One minute you’re slamming your dick into the hottest girl in town, the next you’re waking up years later like “why the hell am I horny for a face I don’t even remember.” That’s the whole vibe here. You start as this regular dude who had one perfect filthy night with a walking sex fantasy, then her psycho dad snaps, everything goes to shit, and your life hits the reset button. Memory scrambled, body patched up, and all you’ve got left are these wet, messed up dreams of a girl riding you, her hair in your fists, your hands on her ass, her moans echoing like some kind of fucked-up lullaby you can’t place. It’s not subtle. The game doesn’t bother pretending it’s about anything else. Romance? Yeah. But it’s romance that actually shows you the blowjob under the table, the slow teasing handjob that stops right before you cum, the way she spits on your shaft and grins like she owns you and you kind of like that she does.

Then three girls show up at your door, all looking like the girl your cock remembers better than your brain. And they’re not just pretty. They’re trouble. Each one is a different flavor of “you probably shouldn’t, but you absolutely will.” One leans in way too close while pretending to be shy, brushing her lips on your ear while she “accidentally” rubs her tits on your arm. Another doesn’t even bother pretending, just throws her legs in your lap during a “family” movie night and starts grinding her feet lazily on your crotch like it’s some casual thing. She doesn’t stop when the others walk in. They just stare, and the room goes quiet in that kind of “ok, we’re really doing this” way. Later, when you’ve got one of them bent over the kitchen counter, panties around her knees, your hand on her throat, her ass already red from spanking, you realize the game actually lets you go that far. Not just fade-to-black. Full-on animated thrusts, the wet sound of your balls slapping, her begging you not to pull out while she clenches around you, knowing damn well what that means for her.

It pretends to be all sweet and slice-of-life sometimes. There are breakfast scenes where everyone’s trying to act normal and you’re just replaying the way you had your tongue buried between her legs a few hours earlier, sucking on her clit until she squirted all over your face. Then later you’re in the bathroom, jerking off into the sink because one of them left her panties on the towel rack, still damp from when she “couldn’t wait” and rubbed herself raw thinking about you fucking her sister. The choices hit harder than they first look. Say the wrong line, and the cute make-out on the couch turns into her on her knees, choking on your cock while tears stream down her cheeks, and you decide if you hold her head and go deep or pull back and kiss her instead. Push things along with one girl and she starts asking for rougher stuff, like you spitting in her mouth, pressing her face into the mattress while you go from her pussy to her ass and back again, dropping a messy creampie inside her and watching it leak. The corruption creeps in slow. One day she’s blushing when you see her naked, and a few scenes later she’s begging you to cum in her without protection because she wants to feel “owned,” her legs shaking while she milks you dry. It’s romantic in a really fucked-up, horny way. Kind of sweet, kind of violent, sometimes funny, sometimes actually dark, and always circling back to the same thing: your dick, their bodies, and all the wrong choices that feel way too good to stop.

Three words first: messy, hot, awkward. That’s basically the whole vibe of *My Waifu Wants To Become A Pornstar*, and honestly, that’s what makes it kinda addictive. It’s not trying to be elegant or deep, it’s just you running this janky casting studio full of anime girls who all somehow think they’re ready for fame even though half of them still blush when you ask them to take their top off. The game doesn’t wait around - suddenly you’re in a cheap-looking room with lighting that’s too bright, Valeria is pretending she’s confident but her voice cracks, and you have to decide whether to keep the camera rolling or comfort her. It’s uncomfortable in a strangely human way. Then it flips and throws you into something totally different - Mitsuri giggling while she teases you with that over-the-top “innocent but not really” energy that only she can pull off.

The management part is weirdly calming, like you forget you’re running what’s essentially a porn empire. You’re tweaking lighting, choosing props, trying to balance budget and mood, then bam - Power bursts in, demanding her own solo scene because she “doesn’t share the spotlight.” It’s chaotic. The animations sometimes look too clean, almost sterile, and then the next moment you’re watching Yor bend over a table in a way that looks way *too* natural. I caught myself laughing because the tone jumps around like a drunk editor stitched it all together overnight. The writing too - half the dialogue sounds like it was translated twice, but somehow that awkwardness makes it hotter. Like when Erza tries to sound professional but keeps slipping into dirty talk mid-sentence, or when Nami negotiates her “rates” while she’s already undressing. There’s something raw about that imperfection.

