You start as this kinda clueless guy dumped into a “totally not official” region, phone in one hand, half a chub in the other, and suddenly you’re supposed to be both monster trainer and professional horndog. The game plays it like a classic monster RPG, turn based fights and all, but every win feels more like you’re grinding Tinder than grinding levels. You throw balls at monsters, then five minutes later you’re throwing something else at Misty in a changing room. I was half expecting it to be all tease, but nope, it goes hard on the porn side. Big asses, big tits, tiny shorts, way too much bending over. Cynthia shows up with that smug “I know you’re staring at my boobs” energy, and the game absolutely rewards you for being a thirsty idiot. You can wander around like a sandbox, poke into houses you clearly shouldn’t, get sidetracked by some milf asking for “help with her Pokémon” who definitely does not mean her Pokémon. At one point I was supposed to go beat a gym and instead spent 30 minutes trying to trigger a specific sex scene with Nessa because someone on a Reddit thread said it was animated differently on the second try. They were right, by the way. Worth it.

The pickup line stuff hit me harder than I expected. You actually choose dialogue in some scenes, and it feels like speed dating with cheat codes turned off. One option is polite, one is horny, one is just straight up degenerate. I tested them like a weirdo doing field research. On Telegram I even sent screenshots to a language exchange buddy asking “does this line sound like a real fuckboy?” He said yes and I felt strangely proud. Sometimes being bold pays off and Misty basically jumps your dick in the locker after a battle. Other times you try something dirty on Dawn, and she goes “wow, creepy” and the scene turns colder, you still get sex later, but the vibe is different, more rough, less cuddly. It actually teaches you something weird about tone, even if the game itself is mostly about shoving your cock into every trainer with a pulse. The monsters are just there like foreplay excuses, beat one, unlock a new way to rail someone. I wish there was an option to mute the moaning without muting sound effects, but the game doesn’t care what I want and honestly that fits. At one point I forgot the main quest completely and just walked in circles trying new lines on Cynthia to see which one made her blush the most. Felt like using OkCupid in a fantasy world where every match wants to fuck you five minutes after small talk. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Mr. SmallCockMC sounds like a joke name a drunk Discord server would come up with, but here it actually fits the whole vibe of the game weirdly well. You drop into this world as this average dude with a not-so-average problem in his pants, married to a wife who looks like she wandered out of a porn hub thumbnail: huge tits barely fitting in any of her tops, thick ass, soft belly, that kind of “I had kids but I got hotter” milf energy. And the game just leans on that. Hard. She walks around in clothes that are technically outfits but basically just invitations, and everyone around you notices way more than you do at first. Bartender staring down her cleavage, neighbor “accidentally” brushing against her ass, random guys drooling when she bends over. You’re this smaller dude trying to act normal while every scene screams “someone is going to fuck your wife.”

The fun is in how it slowly stops being just background teasing and turns into actual decisions for you. One moment you’re at a small house party, drinking beer, watching her laugh too hard at some dude’s joke. Next moment you’re in the kitchen, and she’s cornered between the fridge and this tall black guy, his hands on her hips, kissing her like he already owns that pussy. The game lets you watch, interrupt, pretend you don’t see, or, you know, lean on the doorframe like a creep while her lipstick smears on his cock when she drops to her knees. That first proper oral scene with her on the floor, gagging a bit, trying to keep eye contact with you while his dick actually fills her mouth bigger than anything you can give, hits way harder than I expected. I was sitting there with my mouse, half annoyed at the janky menu buttons, and still thinking “ok yeah, this is hot as fuck.” The UI looks like something someone set up in a weekend, but when she’s riding him on the couch, tits bouncing, your character awkwardly jerking off in the corner, you kinda forget the rough edges.

And yeah, the game is petty about size, in a funny way. Every time she pulls out another dude’s cock you almost hear the dev giggling. Thick shaft between her huge boobs while she squeezes them around him, your character looking tiny and useless. Later there’s a swap night with another couple where it goes from “sharing a few drinks” to “her moaning on top of the other husband while the wife straddles you and literally calls you cute instead of hot,” and that stings more than any stat screen. There’s even a scene with a very feminine “trap” character who looks better in stockings than your wife does, and of course your girl ends up pressed against them, kissing while you watch, then both of them grinding on some guy like they forgot you exist. Double penetration shows up too, in a way that almost feels like the game is bullying you personally: she’s pinned between two dudes, one in her pussy, one in her ass, big hands on her waist, and you’re the one holding a camera so they can “remember the night.” It’s kind of messed up, kind of hilarious, kind of hot. Like watching a long Pornhub playlist that accidentally got plot and humiliation mixed in. The art is still rough in spots, some faces look off, and sometimes the pacing feels like edging that goes too long, but when she’s standing half naked on a balcony letting some stranger grope her tits while traffic passes below, you forget all of that and just think “yeah, this guy really is Mr. SmallCock.”

