Leo Pujols has exactly one dream in life: put ridiculous tattoos on buttholes and somehow call it “culture”. That’s the whole vibe. You show up in this sleepy town called Las Nalgas, where everyone pretends they’re classy while secretly being horny and petty as hell, and you’re the guy opening the first dedicated asshole tattoo studio on the main street. You sit there with your little tablet, staring at cheeks spread on the chair, and the game is just like, “yeah, what do you wanna draw on this rear end today?” Hearts, stupid slogans, cursed memes, whatever. You’re not just picking dialogue, you’re literally sketching on asses and then having to live with that choice when the owner walks around town with “BREATH FART” permanently stamped around their ring. People start reacting to your work too. You give one prim librarian a tiny classy flower around her hole, she walks different after that, and suddenly she’s way more confident during later scenes. You slap a bright neon dick on some macho dude’s backdoor as a joke and that comes back in the weirdest conversation at the bar. The writing leans hard into that “I can’t believe someone got paid to write this” energy. Jokes about “town budget” and “cultural funding” end up being about who gets to show off their butthole on the festival poster. There’s this angry protest group trying to shut your shop down, and every time they appear, they talk like they’re saving the youth from degeneracy while the camera just keeps cutting to huge bouncing tits and people nervously clenching. It’s stupid, but it kind of works because the game never acts serious for more than 3 seconds. One moment you’re in a legit emotional scene about freedom of expression, next moment you’re zoomed in on some chick’s asshole trying to decide if you outline the star in black or red while she moans because the needle is “too close to the rim”. It’s chaotic in a good way.

The anal focus is not some side thing, it’s the center of gravity. Every route circles back to asses. Big soft ones, hard gym ones, hairy dude cheeks, there’s a whole parade of butt variety. Penetration scenes constantly play with the tattoos you made. Like, you pound a girl from behind and the dumb little cartoon you drew is just wobbling there like it’s judging you. Sometimes it’s hot as fuck, sometimes it’s so funny you actually lose the mood and still keep going because the writing is that stupid. There’s a scene where you’re mid-anal with a client who specifically came in to “christen” the fresh ink, and she starts critiquing your line work between moans. “Fuck me harder, but also you really can’t keep a straight curve, can you?” That hit me right in my gamer pride. I wanted an undo button so bad and of course there isn’t one. Choices actually stack up in social ways too. You piss off one big-titted local politician by putting a really vulgar message near her hole, and when the council stuff happens later, she remembers. Like, you’re standing at a public meeting where they talk about art grants, and everyone in the room has seen her asshole in the booth at some point. The humor is juvenile as hell, tons of poop-adjacent jokes and butt puns, but every now and then you get this really horny, surprisingly tender anal scene that feels like it fell in from a different game. Then the next line is some nonsense about “emergency sphincter zoning laws” and you’re back to laughing. It has that messy energy of a dev who really loves asses and doesn’t care about being “tasteful”, which is kinda refreshing in a trashy way. The game’s not trying to be beautiful, it’s trying to make you laugh and jerk off while you draw terrible art on people’s back doors, and honestly, it nails that way too well.

This one feels like somebody smashed a harem fantasy and a dumb sitcom together, then added way more ass shots than needed, and somehow it works. You play this guy sent to “protect” a family of three women, which of course means moving into their house and pretending there is some serious danger while mostly getting distracted by thick thighs and huge tits every five minutes. It starts pretty tame, like you’re just helping with groceries, fixing a door, trying to act professional, and then suddenly you’re staring at a milf bending over the couch, her dress riding up, and the game pauses on her big ass like, yeah, we all know why you’re really here. I actually laughed because the tone is half horny, half “oops I tripped and landed dick-first” energy. The humor is kind of stupid, in a good way, and the teasing is brutal. They know exactly when to cut away, or have someone interrupt right at the moment hand goes under panties, just to make you swear at your screen.

What surprised me most is how much time you spend just… talking. Not in a boring way, more like you slowly build this feeling that any of these women could be the “main route” if you want. One day you’re joking with the older one in the kitchen about how she can’t reach the top shelf, next day you’re pinning her against that same counter and her tits are pressed into your chest, her voice all shaking while she tries to pretend she’s still in control. The 3D models sell it hard: thick curves, big tits that actually move when she rides you, that kind of stuff. There is this scene where you finally fuck her in her bedroom, lights low, she’s on top grinding slow, talking about how long she’s been lonely, and then you get the choice to pull out or not. If you stay in, watching her face change when she realizes you’re creampying her, it’s stupidly hot. After that, the whole vibe with her changes, like she’s softer with you, touches you more in normal scenes, then suddenly snaps cold if you flirt too obviously with one of the others. And yeah, the game remembers that. If you chase her and the younger woman at the same time you get some really awkward breakfast conversations where everyone is smiling just a bit too hard.

I lost one ending because I tried to be greedy and go for every big ass in the house at once. You can get a more “romantic” thing where you’re actually loyal and the final sex scene feels earned, like long teasing paying off with this slow, deep vaginal fucking where she wraps her legs around you and begs you to stay inside while you cum. Or you can be a chaos gremlin and unlock drama routes where you basically ruin the house dynamic and still end up balls deep anyway. There is this stupid tiny thing that annoyed me, by the way: the main guy sometimes makes these cheesy protector lines that sound like they were written by someone who binged too much Netflix, and I kept wishing I could just click a “shut up and kiss her” option, but it never shows up. At least the game lets you steer the mood a bit with your choices, sometimes going for a sincere compliment, sometimes going straight for dirty talk like “you like when I grab your tits like this, right?” and watching them react. I will say, I opened this on Chrome and for some reason it lagged a bit during one of the big creampie animations, which killed the mood for a second. Swapped to Firefox, perfectly smooth, which is exactly how the milf isn’t when you push her up against the shower wall. The story keeps pretending danger is important, something about protecting them, but after the third time you wake up in a house full of horny women in thin pajamas, it’s clear what threat you’re really dealing with. And no, I’m not changing routes, my milf ending is canon, anyone picking the younger one as “best girl” is just wrong and I will die on this hill.

