There is something very funny to me about this game. You open it expecting the usual horny snack, some poolside tits, you click a little, jerk a little, close the tab, done. And instead it feels kind of like a rhythm game designed by a pervert who spent too much time in old arcades and then got way too obsessed with boobs and tentacles. It looks simple when you first see the pool, the girls in their bikinis doing that fake “I’m just relaxing here” pose, but your brain starts going into hunter mode the moment the monster slides into the water. The whole screen is a trap for your eyes. Tits bouncing, asses half out of tiny swimsuits, and under the surface you, this horny underwater thing that honestly feels more relatable than I wish to admit.

I play a lot of games with sound off, Spotify in the background, but this one kind of bullied me into turning the in‑game audio up. The little wet slaps when your tentacles snap out, that low, almost silly bass line that makes everything feel like a porn parody of an old coin‑op cabinet, and then those breathy moans when you actually catch a girl off guard. They’re not “high quality production” or something like this, they sound a bit compressed and dirty, like someone recorded them on a cheap mic at home while neighbors were away. And that fits too well. There is this moment when you line up a grab perfectly, the beat hits, your tentacle pops out of the water and wraps around some sun‑oiled thigh, and her bikini bottom gets pulled aside with this tiny little rip of fabric sound. It’s goofy. It’s hot. It’s kind of trash. I love it. I also absolutely hate how sometimes the same two moans repeat three times in a row, feels like my phone notification stuck on a loop, but after a while your brain files it under “sex noise wallpaper” and you move on.

What surprised me is how “arcade” it actually plays. You are not just clicking girls to see tits, you’re basically juggling timing and reflex like some horny version of whack‑a‑mole. They move around the pool, they sit on the edge, they swing their legs, and you’re threading tentacles between floaties and limbs, trying not to waste your shots. Miss, and you get that wet splash and nothing else. Hit, and suddenly she’s pulled halfway into the water, tits spilling out of her top, hair all over her face, and the music does this tiny shift that almost sounds like it’s laughing at her. Or at you. Hard to tell. Sometimes I wished there was a bit more variation, maybe different types of girls, different reactions, whatever, but then I realized the game kind of wants to stay in this one scenario, like a single porn loop stretched and remixed again and again until it becomes its own genre. Personally I also got irrationally annoyed at how one of the bikinis has this ugly pattern I can’t unsee, but I kept going anyway, chasing that feeling when three girls line up at the pool edge and you snatch them one after another with perfect timing, the soundtrack turning into this horny little drum solo while your monster becomes the most efficient sex predator in chlorinated water history.

Portal with tits. That is pretty much the pitch here, just with way more cum and way less science. You get this redhead, Diva Mizuki, who is clearly used to being on a stage, not in some cold testing facility, and suddenly she’s stuck in a puzzle maze where the main tool is a freaking sperm gun. And it’s not subtle. The whole thing plays like someone looked at Portal’s clean white chambers and said, “yeah, but what if those surfaces were for shooting loads instead of portals?” First level drops you in a tiny room, tutorial vibes, and right away you’re firing sticky white shots at walls and platforms, trying to figure out what counts as “interactive”. The first time I accidentally hit her tits instead of the floor and the game actually reacts to it, I kinda laughed, kinda rewound, kinda did it again. She grabs her boobs, lifts them a bit, gets them glazed, and you realize ok, this is the real focus, not the puzzle. The controls are simple enough: aim, shoot, watch fluids go everywhere, repeat. There’s a “find all uses” thing going on, so half the fun is just breaking the level by testing what the gun sticks to: walls, buttons, doors, her mouth, between her tits, under her, on those floating platforms that look weirdly familiar if you ever played too much Valve stuff on Steam. Sometimes you’re just lining things up so she can run through a portal and smack her big chest right into some trigger plate, and other times you’re lining things up so her cleavage gets painted from below. Same motion, very different goal.

By the time you hit the middle levels it stops pretending it’s about escaping the test chambers and becomes straight-up “how many ways can we fuck Mizuki with this one gimmick.” There’s this one stage where you have to bounce cum shots between two portals to splatter her face from the wrong side of the room, and if you’re even a bit off, it lands on the floor and she makes this annoyed little sound that somehow made me more determined than any game over screen. Another level sets you up with a kind of titty fuck puzzle: you need her to kneel near a pressure pad, but she only moves there after you drench her chest enough that the game flags it as “scene unlocked.” So you’re standing on this catwalk, trying to arc your shots exactly into the gap of her cleavage, watching the physics do this weird half-real, half-cartoon drip. It’s stupidly satisfying and also kinda janky, like sometimes the cum just clips into her boobs or flies off at a random angle like it hit invisible wind. I got annoyed for a second because the reload sound on the gun is this squishy pop that started to drive me crazy after repeating a level, but then I got distracted by how she moans differently when you slime her ass versus her tits and forgot what I was mad about. Honestly, she acts exactly like a spoiled idol who suddenly found out science labs can be horny: pouting when you miss a shot, bragging when you “fill” a target, occasionally licking the barrel in a way that would get the original Portal banned from every school computer. It’s parody, sure, but also not really pretending to be more than: walk, aim, shoot cum, open doors, fuck the redhead with physics. And somehow that’s enough.

Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

Last Drop feels like someone took a bunch of horny memories they probably shouldn’t talk about in public, stitched them together, and said “yeah, let’s make this into a story where you are literally in the middle of it.” You’re not just reading, you’re inside that first‑person vibe the whole time, like you’re holding the camera yourself while these insanely stacked girls keep getting closer and closer to you for no good reason except that the game wants you to suffer in the best way. The big thing here isn’t some crazy battle system or whatever, it’s the choices. You click, the story bends a bit, the girl reacts, and suddenly you’re staring straight at her tits from your own point of view, thinking “shit, did I just unlock the good route or did I just screw myself out of something hotter.” There’s this moment early on where you’re just supposed to be having a “normal” chat with this girl, and the CG hits you from your angle, her leaning over the table, boobs basically one breath away from falling out, and you get that dialogue option that’s like the quiet respectful one and the “I’m a horny idiot” one. Obviously you know which one you’re going to click, and the way the scene shifts right after is exactly the kind of payoff you want in this kind of game.

What surprised me is how much they lean into the whole “this is kinda based on real stuff” feeling. It’s not realistic like boring, it’s more like that one night you keep remembering because something way too hot happened by accident. You’re walking through these pretty background scenes, pretending you care about the view, but actually just waiting for the next time some girl with huge tits walks into frame and the camera snaps into POV again. Some of the CGs are honestly crazy nice: glossy skin, soft curves, that little underboob shadow that makes your brain short‑circuit. Then sometimes the angle is weird and you’re like, why is her face half cut off and only boobs in the frame, and then your monkey brain is like “actually that’s fine.” I still hate the tiny font on some dialogue, by the way. I had to lean in like an old man squinting at his phone while trying not to miss the subtle expressions on her face, and it annoyed me, and then right after that there’s a scene where she bites her lip and you forget you were mad. Classic. The game loves dragging you from “ok this is just chill story” to “holy fuck did she just say that” in like one click. One second you’re choosing something harmless like where to go, next second the scene flips and she’s close enough that the only thing on your screen is cleavage and that little smirk that tells you you absolutely picked the horny timeline without meaning to. And yeah, sometimes the “unexpected outcomes” are basically “you thought you’d get sex, you get blueballed instead,” which I kind of respect even if I cursed out loud at my monitor. But when it clicks, when a choice actually lines up with a perfect CG, POV all tight on her body and the story hinting this might not be the last time you see her, it hits that perfect spot between porn game and “shit, I need to see where this goes now.”