The whole thing feels like someone ripped a flash game from 2007 and slapped a League skin on it. You get Sona and Poppy, but not in any way that makes sense. The summoner is there, I guess, doing whatever summoners do in these fever dream parodies. The quiz is the gatekeeper, and it’s so stupidly easy it’s almost insulting. Questions about lore nobody cares about, just busywork before the pixelated payoff.

And that payoff. One animation. That’s it. You answer five braindead questions and you get a loop of rough, hard sex that looks like it was animated by someone learning the software for the first time. Poppy’s scene has this weird stiffness to it, like her joints don’t bend right. The oral part is there, technically, but it’s so janky I laughed instead of anything else. Sona’s is slightly better, if you’re into that specific brand of unpolished desperation. The sound design is a crime. Just a wet slapping noise on repeat that doesn’t sync with anything. I’ve heard better audio on those scammy mobile game ads.

I keep thinking about the color palette. It’s all muddy browns and greens, like the whole thing takes place in a swamp. Which, for a medieval journey, maybe that’s the point. But it makes the skin tones look sickly. There’s a moment in Poppy’s animation where her expression is supposed to change, I think, but it just glitches out and resets. I replayed it three times to see if it was a bug. It’s not. It’s a feature. The whole thing is so barebones it’s almost charming, like finding a crumpled drawing in a teenager’s notebook. You know exactly what they were going for, and the failure is the only interesting part. The replayability is zero unless you have a fetish for broken quiz games. Which, no judgment, but maybe just go scroll Twitter instead.