You start as this kinda clueless guy dumped into a “totally not official” region, phone in one hand, half a chub in the other, and suddenly you’re supposed to be both monster trainer and professional horndog. The game plays it like a classic monster RPG, turn based fights and all, but every win feels more like you’re grinding Tinder than grinding levels. You throw balls at monsters, then five minutes later you’re throwing something else at Misty in a changing room. I was half expecting it to be all tease, but nope, it goes hard on the porn side. Big asses, big tits, tiny shorts, way too much bending over. Cynthia shows up with that smug “I know you’re staring at my boobs” energy, and the game absolutely rewards you for being a thirsty idiot. You can wander around like a sandbox, poke into houses you clearly shouldn’t, get sidetracked by some milf asking for “help with her Pokémon” who definitely does not mean her Pokémon. At one point I was supposed to go beat a gym and instead spent 30 minutes trying to trigger a specific sex scene with Nessa because someone on a Reddit thread said it was animated differently on the second try. They were right, by the way. Worth it.

The pickup line stuff hit me harder than I expected. You actually choose dialogue in some scenes, and it feels like speed dating with cheat codes turned off. One option is polite, one is horny, one is just straight up degenerate. I tested them like a weirdo doing field research. On Telegram I even sent screenshots to a language exchange buddy asking “does this line sound like a real fuckboy?” He said yes and I felt strangely proud. Sometimes being bold pays off and Misty basically jumps your dick in the locker after a battle. Other times you try something dirty on Dawn, and she goes “wow, creepy” and the scene turns colder, you still get sex later, but the vibe is different, more rough, less cuddly. It actually teaches you something weird about tone, even if the game itself is mostly about shoving your cock into every trainer with a pulse. The monsters are just there like foreplay excuses, beat one, unlock a new way to rail someone. I wish there was an option to mute the moaning without muting sound effects, but the game doesn’t care what I want and honestly that fits. At one point I forgot the main quest completely and just walked in circles trying new lines on Cynthia to see which one made her blush the most. Felt like using OkCupid in a fantasy world where every match wants to fuck you five minutes after small talk. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Mr. SmallCockMC sounds like a joke name a drunk Discord server would come up with, but here it actually fits the whole vibe of the game weirdly well. You drop into this world as this average dude with a not-so-average problem in his pants, married to a wife who looks like she wandered out of a porn hub thumbnail: huge tits barely fitting in any of her tops, thick ass, soft belly, that kind of “I had kids but I got hotter” milf energy. And the game just leans on that. Hard. She walks around in clothes that are technically outfits but basically just invitations, and everyone around you notices way more than you do at first. Bartender staring down her cleavage, neighbor “accidentally” brushing against her ass, random guys drooling when she bends over. You’re this smaller dude trying to act normal while every scene screams “someone is going to fuck your wife.”

The fun is in how it slowly stops being just background teasing and turns into actual decisions for you. One moment you’re at a small house party, drinking beer, watching her laugh too hard at some dude’s joke. Next moment you’re in the kitchen, and she’s cornered between the fridge and this tall black guy, his hands on her hips, kissing her like he already owns that pussy. The game lets you watch, interrupt, pretend you don’t see, or, you know, lean on the doorframe like a creep while her lipstick smears on his cock when she drops to her knees. That first proper oral scene with her on the floor, gagging a bit, trying to keep eye contact with you while his dick actually fills her mouth bigger than anything you can give, hits way harder than I expected. I was sitting there with my mouse, half annoyed at the janky menu buttons, and still thinking “ok yeah, this is hot as fuck.” The UI looks like something someone set up in a weekend, but when she’s riding him on the couch, tits bouncing, your character awkwardly jerking off in the corner, you kinda forget the rough edges.

And yeah, the game is petty about size, in a funny way. Every time she pulls out another dude’s cock you almost hear the dev giggling. Thick shaft between her huge boobs while she squeezes them around him, your character looking tiny and useless. Later there’s a swap night with another couple where it goes from “sharing a few drinks” to “her moaning on top of the other husband while the wife straddles you and literally calls you cute instead of hot,” and that stings more than any stat screen. There’s even a scene with a very feminine “trap” character who looks better in stockings than your wife does, and of course your girl ends up pressed against them, kissing while you watch, then both of them grinding on some guy like they forgot you exist. Double penetration shows up too, in a way that almost feels like the game is bullying you personally: she’s pinned between two dudes, one in her pussy, one in her ass, big hands on her waist, and you’re the one holding a camera so they can “remember the night.” It’s kind of messed up, kind of hilarious, kind of hot. Like watching a long Pornhub playlist that accidentally got plot and humiliation mixed in. The art is still rough in spots, some faces look off, and sometimes the pacing feels like edging that goes too long, but when she’s standing half naked on a balcony letting some stranger grope her tits while traffic passes below, you forget all of that and just think “yeah, this guy really is Mr. SmallCock.”

Apartment 69 feels like someone looked at every degenerate fantasy you had in college and said “yeah, that, but more awkward and more naked”. You’re this 20 year old programmer kid who somehow can afford his own place, and the game treats that apartment like a horny gravity well. Everyone important just keeps getting pulled into it. Family shows up, classmates show up, neighbors that clearly skipped the “boundaries” class show up. It starts pretty innocent, like simple errands and casual chats, and then slowly you’re rubbing against people in tight hallways, “accidentally” walking in during showers, and pretending you’re shocked while the camera zooms straight onto bouncing tits. The corruption vibe here isn’t instant; characters go from normal to “ok fine you can touch me there” to “why am I moaning this much” in a very porn logic way. If you like that slow slide instead of instant sluts, it kind of nails it. If you actually went to college, some of the school scenes are a bit too accurate, just with way more handjobs under the desk.