Horny Model starts pretty simple on paper: asshole guy wants a girl who doesn’t want him, brings his bro into it, and things go very wrong in that slow, greasy way that makes you keep clicking even while you think “ok this is fucked up.” It’s not some sweet dating sim where you pick flowers and share feelings. This is more like watching a porn shoot where the “casting couch” idea gets stretched over days and weeks, and you’re the one poking every little boundary to see where it snaps. As someone who is poly and usually prefers open consent and everyone talking about feelings, it was weird to enjoy something where the whole point is gradual corruption and manipulation. Weird, but hot. And that made me a bit annoyed at myself and still horny, which is honestly a good combo for an adult game.

The game uses both male and female point of view, which I didn’t expect at first. One moment I’m in Peter’s head, being a smug little shit, pushing Lucy to show “just a bit more” skin for photos, acting like it’s no big deal. Then suddenly I’m looking at things from her side, overthinking everything, horny but confused, convincing herself this is “normal” and she’s just being friendly. That switch hits hard when scenes go from light teasing and “accidental” gropes into rougher stuff, like when the first spanking scene stops being playful and you realize she is already too deep into their game to really say no. There’s a masturbation scene in her room that actually felt kinda real: she’s trying to get off alone, thinking of them, annoyed at herself, then a message pops on her phone and totally changes the mood. It’s not just click sex, it feels messy like real horny brain. I love that. And at the same time, some parts feel rushed, like one moment she’s shy about stripping to underwear, and a couple clicks later she’s taking anal like she’s been training for it. No build-up, just “ok now your ass is ready, I guess.”

What hit me as a poly person is how they slowly turn her into “their” toy instead of just “his” girl. There is this one group scene where Peter and Roger treat her like a shared model, posing her, touching her, talking about her body like it’s a product. It’s totally male domination fantasy, they don’t hide it, but there’s also a fucked up sort of “relationship” feeling between the three. Not healthy at all, but still kind of intimate. Two guys using her, but also caring in their own twisted way: they check if she’s still “comfortable” while double-penetrating her, like that magic word makes it all fine. The AI images are sometimes uneven, tits change shape a bit between scenes, hands look weird here and there, and for some reason I kept noticing the background more than I should. But that unpolished, slightly glitchy look also matches the vibe: like some cursed OnlyFans project that started innocent and then spiraled into full-on sex toy, anal, toys, multiple penetration chaos. I had this moment where she’s half dressed, being teased, and I realized I was silently hoping for an option where she flips it and starts using them instead. That option never came, obviously, and it annoyed me more than the little UI things or the missing transitions. Still, I clicked every single branching choice I could find. And then opened Twitter and acted like I was a normal person again.

Whole thing feels like somebody mashed together horny sailor fanfic, furry twitter art and one of those old romance novels your teacher hides in her bag, then trapped you on a ship with it. In a good way. Or maybe in a bad way. Depends how you feel about being a constantly thirsty fox/otter/wolf guy surrounded by other beefy sailors with zero privacy and way too much free time. You start as the new guy on this merchant ship, still smelling like land and bad decisions, and pretty quick you realize the real cargo is all the pent up tension in the crew. You just… walk around, talk, flirt a bit, fuck up your answers because English is hard and horny brain is stupid, and the story keeps branching quietly in the background. You think some choices are small, like choosing who you share a smoke with on deck, or who you help with boring rope work, but then ten scenes later that same guy is in your bunk at night, whispering filthy shit while the ship creaks and somebody snores two hammocks away.

The art is that soft, slightly messy 2D furry style that looks like it was drawn by someone who has way too much practice drawing wet fur. Muscles, scars, little details like damp shirts clinging to chests, tails poking out under uniforms, all that. Everybody looks like they bite and cuddle with the same passion. There’s this one moment where you’re on watch, waves black as ink, and your captain comes up behind you, all quiet, stands close enough that his chest presses your back. He starts talking about storms and discipline and all that serious stuff, but his hand drifts lower, fingers pressing against your belt, and you have a choice to lean back into him or step away like a good little sailor. I leaned back. Obviously. It doesn’t jump straight to cock-in-hand porn; it stretches it out, lets him test your limits, see how far you’ll go with the ocean around you and nowhere to run. Then later, when the ship hits real bad weather, that same man pins you in the cabin while everything shakes, and the sex feels half like comfort, half like he finally claims you. I actually had to pause Spotify because it got too distracting while I was, uh, focusing.

Game lets you be kind of a slut or weirdly loyal. One route I accidentally turned into the ship bicycle, just drifting between beds and hammocks, tasting everyone a little. There was this grumpy tiger sailor who hated my guts at first, always calling me useless, but I kept choosing to help him scrub the deck and fix knots. Thought it was just grinding affection points. Nope. It turned into this nasty-hot scene where he corners me in the storage room, grabs my jaw and spits in my mouth before kissing me. That one hit like a truck. Then in another run I tried to be sweet with just one guy, this shy rabbit with too-big eyes, and it turned from awkward hand holding to him riding me quietly in the dark while trying not to whimper too loud because bunboy is scared someone will hear. Some parts feel a bit slow, days of chatting and routine, but honestly the boredom kind of works, because when something finally snaps, when a hand lingers too long on your hip or someone pulls you into a cramped cabin and locks the door, it feels earned. I kinda wish there was an option to be a complete asshole and start fights or get thrown overboard or something, but I also know if they added that, I’d still just end up back in somebody’s arms, sweaty, sticky, and pretending it’s about “ship morale.”