You wake up in Sonic’s blue spiky body on this weirdly quiet island, with zero idea how you got there and way too much blood in the wrong place. The game doesn’t waste time pretending to be deep. You click around, you poke into random places, you pretend to care about the “mystery of the island”, but everybody knows why you’re actually here. Amy shows up early, all pink and clingy, and the writing leans hard into that obsessive fangirl vibe. One second she’s telling you that Tails is locked up in Chemical Plant, next second you’re already getting options that basically translate to “act like a horny hero” or “act like a slightly less horny hero”. It’s not subtle. I liked that. Or maybe I hated it. I’m not sure, I clicked everything anyway.

The best part for me is how it keeps pretending it’s a serious Sonic adventure with mother emerald, Eggman trying to make a new life form, world in danger, blah blah, while you’re clearly just building a harem of furries with big… personalities. Blaze shows up with this cool serious attitude, like she’s too good for horny nonsense, and ten clicks later you’re seeing her in a situation you definitely never saw on your old Sega emulator on your phone. Rouge? Completely untrustworthy, which is perfect, because every time she talks I’m waiting for her to stab me in the back or sit on my face. Sometimes both. There are dialog choices that act like you’re planning strategy, who to recruit, how to attack Eggman, but the “strategy” is mostly about which girl you want to flirt with first and how much you can push before the game rewards you with another explicit scene. And of course Tails is suffering offscreen while you’re getting handsy with everybody. Relatable, honestly. My love life also feels like I’m the side character locked in Chemical Plant.

The actual adult scenes are not shy at all. The game knows exactly what Sonic fans have been searching on incognito mode for years and just leans into it. You get Amy going from cute to desperate, Blaze trying to keep control and failing, Rouge being a total tease, and then you have Sticks, who feels like she escaped from some conspiracy subreddit and landed straight into porn. The tone jumps around all the time, sometimes goofy, sometimes surprisingly sweet, sometimes just straight up filthy for three clicks in a row. I laughed at a few lines that clearly were written by someone whose first language also isn’t English, then got turned on, then laughed again because a sex scene used the word “teamwork” like it was a fetish. The “plot” with Eggman and the mother emerald is only there to justify why all these hot animal girls are stuck together on one island and why you have an excuse to “form a team” by fucking your way through the cast. I kept telling myself I was chasing the emerald, but the only gems I actually cared about were attached to the girls’ chests. It’s messy, horny, a bit stupid, sometimes oddly romantic for three seconds before it goes back to raw hentai energy. Honestly, it feels like the exact kind of disaster a lonely Sonic fan would dream up after a bad day and too much internet. In a good way. Or a bad way. Whatever, I still clicked every option.