The orc girl costs 40 gold and her stats are terrible but she does this thing where her tongue splits. Not like a lizard, more like a wet fork. Watched that animation loop maybe twenty times before I realized my income had tanked because nobody was working the streets. The brothel sat empty. Classic.

This is basically Excel with nipples. You start with one elf who looks perpetually confused and you send her to stand under a streetlamp. Money trickles in. You buy a second girl, maybe a catgirl if you’re boring, then a third, and suddenly you’re juggling stamina bars and upgrade paths like some kind of degenerate logistics coordinator. The sim part is honestly more involved than the lewd part, which is backwards from what you’d expect. The blowjob animations unlock early and they’re fine, I guess, but the real dopamine hit is when you finally afford the “royal suite” upgrade and your earnings per minute jump by 15%. That’s the actual porn here. Spreadsheets getting fucked.

Economy breaks around midgame if you focus on the dark elf and ignore everything else. She generates so much passive income that the whole management layer collapses into a waiting game. I spent twenty minutes just clicking “collect” while staring at her portrait, which is detailed but weirdly proportioned, like someone traced a doujin cover from memory. The RPG tag is a lie, there’s no roleplaying, no story, just numbers going up and clothes coming off in that specific order. You’re not a pimp, you’re an accountant with a sex dungeon. And yet. And yet I optimized that dungeon for three straight sessions before remembering I could have just watched actual hentai instead of grinding for the privilege. The fantasy tag doing a lot of heavy lifting here, mostly in the “fantasy of owning property” sense.

You know what I respect? A game that doesn't pretend. Hentai High School loads up and immediately you're this teacher guy, first day, and the UI looks like it was assembled by someone who learned coding from a fever dream. Buttons are just... there. The font choices are a war crime. And somehow I kept clicking.

The core loop is basically walk around this school between classes, bump into students, and try to seduce them. There's this skill system that's about as deep as a puddle. You click to improve your charm or whatever, numbers go up, and suddenly the girl with the purple hair who hated you five minutes ago is ready to fuck in the supply closet. Makes sense. Realistic career progression honestly.

The dialogue is something else. One student asked me for help with homework and three clicks later she's bent over a desk. No buildup, no romance, just pure id-driven nonsense. The management part is barely there, you just sort of exist in this space and things happen. I wish the map was less confusing but it won't be fixed. The RPG elements are just stat checks that determine if you get the explicit scene or a generic rejection. Failed a check with the librarian and she just stared at me. Brutal.

The scenes themselves are uncensored and honestly not bad if you're into the whole "every woman in this building is inexplicably horny for the new teacher" thing. Which I am. Obviously. The art style is inconsistent, some characters look detailed and others look like they were drawn during an earthquake. But the sound design? There isn't any. Just silence while you click through moaning text. Peak immersion. Mrs. Henderson from the math department has no right being that flexible and yet here we are. The student council president keeps scheduling "private meetings" and I'm not even pretending to be a real educator anymore. What was I talking about? Right, the game. It's a mess. I played it for two hours straight.

Grondes is back from whatever mess happened with Eriddini Deepforged and she's got a pub. Not just any pub, her dead granddad's place, and the first thing she does is decide nah, this isn't a pub anymore. It's a brothel now. The pixel art is rough, like someone made it in MS Paint while distracted, and the sex scenes? There are no images. Literally none. The devs straight up admit they can't draw and are begging for an illustrator in the game's description. Bold move.

The whole thing runs on arrow keys and Z to confirm, X to cancel. You're managing this dive bar turned whorehouse, fixing broken floorboards, upgrading to a dance floor because apparently that's what high class means in Brugeria. There's a cheat chest with 2500 gold and 100 beer just sitting there, which I obviously used because grinding repairs without it felt like watching paint dry. Clients shuffle in between 7 and 20, and you can offer sex services right away. Hired one waitress after patching up the walls. She wants daily pay. The nerve.

The menu system is a mess. Press Esc when you're doing nothing to access it, which took me an embarrassing amount of clicking to figure out. Sound levels are adjustable in options, but the music loops are so short I turned that off fast. There's supposed to be bandit encounters coming, monthly taxes, debt penalties that game over you, more workers, bathroom upgrades, a love story with some childhood friend named Saron. None of that's in yet. What's here is a skeleton of a brothel sim with placeholder everything and a weird charm that comes from two guys who clearly love RPGs but can't draw tits to save their lives. The Patreon link is right there if you want to fund their art crisis.