Man, this game threw me off right from the start. I opened it thinking it’d just be another messy parody with lazy jokes and pixel boobs, but nah, it’s got this weirdly hypnotic rhythm to it. Like, you’re Morty but not Morty - more like some version of him that’s seen too much hentai at 4 AM and still tries to act chill about it. The writing bounces between awkward teen panic and total degenerate confidence, which somehow works. One minute he’s nervously mumbling about interdimensional nonsense, next he's elbow-deep in something that probably violates a few universal laws. And god, the voice lines - half sound like a bad improv skit on Discord, half like someone’s actual bedroom mic confession. It shouldn’t be hot, but it kind of is.

There’s this one scene - can’t even call it a scene, more like a fever dream - where he’s stuck between two portals, both dripping with fluorescent slime, and you’re given this choice that makes zero sense but also feels like the most important decision you’ll ever make. That’s what this whole thing does: makes absurdity feel spiritual. The pacing is off, like purposefully off, dragging moments until you’re uncomfortable enough to laugh or maybe keep clicking because the animations start looping smoother the longer you stare. The control scheme is nothing fancy but you won’t care, because somehow the dialogues keep pushing into taboo, stepping over lines like they’re suggestions, and then circling back into weird emotional vulnerability that shouldn’t land but totally does.

I swear the backgrounds change depending on how bad you feel for laughing during the dark parts. Could be my imagination or just bad memory, can’t tell. The “Rick” version here is unhinged even by internet standards, giving these lectures that start about time travel and end in humiliation kinks. And the “Summer” side stuff - let’s just say it redefines uncomfortable curiosity. I tried alt-tabbing to Spotify halfway through a scene and forgot what song I was even playing. That’s how this game eats time and dignity together, one click at a time.

Thieves of Dingirra feels like somebody smashed a horny VN, a chill management game and a messy RPG party together, then left it on the table with a “do crimes, fuck everyone” note. You start as this sneaky bastard, the Master Thief, dropped into a city that already smells like sex and trouble, and your job is to turn a tiny gang of nobodies into the dirtiest, richest thieves guild in town. The city is split in quarters and you stare at the map thinking “ok, I’ll just send a couple idiots to pickpocket here” and suddenly you’re juggling turf wars, bribes, and who you want to bend over next. I had Chrome open with like 10 tabs, Discord pinging, Pornhub paused on another monitor, but my attention kept sliding back to “ok, one more heist, then I’ll go to sleep”. Lies, obviously.

The character creation is what hooked me too hard. You can go full male, full female, or play around with it, and the game actually reacts to what you are trying to be. I started as a cocky male thief and somehow ended up building a crew where half my lieutenants wanted to ride me, the other half wanted to rob me, and a few wanted both in the same night. You get flirty banter that slowly turns filthy: one moment you are discussing guard patrols, next moment a monster girl with horns and a tail is on her knees, tongue out, talking about “payment in kind”. The lesbian scenes caught me by surprise, in a good way. Two of the women in my guild had this slow burn thing going on, lots of snark and eye contact when I assigned missions, and when it finally blew up into a proper sex scene it was just them going down on each other in a dusty hideout, muffled moans so the guards outside don’t hear. It feels dirty in that very specific “we should not be doing this here” way. And the game is equal-opportunity filthy, you can go for guys too, get your cock sucked in some back alley deal, or slide into a more tender thing that actually has romance vibes instead of just “ok, next hole”.

The furry stuff is there, and it is not shy. The first time I took a contract from this local monster girl “fixer”, I thought it was just another contact on the map. Then I clicked through her scenes and she’s this smug cat-eared thief who steals your loot, then basically pushes you against a wall and starts grinding on your thigh while teasing you about being “too soft for Dingirra”. I picked a dialogue option that was supposed to be threatening and it just made her more turned on. Later, when the guild was big and I was trying to min-max my income per quarter, I had this stupid moment where I was staring at numbers and suddenly remembered “oh right, last time I met her she swallowed my cum in an alley and licked her paws clean like it was wine”. The game keeps mixing that: one second you’re tweaking risk levels on a job, next second you’re in a detailed blowjob scene, hearing how your partner tries to talk with your dick in their mouth. Vaginal stuff is just as graphic, with a lot of focus on how risky it is to be fucking in the middle of criminal operations. You’re banging a female thief on top of a desk piled with stolen letters, papers sticking to her sweaty back while she rides you, and she’s half laughing, half begging you to cum inside before the patrol makes its round. It’s hot and also stupid, which is kind of perfect for this setting.

At the same time the strategy side weirdly matters. You send squads on missions, adjust heat, build up control in each neighborhood, and the better you treat people, the more their personal stories open up. Some of those stories are pretty soft, almost like romance VN stuff, and then suddenly they go from “my tragic past” to “I want your tongue between my legs, right now”. I liked that, even if sometimes I just wanted to skip to the sex and the game made me read three extra lines about politics. One guy in my crew kept talking about family honor and I honestly don’t remember half of it, but I do remember the scene where he pushed me onto the bed after a successful raid, still half dressed in armor, and fucked me so hard the headboard hit the wall. There was this dumb little animation of text describing how his thrusts got rougher and I was sitting there thinking, yeah ok, this is better than whatever was on Netflix tonight. There is one UI sound that drives me crazy though, this click when you confirm some tasks, I hated it from the first minute and never got used to it, and I’m still annoyed about that and I don’t even know why. The city keeps opening up, different factions, different monsters and humans and in-between, and every time you think “ok, that’s enough kinks” the game quietly drops another option in your lap and asks if you’d like to suck it.