I hate how the game crashes after long shoots, but I still keep reopening it, like a guilty habit. It’s dumb, but it knows it’s dumb. There’s power in that. Even Yin’s soft-spoken lines hit harder because they feel like she’s figuring herself out while you’re figuring out how to run this ridiculous operation. It’s messy, hot, awkward - still those three words, but now they feel earned.

Horny superheroes plus school drama, that’s basically the vibe here, only with way more monster thighs and way less common sense. You start as this poor bastard with no powers in a world where everyone flexes their “gifts,” and for a while it almost feels like a normal hero academy story. Classes, dorms, training fights, the usual anime bullshit. Then some very not-human girl with claws and tits that would break a chiropractor corners you after a combat lesson and suddenly the game remembers it’s porn first, shonen second. The fun part is that your “ability” isn’t just some shiny attack, it twists how scenes play out. One playthrough I used it to totally wreck a monster girl in a training match, next time I half-assed the fight and let her pin me, and surprise, different dialogue, different way she decides to “punish” you with her tail wrapped around your neck while she milks you with both hands. Nobody in this school follows safety rules. Bless them.

Combat is turn based and honestly I expected to hate it, but it kinda works. You throw skills, manage some basic resources, watch the animated moves and then, if you win or fuck up hard enough, you get sex scenes glued to the end like a very horny reward screen. There’s this one mission where you patrol the campus at night and bump into a lamia girl in a torn school uniform trying to “test your stamina.” If you play it smart you can drag the fight close to a wall and she literally coils you there, oral first, then she lines you up and you get this slow, messy vaginal scene that shifts into double penetration with her tail sliding in. On mobile it runs smooth on Chrome, but the UI sometimes covers half her ass and I’m still irrationally mad about that. The moans are fully voiced, which is surprisingly hot and occasionally annoying when one girl repeats the same high-pitched line during a long creampie loop. I say that like I didn’t replay that same loop three times in a row.

Outside the battles you wander around campus and town in that loose sandbox style, poking at events until something lewd triggers. Morning you’re pretending to be serious hero material in uniform, evening you’re balls deep in a busty monster teacher who promises “extra credit” while using her tentacle-like hair to keep your hands pinned and ride you stupid. The school setting gives just enough structure that it feels like a world instead of a menu, but the game also loves to waste your time with small talk before letting you touch anything. At one point I spent ten minutes in a classroom scene just for a handjob under the desk while the teacher talks about ethics of using powers, and honestly, that was the moment I knew the dev gets what BDSM people like: tension, risk, the feeling you really should not be doing this while you’re already leaking on her palm. It is not perfect. The superpowers could be pushed harder into corruption or control, and some characters feel like background noise with big tits, but then one of them drops to her knees in the locker room, takes you deep, keeps eye contact, swallows, and you forget what you wanted to complain about. There are worse kinds of mind control than that.