Office VPN says I'm doing “market research”, which is exactly what this game feels like: research on how far you can push a dude with a boring life until he decides, screw it, I’m going full villain for pussy. You start as this regular guy stuck in routine, same tiny wins, same weak porn on your phone before sleep, and the game basically looks at you and goes: what if you actually tried? Not in a motivational LinkedIn way. More like, what if you stop pretending you’re a good person and start pulling strings to get that thick, curvy beach goddess to suck you off behind the bar while the waves hit the sand in the background. It frames it like “choices” and “romance”, but man, some of those choices are straight up corruption, no sugar on top. You push her, you guide her, you break her limits, and the story keeps acting like this is a logical career progression.

What surprised me, from my nerd side, is how the pacing feels like a weird growth chart. Early game is flat line. You sit through a lot of “normal life” talk, texting, little flirty moments that feel almost too pure. You’re at the beach, they’re in swimsuits, tits obviously front and center, but the game teases more than it gives. Then suddenly one decision spikes the curve like a crypto pump. You go from a shy hug to having this “good mom” type wrapped around your dick, breasts pressing on your chest while she tries to convince herself she’s still a decent person. The AI-made images actually lean into that: you get these scenes where the milf’s ass fills half the screen, swimsuit riding up, expression kind of guilty, kind of hungry. Sometimes the faces look a little off and I got distracted counting the fingers like some data QA freak, but then the next CG drops and now she’s on her knees, drool on her lips, and I forget to complain. It sells the fantasy that you’re the one driving her from romantic cuddles to full-on obedient plaything. Even when the dialogue gets a bit awkward, like Google Translate had a stroke, the mood stays hot because the game leans hard on tension and slow burn. A hand on her thigh at sunset. Her pretending she’s just “helping you relax”. The way her huge tits strain against that already too-tight top. Then you click one aggressive option and boom, you’re grabbing her hair, guiding her mouth, and she lets you, because by then you’ve already nudged her down that slope click by click.

If you want to squeeze the most juice out of this thing, don’t speedrun the lewd stuff like a horny raccoon. Take the “nice” options sometimes, build that fake romance, then flip to the more controlling choices when she’s already half in love and confused. Let her think you’re her safe place while you’re the one pushing her into dirtier scenes. The payoff hits way harder when you’ve seen her in the cute beach dates and late-night talks first, then watch her end up with cum on her tongue, looking up at you like she can’t believe what she’s doing and still wants more.

This one feels like when you were a teenager hiding in your room with crappy headphones, playing GTA on a tiny screen and pausing every time someone walked by, but now it grew up, got tits, and started doing mafia shit. You play this woman who looks like she should be on some rich guy’s yacht, but instead she’s stuck dealing with thugs, dirty money, “family business,” and her own fucked-up past that never really shuts up. She’s tough, but not superhero tough. More like: sometimes she smokes in silence, sometimes she wants to fuck someone’s brains out just to forget, sometimes she looks at the city lights and you know she’s thinking, “If I jump sides now, who shoots me first?” The game lets you tease, stall, and pull back a lot. Foreplay is practically a mechanic. There are whole scenes where nothing “big” happens, she just leans in too close, plays with a guy’s expectations, arches her back so those massive tits are right in frame, then walks away like “not yet.” And yeah, eventually it’s not just teasing. When clothes start coming off, they really come off. You get her pressed on cold cars, bent over expensive desks, riding a guy who should probably be at some mafia meeting but is instead buried in her ass while she’s half moaning, half threatening him. Her body is like its own character: big chest, hips that don’t even pretend to be subtle, that kind of ass where even walking across a room looks like a lap dance. There’s a bit where she’s negotiating with some asshole, pretending to be all serious, then she just sits on the edge of his desk like it’s nothing and crosses her legs slow. The camera knows exactly where you’re looking. It’s uncomfortably real in that “I should not be this horny while they’re talking about murder” kind of way.

I like how it mixes all this heavy crime drama with sexual tension that never fully goes away. Sometimes you’re choosing if she stays loyal to one side or sells them out for another, and right after that you’re choosing if she lets a guy taste her or just grind on him till he’s begging. At one point she’s half naked in a dim room, with city lights outside, talking about revenge like it’s a dirty secret, and the scene is so long I started wondering if my phone bugged out. It didn’t. They just wanted me to stare at her curves forever. It reminded me of those old flash games on Newgrounds where the sex scenes were kind of clumsy but you still replayed them ten times, except this is way cleaner and dirtier at the same time. Funny thing, the sound of her heels on the pavement got stuck in my head more than the moans did, and now every time I hear that click-clack outside I think of her pressing her chest against some guy’s back, whispering into his ear while her hand slides lower. And I’m still annoyed the game used the same alley background twice in a row during a really hot scene and I cannot stop noticing it every time I go back there. It’s like when Pornhub buffers at the exact wrong second and you still remember that freeze-frame. I was going to say something smart here about crime stories and power fantasies but honestly I just keep seeing that one shot of her bending over a car hood with her huge ass in the air, pretending she’s checking for damage while the guy behind her is clearly not thinking about the car at all. Anyway. Streets. Sex. Bad decisions. Big tits. That’s the vibe.