Emily is that kind of heroine who looks like she should be in some cute, holy church story, but the game clearly hates that idea and keeps throwing her into every dirty corner of this medieval shithole of a town. It starts pretty mild, you know, the usual “lost girl from small village” stuff, she’s nervous, shy, touching herself under the blankets like she’s scared the gods are watching. But the way the game plays with her curiosity is what got me. First time she sneaks a look at a guy getting jerked off behind the inn, the camera sits too long on her face, on her breathing, on her biting her lip. She pretends to look away, you can click somewhere else, but you don’t. You keep her watching. You make her watch. That’s the vibe. The corruption is not fast, it’s like someone slowly opening her shirt button by button in public and telling her it’s her idea.

What I really liked is how the sandbox thing works with her shame. You’re not forced into a straight line. You roam around this town that looks kind of cozy and rotten at same time, and every corner is some new way to push her. Maybe she just wanted to buy fruit and instead you end up with some drunk mercenary “accidentally” groping her ass near the stall, his hand staying way too long. You can back out, or you can have her freeze, not fight, feel that first hot spark between her legs. Then later she’s in her little rented room, pretending she’s just going to sleep, and you have that scene where she sits on the edge of the bed, lifts her dress, fingers shaking, and starts masturbating while replaying that touch in her head. It’s not glamorous porn, it’s messy, guilty, with her whispering “just a bit” and then going way past “just a bit” until she’s grinding on her own fingers like a needy slut. And then the game hits you with a choice the next day, like “do you avoid that guy” or “go the same route again, oops”, and you know exactly what you’re clicking and why.

The oral and lesbian stuff also doesn’t appear as “hey, here is the lesbian route now”, it feels more like her accidentally sliding into it. One time she’s just helping a “friend” wash in the bathhouse and suddenly there is this long, slow scene of soap, hands on tits that are obviously too big for that tiny shirt, two girls pressed against each other, one clearly more experienced, guiding Emily’s hand between her own legs. Emily’s first time going down on another girl is clumsy as hell, she’s trying to copy what she saw guys do through keyholes earlier. You can almost feel her confusion turning to hunger when the other girl moans and grabs her hair to push her deeper. Then like three scenes later she’s on her knees for some smug asshole with armor and bad haircut, licking his cock while trying to keep eye contact because he told her “good girls look up”, and you can decide if she does it like shy, hesitant little thing or like she already knows she likes the taste. Honestly I hated the fetchy “go here, click this icon again” loop sometimes, it gets grindy, but then you suddenly unlock a new animation with her big ass bouncing up and down on some guy in a dark alley and you forget you were annoyed five minutes before. It’s that kind of game where you tell yourself “ok, last event” and then you’re still there, making her sneak out at night just to find someone else to use her. Shame turns into habit, habit into hunger, and the town becomes one big stage where she keeps learning she was never as innocent as she thought.

You start as this smug bastard who already turned Tsunade into his personal toy some years ago, and the game just treats that like normal Tuesday. No big drama, just “yeah, she’s mine now, what’s next.” That already tells you the tone. You’re not here to be a hero. You’re basically weaponizing mind control to build your own village with a harem of kunoichi from everywhere, and the story is very honest about it. The vibe is closer to some fucked-up fan doujin than a “proper” visual novel, which I liked way more than I should. It looks simple at first, just text and 2D scenes, but the scenes are animated enough that when Hinata drops to her knees and you order her to “prove loyalty with her mouth,” it actually hits. There’s this one early scene where you test your improved technique on Kurenai, and you see that moment her eyes glaze over, her whole serious-jonin act just melts, and you can push her from “I’ll never obey you” to “should I use my tits or my tongue first, Master?” with like two choices. It’s wrong, it’s hot, and then it’s somehow even more wrong.

The funny thing is, the corruption is not even subtle. You charm, you push, then you flip the mental switch and suddenly someone like Temari, who normally would snap your neck, is awkwardly trying to give you a footjob because you told her this is “Sand Village protocol.” She complains, you tease, a bit of groping, and then the animation kicks in and she’s rubbing your dick with her toes while her face is this perfect mix of pissed and turned on. I kinda loved that. And then I hated how sometimes the pacing just dies between scenes for no reason. You get a brutal gangbang-style group sex setup with Mei and Samui on their knees, Tsunade in the back stroking you with her tits, creampie after creampie, and then the next bit of story is just walls of text about politics, like I didn’t just watch the Mizukage drooling on a cock that is technically controlling her brain. The game likes to drop you from intense anal with Ino straight into talky exposition about “support from other villages” and I kept wanting to yell at my phone. Yes, I’m on a bus, yes, I’m reading about Sakura getting her virginity stolen in a storage room behind Ichiraku, I have no shame, but at least keep the horny flow going, you know?

What I keep coming back to is how it handles power. It’s not romantic at all. You’re the guy who already broke Tsunade and now treats her like living proof that your technique works. At one point you use her as a demonstration, ordering her to lick Ayame clean after you finish inside her, like you’re showing off a trained pet. It’s fucked, but the game doesn’t pretend otherwise. The male domination is heavy, there’s BDSM flavor, and the harem thing isn’t some fluffy family vibe, it’s more like “these girls belong to my new village, and by village I mean my dick.” One moment you’re forcing Karin to ride you until she passes out, the next you’re making Hinata and Tenten play with toys on each other while you sit back and decide who gets your cum. Lesbian scenes feel like you’re watching puppets you pulled strings on, especially with the mind control touches, and I mean that as praise and also as a bit of a “Jesus Christ, dude.” There’s a corruption route where a girl who starts shy and stubborn ends up begging for anal, asking you to mark her womb, and you realize the game quietly shifted from teasing handjobs to full-on harem breeding fantasy. It pretends to be “just” a parody, but after a while, you’re in too deep to call it that with a straight face.