This thing feels like a horny side project some bored nerd coded after rereading the books, and honestly that’s part of the charm and part of the problem. You play as a male student around the year 2000 at Hogwarts, with Voldemort’s corruption kind of soaking into everyone’s brain, especially the usual redhead and bookworm. It doesn’t pretend to be tasteful. You push Ginny and Hermione from “proper schoolgirls” into straight up cock-hungry toys, and the game barely tries to hide that you are abusing power and mind control to do it. At first they act shy, stiff, very “this is not right”, and you basically keep poking at their limits until they break. For example, there is a moment where Hermione finally stops fighting you during a “study session”, just kneels between your legs and starts sucking while still pretending she is doing you a favor “for research”. That little shift of her speech, from righteous to almost begging you to use her mouth, is way more erotic than the actual blowjob art, which is honestly pretty rough. The dev already warned about bad images and they were not joking. Tits look weird sometimes, faces are stiff, and anal scenes can look like two cardboard cutouts trying to fuck. But then, in some scenes, like when Ginny is pressed against a window, skirt up, tits showing to the outside, you suddenly hit a frame that feels dirty in the right way, with her cheeks flushed and eyes a bit empty from the corruption. It is inconsistent as hell. That inconsistency actually matches the writing vibe, though. Some dialogues are cringy fanfic trash, like lines ripped from a bad Wattpad story, then other times Hermione snaps back at you with this sharp, bratty attitude that feels very on character before you drag her down into submission. One moment you’re going through the usual “train the girl, unlock the next pose” routine, next moment the game throws a group sex scene where Ginny is on your dick, Hermione is licking your balls, and the text casually describes how they compete for your cum like they’re arguing over who gets to answer a question first in class. It leans hard into male domination and corruption; there is no pretense of romance. You mind control them, turn them into little exhibitionist sluts, walk them through corridors half dressed, make them stroke you under the table, shoot creampies in every hole and the story just shrugs like “yeah, dark magic, whatever”. From ethical side, the monetization feels a bit weird in a funny way. The dev keeps reminding you it is free, “finished”, and if someone nukes it for copyright they don’t care, then in the same breath there is the Patreon line like a little tip jar on a pirate ship. But at least there is no nickel and diming inside the game. No paid gallery unlock, no premium outfits, no “pay to skip grind” bullshit. Grind is just there, boring as hell at the beginning, and you either deal with it or close the tab. I kind of respect that and also hate it, especially when you are spamming the same simple action just to move Hermione from handjob tier to full anal and vaginal content. I had a podcast running on Spotify in the background while clicking through the early grind, because the game’s own sound is basically non-existent or forgettable. No sexy moans worth mentioning, no proper soundtrack to set the mood, just silence or generic noise that makes you tab out without thinking. Weirdly, that made it feel more like some dirty secret mini app on my second monitor while I checked Telegram or scrolled Twitter. It feels like something you sneak, not something you proudly full screen and enjoy like a polished porn VN. And that fits what it is: rough code, rough art, dirty fantasy about breaking two very famous witches until they love the taste of your cum.

Arcadia feels like somebody took a comfy childhood cartoon, ripped all the safety rails off, and then just let the horny part of the brain drive. You start as this regular guy who clearly did not sign up for “magical pony-furry-harem chaos,” and ten minutes later you’re trying to pretend you still care about plot while a busty unicorn girl is basically using your face like it’s her personal seat. The whole thing is this mix of bright cute fantasy and really filthy stuff that kinda sneaks up on you, then doesn’t stop. One moment you’re chatting with a shy pastel pony girl, she’s fidgeting, ears twitching, all nervous, and the next she’s pushing her huge tits together around your cock, giving you a titfuck like she’s been waiting years for this. It’s weird how the game makes that feel cozy and dirty at the same time. The sound design actually helps a lot: soft moans, gentle breathing, those little wet sounds when you slide in for a creampie. It’s not crazy detailed, but it hits that ASMR brain tingling where you feel it in your neck and chest, especially when a girl is whispering some needy shit while grinding on you.

The transformation stuff is honestly what stuck in my head the most, more than all the usual oral and anal scenes. There’s this moment where one of the pony girls starts changing while she’s riding you, horns glowing, body shifting into a thicker, more mature version of herself, tits swelling, hips widening. It’s like watching a lewd evolution animation, except you’re inside her the whole time, and she starts lactating mid-ride, warm milk dripping on your chest while she begs you not to pull out. It’s ridiculous and hot and kinda too much, in a good way. Or not good, depending on your taste, but my brain was like “yeah ok we live here now.” The way they handle lactation is very “in your face” too. One cow-like monster girl literally grabs your hands and forces you to knead her heavy breasts while milk squirts and she’s sucking you off at the same time. You hear the swallow, the little gasp when she takes you too deep, then she pulls back with that messy grin and you’re already edging. Sometimes the pacing is off and scenes feel like they skip a beat, especially in group sex moments where suddenly there’s an extra body on your cock and you’re not sure when she joined, but by that point you’re just counting how many holes are filled, not doing logic.

The parody angle is funny because they pretend it’s about “harmony” and “friendship” while your so-called harmony is just you building a harem of horny monster girls and pony babes who all somehow think sharing your dick is the highest form of peace treaty. You get lesbian scenes where two fluffy girls are making out on top of you, trading your cum between their mouths after a blowjob, then lining up for vaginal sex like it’s a turn-based game, except nothing is turn-based and you’re just hanging on. There’s a group scene later where one girl sits on your face, another rides your cock, and a third is behind her playing with her ass till she convinces you to go anal, and the game really leans into the sensation change, the tighter squeeze, the deeper moans. Honestly the mobile format makes it worse because it’s too easy to just “one more scene” yourself while you’re scrolling on the bed, swiping through options, getting dragged into another creampie chain. Sometimes it looks a bit silly, sometimes the dialogue is cheesy as hell, but that mix of cute pastel fantasy, thick tits, sloppy oral, and playful monster girl energy hits in a way that’s oddly relaxing and filthy at the same time, like horny ASMR with hooves and halos and way too much milk.