From Unreal side, I keep catching myself switching between horny and nerdy. The lighting on skin is surprisingly good, especially in darker rooms where the only source is a TV screen or some crappy lamp in the corner. The models are thick in that “this rig has been tweaked for hours” way, not generic store stuff. You notice it in the way breasts settle when characters lean forward, or how the ass pushes against tight shorts when your MC is very obviously staring. It is not perfect though. Sometimes the facial expressions go weird, like you’re talking about homework but she’s making a face like she just got creampied on the roof. Mouths clip now and then, the trans character’s shoulders look a bit off from some angles, and a couple of animation loops feel like someone rushed through them at 4% brain power. I had one scene where a hot milf is supposed to look mad, but she just looks kind of horny and constipated. Still, when the sandbox opens up and you’re bouncing between the apartment and school and back, asking yourself “do I grind affection or do I go straight for more groping in the kitchen?”, the small jank turns almost funny. Like, you’re lining up a serious emotional talk and the game just throws a titty physics moment in your face and your brain forgets the plot.

Sex content hits fast after you get past the intro routine. You start with small stuff like “accidental” touches, helping someone with sunscreen for way too long, or waking up with a hand in your pants and pretending you’re still asleep. Then it goes hard into masturbation scenes, spying on people from doors that are never locked, and those drawn out “teach me how to stroke it properly” handjob bits that feel like they were made by someone who spent too much time on old xHamster clips. When the interracial scenes start showing and the family drama gets nastier, you can really feel the corruption layers piling up, especially when a girl that acted shy two events ago is suddenly riding you and begging to get filled. There is one moment with a virgin character where the game takes its time on the first penetration, camera pressed close, breathing heavy, small twitch in her legs, and it’s honestly way hotter than some of the full-on gangbang scenes in other games. Also, the shemale route is not just a cheap extra. There is build up, flirty text chats, some real tension in the bathroom encounters, and then you end up staring at a hard dick and big tits at the same time and thinking “ok, I did not plan this, but here we are”. Only thing that annoyed me: one UI button in the apartment hub is tiny as fuck and I kept misclicking it like a clown. Never got used to it.

Kat’s life is a total mess in the most fun way. One minute she is half naked on stream with cat ears on, milking subs while pretending to “struggle” with some puzzle game, the next she is in a real classroom solving math problems faster than the teacher. Same girl, same big ass stuffed into a way too tight skirt, completely different masks. The game throws you right into that chaos. You are basically riding shotgun in her head while she flips between being the shy nerdy student, the thirsty gamer girl who loves when chat spams emotes, and the bratty little slut who knows exactly how to use her body to get what she wants. It is not subtle. She flashes tits on camera, teases her stepmom in the kitchen while pretending nothing is happening, then goes to campus like her pussy wasn’t just dripping on a gaming chair. Also I swear whoever modeled her boobs is a pervert, they bounce even when she just breathes. That’s praise by the way. Mostly.

The school stuff hits different than usual porn VN trash. You are doing these light puzzle moments and math mini bits while she is literally texting two people she is fucking at the same time. Girlfriend asking if she can come over and “study,” professor sending a voice message about “private tutoring.” You know exactly what kind of oral exam is coming and you still click it. There is this classroom scene where she solves a problem at the board, chalk dust on her fingers, skirt riding up, and you can feel the prof staring at her ass. Later he has her on that same desk, panties around one ankle, hand clamped on the back of her neck while he buries her face in the notebook she used earlier. Creampie on the page with all the equations. Real high level education. And the voice acting helps too. Kat moans through her teeth when she tries to stay quiet, girlfriend’s voice goes all soft when she slides down between Kat’s legs, the stepmom has this deep, lazy “I own you” tone that will probably ruin some people forever. Sometimes the moans sound a bit too clean, like recorded in a padded room, and it pulls you out for a second, but then you get a wet choking sound during a blowjob and forget what you were annoyed about.

What really sticks is how filthy the house feels without actually being dirty. Kitchen looks normal, but you know the stepmom has fucked her there. There is this voyeur moment where Kat sneaks to the door, watches her stepmom stroke herself on the couch, fat cock in her hand, phone in the other, and you can see Kat bite her lip, fingers already under her shorts. The game loves exhibitionism too. She does a cosplay stream in a “safe” school uniform, then slowly unbuttons it while reading dumb messages from chat. At one point she “accidentally” sets the camera a bit too low and you get that perfect under table view while she gives a secret handjob off screen. Only it is not off screen for you. And then you get lesbian scenes with the girlfriend that are full on soft and romantic until Kat just grabs her head and rides her face like she is farming XP. Then later she calls her the “good girl” and you remember that Kat is not actually the victim here, she is the one juggling everyone. The pacing is weird sometimes, it jumps from goofy humor to incest tension to futa domination in a few clicks, like someone flicking TV channels with one hand while masturbating with the other, but that kind of fits. This is exactly the sort of game where a girl solves a math puzzle, sucks a cock as reward, then wipes her mouth and goes back to streaming like nothing happened. And I still hate the tiny mouse cursor in the main menu for some reason, it looks like it belongs in Windows 98, but yeah, anyway.