that camera zoom thing when clothes rip. who thought of that. it's like someone finally understood what we're actually here for. Con-Quest, right, this pokemon parody where everyone's in cosplay and the battle system is turn based but honestly who cares about strategy when the umbreon cosplayer exists. ultra rare my ass, i've been grinding that new beach area for three hours and nothing. the drop rates are criminal.

the writing is surprisingly funny though. like actually funny, not just "haha sex" funny. some of those random shop cutscenes had me wheezing. there's this one where... actually nevermind, spoilers. but the dialogue choices matter more than they should for a porn game. i picked the wrong response once and missed a whole scene. had to reload. which brings me to my complaint, why can't you run from boss fights anymore? i get it, stakes or whatever, but sometimes you just want to see the loss scene without committing to a full battle. the cuebone cosplayer boss wrecked me three times before i figured out the lightning spell scaling with max MP. which is another thing, the spell system is weirdly complex for what this is. fire damage scales with MP but also gets nerfed if you're shocked? grass spells do more damage under healing scissors debuff but less when on fire. i don't know who balanced this but they were definitely thinking with something other than their brain.

speaking of brains, the topless portraits. look, i'm not a patreon subscriber, i'm broke, but i typed "friendzonedagain" into the code input just to see what happens and it reverts everything back to clothed. cruel joke. absolutely cruel. the eevee animation having two parts now is nice though, the second part caught me off guard. and that new rival theme remix slaps harder than it has any right to. i've left the game open just to listen to it while doing other stuff. the stickers by grossgirl are a nice touch too, little details that make the whole thing feel less like a cheap parody and more like someone actually cared about making this weird horny pokemon adventure.

anyway the witch is still out there i guess. i'll get to her eventually. right after i find that damn umbreon cosplayer.

The slime girl in the second zone has this little animation where she sort of wobbles before the turn based battle starts and I kept resetting just to see it again. Not because it's hot, though it is, but because the wobble has this weird charm like a dog that knows it's about to get a treat. Monster Ambassador is rough. The text skip with Z is a blessing because some dialogue drags like a minotaur with a pulled hamstring. But then you meet a tentacle creature in a cave and the whole screen gets this purple filter and suddenly the jank feels intentional, like a fever dream you don't want to wake from.

The battle system is basic. Attack, defend, maybe use an item if you remembered to buy one from the weird merchant who only appears on Tuesdays in game time. I forgot what I was talking about. The creature designs carry the whole thing. A slime girl who drips more than she should, a minotaur with a chest wider than my car, tentacles that don't even pretend to be subtle. The humor lands sometimes, other times it's like a dad joke at a funeral. But the fantasy setting means nobody questions why you're befriending monsters instead of killing them, which is refreshing.

One thing that bugs me. The sound effect when you level up is way too loud compared to everything else. Scared my cat off the couch twice. No option to adjust it separately. Anyway, the adventure structure is loose, more like a series of encounters than a real story, but the promise of new monster scenes keeps me clicking. The turn based fights get repetitive after a while, but then a new creature shows up and I forget the grind. It's not polished, it's not deep, but it knows exactly what it is. A weird little monster fucker sandbox with heart. And slime. So much slime.

The pixel art is actually kinda ugly but in a way that loops back around to being charming? Like someone's first RPG Maker project that accidentally got way hornier than intended. You're this... guy? Furry thing? Honestly the sprite is so small I couldn't tell until the first CG scene hit and then oh. Oh okay. We're doing THAT.

The battle system is turn based obviously but there's this weird soul gathering mechanic where you're basically collecting these floating blue wisps after fights and they just... sit there in your inventory. I kept waiting for some explanation but nah. You just have them. The outdoor areas are surprisingly varied for what looks like a slapped together fantasy setting, lots of grass and weirdly detailed trees that don't match the character sprites at all. Spent way too long grinding slimes near a river because I missed the skill trainer tucked behind some bushes. The map design is genuinely hostile sometimes.

