zero fluff, pure uncut guessing-and-oogling. It won't respect your time, and honestly, neither do you.

I swear the elf was looking right at me through the screen. Not in a cute way, more like she knew I was touching myself and found it mildly pathetic. That's the kind of unpolished magic this game has. It's a parody, a mess of Konosuba characters thrown into a supernatural murder mystery, and half the time I'm thinking about choreographing a burlesque number where I'm Darkness, all flustered and pretending to be shocked while my pasties barely stay on. The game doesn't care about being smooth. It's 2D and 3D art smashed together like a drunk one night stand, and somehow that jank is what makes it hot.

The peeping scenes are where it gets truly ridiculous. You're Kazuma, basically, and you're hiding behind a door watching Aqua get railed by some huge cock, or maybe it's Megumin experimenting with a tentacle that just happens to be there. Don't ask. The dialogue is so stupid it circles back to being genius. "I'm an arch priestess, I shouldn't be doing this!" she moans, while a glob of something white drips down her chin. I literally laughed and then went back to rubbing one out. It's a visual novel so your choices matter, supposedly leading to romance or a harem or just being a cuck, which the game calls "netorare" like it's a fancy wine. The corruption of the teacher character, the stepmom fantasy, the random elf with tits bigger than her head. It's all there, no apologies.

But the mystery plot. What the fuck even is that? Someone died, I think? There's a police uniform and a husband who's probably being cheated on, and I'm supposed to care while Wiz gives me a titfuck that's animated with three frames total. It's a supernatural society, hidden in plain sight, and my ex girlfriend is dead, and I just... I can't. The game wants to be a detective story but it keeps shoving a big ass in my face. And honestly? That's the review. It's a mess. A glorious, horny, badly translated mess where you can be a male or female protagonist and still end up in a lesbian scene with Luna because logic died with Lisa Harrison. The replayability is just seeing how many holes you can fill, literally. I'm giving it the "Best Use of a Goddess as a Cum Dumpster" award. The jank is the feature. Don't play it for the plot. Play it because you want to see a ninja get groped by a tentacle while you're supposed to be solving a murder. It's cheaper than a lap dance and twice as confusing.

This thing looks at first like normal summer romance. Young couple, college vibes, cute girl Mary who acts all shy but wears those tiny shorts that ride up her ass every time the camera moves, boyfriend Satoshi who is way too relaxed about everything. You arrive at this fancy resort with palm trees and pools and those stupid water slides nobody ever uses, and you think ok, this will just be sunshine, sex, and a little teasing. Then uncle Kendo walks in with that fake cool-uncle smile and it all starts feeling dirty in the best possible way. He stares at Mary a bit too long during dinner, jokes about how “his nephew is a lucky man” while his eyes are glued to her tits, and Satoshi just laughs it off like an idiot. There is this early scene where Mary is in a swimsuit talking with Kendo near the pool bar, and the camera keeps cutting to the way the bikini top is just a bit too tight, her nipples trying to poke through the fabric, and you know this guy is done for. I actually paused there and thought, yeah, she is not going back home the same girl.

The fun part is how slow and mean the corruption feels. It is not just Kendo jumping her out of nowhere. First you get that “harmless” shoulder massage in the spa, his fingers slipping too low along her back, almost touching the band of her bra, Mary biting her lip and looking around to see if anyone is watching. Then later there is a beach scene at night where he gives her a drink, says something about Satoshi going to sleep early, the screen goes quiet for a second, and the next CG is her sitting a little closer, her thighs touching his. No big red flag, no giant blinking sign saying “NTR NOW”, just small things, like her glancing at his crotch for half a second, or him “accidentally” brushing his hand over her ass when he stands up. It feels like watching a dam crack, tiny lines at first, then more and more until the water pushes through and everything collapses. And when it finally does, it is not gentle. There is a room scene where Mary is giving Kendo a handjob in the dark while Satoshi sleeps in the same suite behind a thin wall, and you hear these muffled wet sounds mixed with Kendo’s breathing getting heavier, her whispering “we have to be quiet” while pumping his cock faster. That one broke me a little. I wanted to punch him and jerk off at the same time.

Sex-wise, it goes from almost innocent to absolutely filthy without losing that weird romantic tension. At first Mary is just blushing when he stares at her cleavage, pulling her skirt down when he comments on her legs, but later you get her riding him in the hot spring, water splashing, her big tits bouncing while she tries to keep her voice low so the other guests will not hear. There is this amazing shot where his cock is buried inside her, they show the outline pressing against her stomach, and she whispers Satoshi’s name by mistake, then corrects herself and moans “Kendo-san” instead. It hits extra hard because earlier she was all “I love my boyfriend, I would never cheat” while hugging a pillow like an anime heroine. There is also one fucked up scene in the storage room, after she gets caught “accidentally” letting some guy grope her ass near the elevator. Kendo gets mad, pins her against the wall, hand over her mouth, and rams into her raw, creampie right there between boxes and cleaning tools, then pulls out and tells her to go back to Satoshi with his cum leaking from her pussy. The game keeps pretending there is maybe some kind of twisted love in all this, but honestly, half the time it just feels like Mary discovers she really likes being used and watched. And yeah, Satoshi stays mostly clueless, looking for her around the resort while she is on her knees under a table, taking Kendo’s cock down her throat during a “family” dinner. I forgot what point I wanted to make, but that moment when she wipes a bit of semen from the corner of her lips and smiles at her boyfriend like nothing happened, that stuck more in my brain than any final ending.