ok so hear me out, right? i was on itch like two nights ago just doomscrolling through the tags, the usual mix of "sexy furry girls" and "queens blade" vibes, and i found this thing. the rising of the shield hero, but not like the anime, it's by niicri, so you already know the drill if you've touched their stuff before. it's that specific kind of jank that loops around to being hypnotic.

the raphtalia model is the main thing, obviously. but here's the part i got stuck on for like fifteen minutes, no joke. there's this "see through" toggle for her armor, right? standard stuff. but the way the cloth physics don't quite reset properly when you toggle it off and on again, it creates this weird visual glitch where the fabric gets stuck halfway. it's not intentional, it's totally broken, but it ends up looking like this perfect wet t-shirt contest effect that the actual game never intended. that's the kind of unpolished gold i live for. pure accident. i spent way too long trying to replicate it with different poses. couldn't. it's a ghost in the machine.

the pov creampie scenes are there and they do the x-ray thing, which i'm a total sucker for, but the ui to get there is so counter-intuitive. you basically have to click through three menus that all look the same, and half the time i ended up back at the title screen. don't even get me started on the audio, or lack of it. i had a podcast about crypto scams playing in the background and it weirdly fit the vibe.

anyway, the whole thing feels like someone's private mod project that escaped onto the internet. the tanuki ears clip through every single helmet. every single one. i wish there was a way to just lock the armor state to that glitched halfway point i found, but that'll never get patched. it's a snapshot of a moment in horny game dev history.

The voice work for Himiko Toga is... unsettlingly good. Not in a horror way, but the actress really leaned into that breathy, unhinged giggle between lines. You're sitting there, supposed to be the big shot director for WaifuHub, and she's asking if you think she's pretty while the mic picks up every wet little sound. I had to actually pause and check if my headphones were leaking audio. The whole setup is you're casting these characters for adult films, right? Standard stuff. But the audio mixing is all over the place. Some scenes, like with Raphtalia, her voice is so soft you're cranking the volume, then Android 18's scene kicks in and her deadpan "Is that all you've got?" nearly blew out my eardrums. A simple volume normalizer would be a blessing.

The animation loops are what you'd expect from a mobile game, a bit stiff, but the ahegao expressions on characters like Ochako Uraraka are surprisingly detailed. Her eyes rolling back while she's struggling with the, uh, interview process. There's a weird moment with Lucoa where her dragon horns just clip right through the casting couch. Completely took me out of it. You'd think a being of her power could avoid basic collision bugs. The game throws a lot of characters at you from Prison School's Meiko to Dexters Mom, which is a pull I didn't expect. The male protagonist is a silent self-insert, which is fine, but his grunts sound like a stock sound effect from a 2005 flash game. It's jarring against Mitsuki Bakugou's genuinely intense performance.

Cheelai's scene has this filter over her voice that makes it sound like she's in a tin can. I get she's an alien, but come on. The oral sex animations have this one frame where the character's jaw unhinges like a snake. It's supposed to be deepthroating but it looks like a medical diagram. Then Hestia's scene starts and her voice actress is putting in work, all high-pitched and desperate, and I forget about the jank for a minute. The big tits physics are dialed up to absurdity, especially on Meiko, they move with a mind of their own, lagging behind the actual animation by a full second. If they ever add a DLC, they need to hire whoever voiced Raven to do more. Her bored, monotone delivery while describing exactly what she's going to do is more effective than all the overacted moaning from the Dragon Ball girls combined. Wait, I didn't even mention Zelda's scene. The princess has this regal tone that cracks perfectly. Forget it, the game's a mess but the sound design, when it hits, is the whole point.

You’re the guy with the couch, the camera, and absolutely zero shame, stuck in this weird sweet spot between casting director and horny gremlin. That’s the whole vibe here: you’re not saving the world, you’re trying to convince Raphtalia and Mina and Lucoa and the rest to suck your dick on camera. No fake “deep” story, just you in a cheap studio, throwing out bullshit lines, watching anime waifus go from “this is just an interview” to sloppy ahegao and big tits bouncing on your lap. The game knows exactly what it is. It doesn’t pretend. You click, you talk, you push, the dialogue gets dirtier, the clothes fall, and suddenly that “professional” interview is just you buried between thick thighs while she moans way too loud for that tiny room. One minute you’re chatting with Meiko like it’s another episode of Prison School, next minute she’s choking on your big cock and smearing lipstick on her own boobs. It’s trashy, but the good kind of trashy, like when you open a new incognito tab even though the old one is still fine.

What sells it is how each girl actually feels like her own flavor of wrong. Lucoa acts all chill and teasey, like she already knows she’s got the biggest ass in the building and she’s just waiting for you to notice. Mina from My Hero is this hyperactive pink slut who pretends she’s shy about porn, then five lines later she’s riding you raw, tongue out, eyes rolled back, full ahegao like she just unlocked a new Quirk called “cock addiction.” Galko shows up with those huge tits and that casual gyaru energy, doing that “oh wow, it’s kinda big” routine while she’s already jerking you off under the desk. Cheelai gives you that DBZ alien brat attitude, talking shit until you grab her by the hips and she suddenly forgets how to be smug. Then there’s 2B, playing the whole stoic android thing, but with her mouth full of your dick, it’s hard to take her “mission” speech serious. Vaginal, oral, messy auditions, cum on faces, cum on tits, cum inside, big ass shots that eat the whole screen, the usual good sins. The art is simple but hits the fetish points: tight outfits ripped open, panties pushed aside, tongues out, spit strings, wet thighs, camera angles that just shamelessly zoom in on pussy and ass like a horny cameraman getting fired tomorrow. It feels kinda scuffed, kinda cheap, like some cursed Pornhub side project made by a fan who knows these series too well, and that’s honestly what makes it hot. You’re not here for polish. You’re here to make waifus fail a “normal job interview” in the dirtiest way possible and hit replay when they call you “director” while they swallow.