Look, I'm not gonna pretend this isn't weird as hell but here we are - playing as Lincoln in what's basically a hornified version of The Loud House where everyone's aged up and ready to get freaky. The premise is simple enough: you're hunting for panties (classy, right?) but it spirals into this whole corruption fest with his sisters, mom, and basically every female character from Royal Woods. Yeah, I know how that sounds but stick with me here. The mind control elements kick in pretty quick and suddenly you're not just collecting underwear anymore - you're orchestrating a full-blown harem situation that would make even the most degenerate anime blush.

What caught me off guard is how the corruption mechanics actually work decently well for what it is. Each character has their own resistance levels and you gotta work different angles to break them down - some respond to teasing, others need more direct approaches involving handjobs, oral, or straight-up penetration. The MILF content with Rita is surprisingly detailed, and when you finally get to the anal scenes with some of the older sisters... damn. The creampie animations aren't half-bad either, though the whole school setting feels kinda thrown in there just because. Mobile optimization means you can play this degeneracy anywhere which is both convenient and concerning. I spent way too long trying to unlock all the scenes because my completionist brain won't let me quit until I've seen every possible corruption path.

The parody elements are hit or miss - sometimes the references land perfectly and other times it feels like they're trying too hard to be edgy. But when you're balls deep in Rita while Lisa calculates optimal thrust angles in the background, you realize this game knows exactly what kind of trash it is and embraces it completely. The vaginal sex scenes with the older sisters get pretty intense, especially once the mind control really takes hold and they start begging for more. Fair warning though - the pacing can be frustrating when you're just trying to speedrun to the good stuff.

Mid-20th century Europe, guy fresh out of uni, totally lost, and suddenly he is in some fake-Italy place flirting with revolution and fox tits. That is basically the vibe. You start as Ryunosuke, this Japanese dude who has no clue what he wants in life, except he knows he wants something different and, very quickly, something thick. Stivale looks nice at first, old stone streets, political posters peeling off walls, people angry about some chancellor’s bullshit, and then boom, fox-eared warrior girl with a sword in your face and a rack so big your brain just gives up. Serena shows up like “Who are you and why are you in my country,” and five minutes later she is pinning you to a wall, collar half open, tail swishing, threatening to gut you while low-key eye-fucking you. The game just goes straight into this mix of serious war scars and horny teasing, and it works way better than it should.

The whole adventure thing creeps in slowly, between the porn. One scene you are dodging soldiers in turn-based fights, the next you’re hiding in a ruined barn where she makes you jerk off because “we need to relax before the next battle.” She watches, ears twitching, licking her lips when you go faster, calling you “good boy” in this soft Japanese voice that feels way too intimate, then suddenly she slaps your hand away and uses her tits instead, trapping your cock between them, spitting a little, whispering how she wants to be filled while the artillery rumbles outside. It is horny, but also oddly sad, like everyone here is a bit broken and just using sex as a breather between traumas. Then again, one hour later she is riding you in some half-collapsed chapel with stained glass over your naked asses, so the game is not pretending to be deep or anything. There is a bunch of different monster girls that join your crew, each with their own way of being absolute degenerates. A big-ass cow girl who starts leaking milk when she gets too turned on and begs you to suck it out so she can “focus on the mission.” A prim-looking mage who seems all romance and soft kisses, until she locks you in magical chains and tests how many times you can cum by just using her mouth and a single finger playing with your ass. Sometimes the group sex scenes come right after heavy story beats, like someone gets betrayed, and five minutes later you are in a smoky hideout getting your dick sucked while another girl grinds on your face, and somehow it fits the tone. War is hell, but also, apparently, one long orgy.

