This thing pretends to be some big space opera, but it feels more like a horny guy got lost between Mass Effect and a bad hentai doujin and just went “yeah ok, I live here now”. You play a bounty hunter flying around the galaxy, hunting “dangerous women” who just happen to all be hot, stacked and very allergic to clothes. It starts pretty normal: small mission brief, you land on some weird alien station, there is a milf elf captain who already looks like she wants to ride you instead of arrest you. One dialog choice later, you are pinning her to the command table, and the “space justice” is literally you fucking her until her makeup is ruined and she is begging you to cum inside. Story “progression” is usually: find target, argue a bit, she underestimates you, then it is blowjob, rough sex, creampie, some quick joke, next system. Very subtle like a sledgehammer, but it weirdly works.

What I liked is how touch control actually feels natural for fapping, not like some Ren’Py game where you just tap next and pray the text auto goes faster. Here you are dragging dialogue choices with your thumb while your other hand is kind of busy, sliding up to speed through boring lines, tapping small icons to switch from oral to vaginal, or to push her head deeper on your cock when she is “pretending” to resist. There is this scene with an AI-driven ship interface, looks like some hologram milf with glowing tattoos, where you can just keep forcing her to “optimize your stress levels” by sucking you off in different camera angles, and the game lets you loop that instead of pushing you forward. I kept replaying that one with screen rotation off on my phone so I can jerk with the other hand. It plays nice on touch like FapNinja or Nutaku’s browser games, but this one is more direct, less grind, more “here is a monster girl with three tongues, figure out where to put your dick”.

Humor hits and misses. Sometimes it is pretty funny, like when some elf milf crime boss talks big about honor, then two lines later she is riding you, screaming that she is your property and that you better fill her up or she will kill you. Other times the jokes feel like someone watched too much Marvel and tried to copy that, and you just want them to shut up and get back on their knees. There is light parody of all the usual sci fi: you get star fleets, some evil federation, dumb AI assistants who act like they are above everything while literally simulating pussy for you. The hentai logic is strong: every enemy milf, monster girl, alien queen, they all secretly want your cock, and the “male domination” vibe is full on. You grab hair, you make them choke on it, you decide if you cum on their face or deep in their pussy and watch the creampie drip. Sometimes there is a bit of masturbation scene where the “evil” woman pretends she hates you but she is rubbing herself watching you, and you get this stupid grin because it is so trashy but also hot. It is not deep, and sometimes the dialog feels like it was written on a phone in a bus, but when you are lying on your bed with one hand scrolling and one hand stroking, it kind of hits exactly the dirty brain level it aims for.

Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.