Holy Shaft feels like somebody mashed together a horny visual novel, a shitty elevator safety video and a humiliation kink discord, then forgot to proofread anything and just shipped it. Which kinda works, somehow. You start in this janky little elevator that looks like it should be going to the office, but instead every floor is a new “what the hell did I walk into” situation. It’s not long-winded at all: door opens, you get smacked in the face with a scenario, you pick your poison, you get either sex, pain, cringe, or all three at once. Then ding, next floor. I was basically treating it like an achievement hunt: “ok, what do I have to say or click here to get her to pull out the toys instead of just slapping me and kicking me out again?” That kind of vibe. Sometimes the game rewards you with a proper scene, sometimes it feels like you got blueballed by the script, but you can kind of see the invisible flowchart in your head after a few runs and it becomes this weird puzzle of horny cause and effect.

What stuck to me most are those tiny branching moments where you think “this answer is stupid, no one picks this,” and of course that’s the one that opens the best scene. There’s this one floor where you can either play it polite or lean into being a complete degenerate. The polite path gives you like two lines and a half-assed tease. Go full trash, and suddenly she’s got a toolbox worth of sex toys out and you’re watching her decide if you deserve the vibrator or the paddle first. The animation is simple but it hits the important parts: jiggle, impact, expressions that actually change when you mess up or push too far. I liked how some characters take your earlier choices personally. Humiliate someone on one floor, then later you see her again and she’s way more rough with you, like she’s keeping score. Or you play submissive all the way and some of them switch into this mocking, playful bullying that feels like soft degradation porn. Sometimes it looks a bit cheap, like “Unity test build with horny plugin” energy, and some punchlines fall flat like an old meme, but then you get a scene where the spanking rhythm syncs with the sound and suddenly it’s way hotter than it has any right to be. The multiple endings thing, honestly, feels more like a set of “you were a good little perv / you were a trash fire” medals than big cinematic finales, but if you’re like me and have a notepad in Google Keep with “ok, Floor 3: choose rude option twice, then agree, then don’t back out” scribbled down, it scratches that completionist brain hard enough you keep riding that cursed elevator again and again.