The whole thing feels like somebody watched too many late night American Pie clones, then decided to turn that horny brain fog into a sandbox game and just never stopped. You start as this guy who pretty much exists to orbit around older women with bodies that look like they were designed by a frustrated teenager with access to Blender and zero shame. Heavy tits that strain their tops, asses that fill the screen when the camera gets lazy, that kind of very honest visual style. It is not subtle. At all. You roam through the house, the neighborhood, a few side spots, poking into rooms you probably should not, checking windows you really should not, clicking on little icons like a rat hitting the pleasure button. Half the “gameplay” is you pretending you’re just exploring, while the camera clearly knows you are there to stare when some milf bends over the sink or stretches in front of the TV in tiny shorts that ride up every time she breathes.

What I liked, in a strange way, is how shameless the pacing is. One moment you are just wandering, half bored, thinking “ok, nothing is happening, maybe I close the tab and open Reddit,” then you walk in on a late-night masturbation scene in the bathroom with soft moaning and a very deliberate close-up animation that loops just a little too long, like the dev got distracted watching their own work. The animated bits are sometimes clunky, hips moving slightly off rhythm, breasts jiggling a bit like jelly instead of flesh, but that roughness has a certain charm. It feels like those old Newgrounds sex games that tried really hard to be erotic even when the movement was a bit cursed. The voyeur aspect hits the brain in that dirty way: hiding behind doors, peeking through keyholes, catching a milf “accidentally” leaving her curtains open while she fingers herself on the couch. You are not supposed to be there, and of course the game wants you there. Sometimes that tension works, sometimes it just feels like you are running in circles waiting for the correct time-of-day trigger to finally let you catch her in the shower again.

Then you get that sandbox structure on top, which is both nice and annoying. Freedom sounds cool until you are stuck doing the same dumb route across the house, clicking the same sofa, kitchen, bedroom, hoping some new big ass will present itself in a slightly different pose. When it works, though, you stumble into these small scenes that feel oddly personal. Like the milf in the tight tank top pretending to watch a movie, her nipples pressing against the fabric, and your character just sits way too close. No dialogue wall, just some short lines, a hand on her thigh, a slow pan down her body while she pretends not to notice, then the camera sneaks between her legs and you realize she was already wet, touching herself under the blanket long before you came in. Those are the moments where the voyeurism stops being just “peeking from outside” and turns into this weird power play, like you are being allowed to see something secret precisely because you are acting like you should not. There is a lot of jerking off too, obviously. The game loves masturbation as a bridge between scenes: you watch her get off in the shower, then cut to the guy in his room, pants around ankles, stroking to what he just saw, cum splashing on his belly in an animation that is both crude and effective. It is trashy, horny, a little repetitive, occasionally frustrating, and every now and then it hits that perfect sleazy rhythm where you stop caring about flaws and just lean forward, waiting for the next milf to “accidentally” leave her door unlocked.

Holy Shaft feels like somebody mashed together a horny visual novel, a shitty elevator safety video and a humiliation kink discord, then forgot to proofread anything and just shipped it. Which kinda works, somehow. You start in this janky little elevator that looks like it should be going to the office, but instead every floor is a new “what the hell did I walk into” situation. It’s not long-winded at all: door opens, you get smacked in the face with a scenario, you pick your poison, you get either sex, pain, cringe, or all three at once. Then ding, next floor. I was basically treating it like an achievement hunt: “ok, what do I have to say or click here to get her to pull out the toys instead of just slapping me and kicking me out again?” That kind of vibe. Sometimes the game rewards you with a proper scene, sometimes it feels like you got blueballed by the script, but you can kind of see the invisible flowchart in your head after a few runs and it becomes this weird puzzle of horny cause and effect.

What stuck to me most are those tiny branching moments where you think “this answer is stupid, no one picks this,” and of course that’s the one that opens the best scene. There’s this one floor where you can either play it polite or lean into being a complete degenerate. The polite path gives you like two lines and a half-assed tease. Go full trash, and suddenly she’s got a toolbox worth of sex toys out and you’re watching her decide if you deserve the vibrator or the paddle first. The animation is simple but it hits the important parts: jiggle, impact, expressions that actually change when you mess up or push too far. I liked how some characters take your earlier choices personally. Humiliate someone on one floor, then later you see her again and she’s way more rough with you, like she’s keeping score. Or you play submissive all the way and some of them switch into this mocking, playful bullying that feels like soft degradation porn. Sometimes it looks a bit cheap, like “Unity test build with horny plugin” energy, and some punchlines fall flat like an old meme, but then you get a scene where the spanking rhythm syncs with the sound and suddenly it’s way hotter than it has any right to be. The multiple endings thing, honestly, feels more like a set of “you were a good little perv / you were a trash fire” medals than big cinematic finales, but if you’re like me and have a notepad in Google Keep with “ok, Floor 3: choose rude option twice, then agree, then don’t back out” scribbled down, it scratches that completionist brain hard enough you keep riding that cursed elevator again and again.

