I almost closed the tab when I saw Claudia Schiffer's name attached. Like, what timeline is this. Some weird celebrity porn flashback from the dial-up era where you'd download a single jpeg and call it a night. But here we are, and honestly the whole thing has this unpolished, almost found-footage energy that's hard to look away from. The animation is stiff in that particular way where limbs don't quite bend at joints but rather somewhere in the middle of the bone. It's wrong. I kept watching anyway.

The setup is Claudia telling her friend about landing some contract, which is the flimsiest excuse for a blowjob scene I've encountered this month. The limo sequence is where things get properly unhinged. The physics engine, if you can call it that, gives her this bobblehead motion during the act that's equal parts hypnotic and deeply unsettling. The blonde hair clips through her shoulders constantly. At one point the camera angle shifts to this bizarre overhead view that makes zero spatial sense given they're supposedly in a vehicle. The bathroom scene later has tile textures that look like they were photographed off a real bathroom wall in 2003 and stretched wrong. I'm not complaining.

What sticks with me is how the dialogue keeps circling back to the contract like that's what anyone's thinking about. She's describing the logistics of this professional arrangement while the model's expression stays frozen in this half-lidded stare that reads as either arousal or mild food poisoning. The sohos tag apparently refers to the locations, which I figured out only after the third scene transition confused me entirely. The humor here is mostly unintentional but it lands. The whole thing feels like someone animated a very specific fantasy and then deliberately left all the rough edges in as some kind of aesthetic choice. Or maybe they just didn't care. Both possibilities intrigue me.

I nominate this for Best Use of a Limo That's Clearly Just a Dark Rectangle With Window Cutouts. The sound design deserves mention too, there's this one looping ambient hum throughout that I'm pretty sure is just the creator's computer fan picked up by the mic. Dare to play it alone, or invite company? Actually don't. This is a solo experience. A private little trainwreck you'll remember more fondly than half the polished stuff flooding the front page.

Three sluts including sexy Claudia Schiffer having fun at their hotel room and are currently using cocaine. A millionaire is arrived by suddenly and offers them a huge sum of money for fuck. They totally agree and he fucks them all.

The whole thing feels like someone left a camcorder running in a bathroom after a party nobody should have survived. Claudia Schiffer, or this pixelated approximation of her, is fresh off a contract with some big shot photographer. You know the type. The opening shot isn't glamour, it's her shoving tampons up her nose and pressing a bag of ice against her ass. The reason? A heroic dose of cocaine. That's the tone. No buildup, just consequences.

The model work is janky in a way that loops back around to fascinating. Her proportions shift between scenes like the artist was learning anatomy in real time. One angle gives you that iconic blonde bombshell, the next she's a stretched out Sohos mannequin with a dildo. The animation cycles are stiff, almost animatronic, which makes the explicit lesbian content feel more like a bizarre medical demonstration than a porno. There's a specific moment where the toy clips through her geometry and just... hovers. I laughed. I didn't look away though. The humor is definitely not intentional, but it's the only thing holding this fever dream together.

The sound design is a crime scene. Just loops that cut off mid-moan and restart with the violence of a defibrillator. The bathroom setting is grimy, tiled with textures that look like they were photographed off a 90s Geocities page. It's not sexy. It's compelling in the way a car crash is. You're not aroused, you're studying the debris. The game forgets it's supposed to be erotic and just becomes this weird character study of a coked-out supermodel trying to ice her sphincter while a disembodied silicone appendage floats nearby. I can't say it's good. But I also can't say I've played anything else quite like it this month.