What actually surprised me is how much control you weirdly have over the relationships, considering how horny the whole thing is. You can lean more into the romance with Serena, where she is shy the first time you go vaginal and clings like a virgin who pretends she is fine but clearly is not, then next route she is cheating on you in a dirty alley with a monster ally while staring at you, making you watch as the other guy fills her and she squeezes his cum out with her fingers and smears it on your lips. There are quiet campfire nights where she lets you rest your head on her lap and you just grope her tits slowly while she hums, and there are drunk scenes where she orders you to lick her thighs clean after she pees herself laughing too hard, which is… yeah, that is a whole menu of kinks right there. The combat bits between all this are like snack breaks: simple turn-based fights, a bit of strategy, some leveling, and mostly an excuse to unlock scenes where losing means getting used by enemy monsters, or winning lets you fuck them into your army. Different endings depend on who you creampie, who you knock up, who you treat like a lover or just a toy. Some paths end with a kind of bittersweet “we saved the country but ruined ourselves” mood, others are basically “everyone pregnant, everything on fire, but hey, we are happy.” The voice work is honestly what sells the filth: Serena moaning in Japanese while calling your name, little gasps when you go anal for the first time, the shaky breath right before she begs you to cum inside. It sounds messy, human, sometimes awkward, and that makes it way hotter than some clean, robotic porn loop. The only thing that pissed me off is that one lingerie outfit she has in a late scene looks ugly as hell and you are forced to stare at it during a really good titfuck. I still think about that. Anyway, the game just keeps mixing politics, monsters, and sex in this weird cocktail that should not work but somehow does.

The whole thing starts like you just faceplanted out of a hentai fever dream. One second you’re knocked out, next second you’re in this cheap-looking room that somehow feels too clean, pants tented, head foggy, with a catgirl staring at you like you’re her new chew toy. Not a soft, shy catgirl either. She’s got that “I’ve watched way too much porn and I’m bored of you already” face, tail flicking, ears twitching every time you swallow. The way she climbs on the bed, knees on each side of your hips, is lazy and confident, like she’s already decided your dick is public property. And behind her there’s this little robot thing, just floating around, recording everything, beeping when your heart rate spikes, changing the lights when her hand starts stroking you through your shorts. It feels like someone took a regular horny isekai setup, threw it in a blender with a camgirl studio and a cheap sci-fi horror VN, then forgot to smooth it out. Which is perfect. The rough edges make the sex scenes feel more dirty, less polished, like you’re watching leaked tapes from a lab that definitely doesn’t have ethics approval.

The sound is where I got stuck way too long. That little wet click whenever she pushes her tongue deeper during a blowjob, the sloppy gulp when she forces herself to swallow even though she’s clearly overfilled, the sharp smack echo when your hand lands on her ass. You can tell they layered those moans on top of each other, so when she rides you, you get this messy chorus of gasps and choked whimpers and that stupid porn ahegao squeal. In my headphones it felt almost wrong, like the audio was too close, like she was breathing in my ear while you hold her hips and watch her tits bounce, milk starting to leak as she grinds faster. The robot actually reacts to it, by the way. When she starts squirting all over you during a rough titfuck that turns into a full-on creampie, its little screen shows heart icons and weird graphs, like it’s measuring your “performance.” It should be cringe, but somehow it just made the whole thing kinkier, like the game is grading how hard you ruin her. The soundtrack underneath is this low, pulsing synth line with random dissonant notes, almost like some underground vaporwave track that never got released. It doesn’t try to be epic. It just hums under the skin of the scene, especially when you edge her and pull out right when she’s about to collapse, leaving her shaking, lips open, begging you to put it back in. That mix of clinical beeps, slick skin noises and thirsty moans sticks in your brain longer than any pretty rendered elf.

Then the childhood friend shows up and everything goes sideways in a good way and also not. She’s got short hair, dark skin with those sharp tanlines that scream “I spent all summer outdoors beating people up,” and she acts like your personal wrestling heel. One minute she’s pinning you to the floor, laughing, legs clamped tight around your waist, the next she’s grinding on you just a little too long, face way too close, cheeks flushing when she realizes you’re hard under her. You get that typical “we used to be innocent” vibe for about two seconds before the game throws her into a humiliation scene where the catgirl makes her watch you fuck, teasing her for being a late virgin, telling her monsters would have broken her hymen already if you weren’t so slow. The way the music drops out there and you just hear her shaky breathing, then the slap of skin when she finally gives in and starts touching herself, is way hotter than it has any right to be. Sometimes it leans too hard into the slavery and domination deal, like you’re playing some half-finished BDSM sandbox, juggling a future harem of monster girls, elves in cosplay, and this poor wrestling girl who has no idea she’s already lost. But then there’ll be this tiny moment, like the robot zooming in on a single tear sliding down her cheek while you’re fucking her from behind for the first time, or that first messy pregnant sex scene where her belly bumps against your stomach and her tits are dripping milk on your chest, and the audio goes almost silent except for your breathing mixing together. It feels uncomfortably intimate, like you shouldn’t be allowed to hear it. Then the game throws you back into voyeur mode, watching them lick each other, domme-on-lez action on a lab table, catgirl sitting on her face, your cum leaking out of her still-stretched pussy, and that slow, dirty bass kicks back in, looping like a porn track you forgot to pause. Yeah. It’s messy. It’s wrong. And I still keep a private folder of those scene recordings on my phone like a degenerate.