Being a god’s plaything sounds hot until you realize the goddess is basically a horny streamer watching your life like it’s her favorite slow-burn porn series. That’s the vibe here: some immortal lifebringer chick gets bored, pokes one unlucky guy on a random modern planet, and suddenly his “I got kicked out of home, need a couch” drama turns into living in a magical porn hub disguised as a normal town. You start as this regular dude crashing at Katie’s place, pretending you’ll look for a job or be responsible or something, and then the game just quietly goes: “What if your boring life had monster girls, futa surprises, and moms who don’t know what the word ‘boundaries’ means?” It’s that kind of corruption, but slow and comfy, like when you say “only one more scene” and then realize you’re trying to get a demon girl pregnant because the goddess in the sky might clap for you.

The sandbox style is where it gets fun and annoying at same time. You just click around the city, different places, different times, poking events until something sexy explodes. One moment you’re doing a casual handjob scene in a cramped bathroom, staring at the cheap tiles more than her face, next moment you unlock a full-on multiple penetration fantasy that looks like some divine hentai artist took over your browser. There’s this one voyeur moment at Katie’s home that really hit us: MC peeking through a door crack, thinking he’s being sneaky, watching her masturbate with a toy she swore she “never uses,” and then the camera angle shifts so you see the goddess watching that same scene like she’s on her couch with popcorn. It’s twisted but in a funny way, like someone added a horny Twitch chat to your porn. The 3D-style characters actually look like people who sweat, jiggle, and get embarrassed when you catch them half naked. Or naked. Or on the sidewalk pretending they’re not doing exhibitionism at all. We had one futa encounter that went from romantic “let me hold you” to “okay that cock is actually bigger than mine, excuse me?” so fast it felt like a jump scare, in a good way. The pregnancy and transformation stuff sneaks up too: early on it’s just teasing, later you’re handling body swaps and milfy bellies and trying to remember who had which tits before magic happened. We kept complaining that the footjob stuff always triggers in the ugliest room of the house and never in the nice locations, and yeah, it still bothers us for some reason. But then you get a scene where the MC takes control, goes full male dom on a monster girl who was teasing him all week, and she ends up on her knees, drooling on his shaft while traffic passes outside the window and the goddess zooms in like “yup, archive that.” The pacing is weird, the romance moments are accidentally sweet then immediately ruined by anal, and half the time you’re just grinding time slots on your phone like it’s Candy Crush with tits, but the world slowly fills with lovers, pets, dommes, swinging couples, and that feeling that your whole harem is basically a cosmic toy box for a bored divine pervert watching from above and hoping you fuck up in the hottest possible way.

Alex thinks he just hit the jackpot: eighteen, fancy scholarship, and his aunt basically throws him the keys to a fucking mansion. Marble floors, a pool that looks like Instagram bait, bedrooms so big you could lose a whole marriage in them. It smells like money and perfume and lies. The kind of house where silence has its own echo and everyone talks soft while their eyes keep stabbing each other. You walk in as this polite, slightly clueless kid, and very fast the game starts whispering in your ear that being innocent here just means you are easy to use. Aunt Nicole greets you like a movie star: tight dress, legs for days, smile that says “welcome home” and “don’t trust me” at the same time. The soundtrack does that slow, low synth thing when she gets too close, like the music itself is trying not to stare at her tits. It is not subtle. I liked it. Then I hated it. Then I liked it again.

The whole place feels like one long, horny interrogation. Every room has a secret and every “family” hug lasts half a second too long. Your cousins are walking red flags with perfect asses. Lisa leans in to show you something on her laptop and the camera just forgets the laptop exists, goes straight to cleavage, while some lazy bassline crawls in the background. Tina pretends to be the good girl, but there is a scene where she’s in shorts so tiny they may be a Photoshop error, and the soundtrack suddenly gets this little heartbeat kick, almost off-beat, like the composer was also jerking off. The funny thing is, the investigation part and the pervy part use the same musical vocabulary. When you are trying to break into a password protected folder, the game gives you these slow pulses of sound, like breathing in the dark, and it kind of melts into the animated bodies later when clothes start “accidentally” slipping. I got genuinely stuck on one clue, by the way, because some code was hidden in a painting title, and I will never forgive the background hum in that room for looping the same three notes. It is a small thing, but now that sound lives rent free in my skull and pays nothing.

The sex itself feels like it is growing out of the lies. You are digging into what happened to the missing uncle, and instead of answers you keep getting more skin. A comforting hug from Nicole slowly becomes her pressing those huge tits into you, asking harmless questions with this fake soft jazz in the background, then the track changes to something much darker when you say the “wrong” line. One moment you are worried about who disappeared, the next moment you are staring at a big ass bouncing in your face, with the music doing that half-romantic, half-creepy vibe, like a Netflix thriller that got horny and forgot the plot. The bodies look almost too polished, like AI had a fetish and the dev just said “ok sure,” and sometimes the animation stutters in a way that weirdly makes it hotter, because it feels like a dirty loop you found on some shady Telegram channel. There is this one bedroom scene where the lights are low, the camera lingers on a cousin’s panties sliding down her thighs, and the low-frequency rumble underneath feels like a subwoofer pressed to your chest. I honestly kept clicking the slower dialogue options just to let the track keep going. The game pretends to care about morals, about who you betray or protect, but every choice screen looks like a kink menu. Be a knight? Exploit their secrets? The soundtrack reacts, relatives react, the mansion keeps smiling with its fake luxury, and you are there, trying to solve a family mystery while also wondering how many more “accidental” family kisses you can trigger before everything falls apart in the most deliciously wrong way.