That first loss scene caught me off guard. Wasn't expecting the wolf enemies to have such... specific intentions. The CG art is actually really good which creates this weird dissonance with the rest of the game's janky presentation. Like someone commissioned a legit hentai artist and then built a game around their work. The intelligence stat apparently affects more than just magic damage if you catch my drift, which I didn't realize until my third play session when I finally put points into it. Some of the animations are frame by frame and surprisingly smooth. Others are just two images sliding against each other like a bad powerpoint. The inconsistency is almost endearing.

The journey structure means you're constantly moving through new areas but the enemy variety doesn't really keep up. Same wolves, same goblins, same weird plant things that grab you with vines. You know what they do. The game knows you know. By the fifth area I was actively avoiding fights just to see if the story would go anywhere and it kind of doesn't? But also I kept playing anyway so what does that say about me.

Rating this one out of five. That's one for the concept, one for the monster fucking, and one because I'm feeling generous. The missing two? Lost somewhere in the UI, probably buried under three layers of menus that look like they were designed by a blind goblin.

The Demon Lord gives you a dungeon. You saved him from some beast, now you're the manager. A text adventure with turn based battles, expanding rooms, and hentai girls who get very friendly with the local monster population. The writing is surprisingly direct. When a tentacle beast corners a captured elf, the game doesn't dance around it with flowery metaphors. It describes exactly what that tentacle is doing and where it's going, which I respect. Too many games try to be poetic about a slime girl dissolving your clothes. Just tell me the slime is going inside her, we're all adults here.

The management side is where things get weird. You're supposed to be this dark lord type, making the dungeon flourish. But the choices feel like they're written by someone who just discovered Ren'Py last week and got distracted halfway through. One minute you're deciding whether to expand the torture chamber, next you're in a fight with a wolf man who has more health than seems reasonable. The battle system is basically rock paper scissors with extra steps and a cumshot. I kept losing to the same minotaur because I couldn't figure out if "defend" actually did anything or if it was just flavor text. It's probably flavor text.

The sex scenes trigger randomly, or maybe based on choices, I genuinely couldn't tell. Sometimes I'd click "explore the depths" and get a graphic description of a demon girl getting railed by a lizardman. Other times, nothing. The inconsistency drove me nuts. A DLC that just adds a gallery mode so I don't have to replay the whole thing hoping for the scene with the spider queen would be a godsend. The art, what little there is, has that classic HTML hentai game look, like someone traced over a doujin they found on Fakku in 2009. Not complaining, it works. The sound is nonexistent, which is probably for the best because I don't need my roommate hearing "squelching noises" through the wall.

Raven wakes up with her tits out and zero memory, which is honestly how half my weekends start. The game drops you into Lustein, a fantasy realm where everyone's horny enough to hump a fencepost, and the only people not constantly touching themselves are some weird cult called the Order. You play as this witch trying to figure out what the fuck is going on, and the investigation part actually has some meat to it, talking to NPCs, poking around, finding clues. But let's be real, you're here because the battle system involves tentacles and monster dicks the size of your forearm.

The turn based combat is where things get properly unhinged. You fight these lust crazed creatures and losing doesn't just mean game over, it means getting absolutely drenched in cum. Bukkake scenes pop off constantly. The corruption mechanic means Raven gets more... receptive over time, and you can customize her with outfits that range from "cute witch" to "three strips of leather and a dream." There's this one outfit with raven feathers that barely covers her nipples and I spent way too long just rotating the camera. Voyeurism elements sneak in too, catching NPCs going at it in alleyways, and you can just. Watch. Like some kind of magical pervert.

The art style is deliberately rough around the edges, like someone drew it with one hand busy, which honestly adds to the whole grimy fantasy vibe. Monster designs are creative, lots of slime and tentacles and cocks that shouldn't physically work but do. Lesbian scenes are in there too if you're into witch on witch action. The mystery plot actually kept me clicking, which surprised me, usually I skip dialogue in these things but I wanted to know what the Order's deal was. Customization is deeper than expected, you can change Raven's look constantly and it affects some scenes. The seduction mechanics during investigation feel a bit tacked on though, like oh no I have to flirt with this guard to get past, what a tragedy, except it gets repetitive after the fifth time. Still. Tentacle battle where I lost on purpose just to see what happens. Worth it.