You’re basically playing a horny alternate season of Sword Art Online where everything went sideways in the pettiest, dirtiest way possible. You’re the usual male protagonist, chill life, VR headset on, raiding with your cute swordswoman girlfriend who is so blatantly “not Asuna” that it actually wraps around and becomes Asuna again. She’s got that perfect anime milf-but-still-student vibe going on: big tits stuffed into this half-practical, half-fanservice armor, skirt that does nothing, ass that jiggles more than the actual UI. In the real world she’s your devoted girl, in-game she’s your personal healer and sword buddy, and for like the first minutes everything is soft and comfy. Dates after class, logging in together, she holds your arm in public but the real fun is when she sits on your lap in VR and the camera just sort of “forgets” where to look. The dev clearly likes voyeurism, because the game keeps letting your POV hang in these slightly wrong angles, like it wants you to feel a bit creepy even when she’s just teasing you with a handjob between matches.

Then Inoda shows up. On paper he’s pathetic: some weird dude with a busted “stealth” skill that makes his avatar weak as hell in this turn based combat system. He looks like background character #54, the one who gets one line and dies to a slime. But because his ability is all about not being seen, the story abuses that in the dirtiest way possible. Slowly he slides from “guy you’re helping grind levels” into “shadow stuck to your relationship”. You run dungeons with him, he whiffs attacks, you think he’s harmless. Meanwhile the camera lingers on your girlfriend’s ass every time she bends over to explain something to him. Little touches. Her boobs brush his arm in a crowded corridor. He “accidentally” lands on top of her in a monster fight, the ragdoll animation holds just a little too long, and the game pretends it’s all comedy while her face flashes that one frame of embarrassed arousal. That’s when you realize this is a netorare story pretending to be a normal adventure for like five minutes.

The porn itself hits way harder because of that slow burn. You get all the classic stuff: oral under the desk in the school clubroom after playing, her swallowing with this shy smile like “don’t tell anyone”, you pounding her on the bed after a raid while she’s still half in her gear, creampie closeups with way too much detail on how her pussy twitches around you. The animation is pretty stiff in spots, but the facial work carries it. There’s this one scene where she’s giving you a blowjob on the couch, and your phone buzzes with a message from Inoda, and her eyes flick from your face to the phone, and you feel this tiny crack in the mood. Not much, just a little. Later when you catch her in the alley behind the arcade pressed against a wall, skirt hitched up, Inoda’s hand buried under her panties, finger deep inside her while she tries not to moan too loud because people are walking past, that crack is already a canyon. The game loves exhibitionism, so it keeps pushing this “almost caught” angle: classroom after hours with her straddling you, locker room groping where the other girls are just off-screen, a monster ambush where she gets pinned, tentacle-like limbs pulling at her armor while Inoda watches from stealth and your POV shakes between fury and arousal.

Honestly the wildest part is how it keeps cutting back to the VR combat like nothing is wrong. One minute you’re choosing skills in a turn based boss fight, the next she’s kneeling between Inoda’s legs in some hidden room, stroking him off with that same hand she used to heal you, drool and cum dripping down her chin, saying things she never said to you. The cheating hits extra dirty because half the time you’re literally in the same game world, just in the wrong place, while he fucks her from behind, her big ass slapping against his hips, her moans echoing in the same dungeon you thought belonged to just you and her. It starts looking like a normal anime VN and ends up feeling like the game itself is joining in on the NTR, quietly rooting for the other guy while you sit there, controller in hand, pretending you’re still the main character.