This thing feels like someone grabbed your Steam library while drunk, smashed it together with Pornhub search history and then just said “yeah, that’s a universe now”. You start as this regular dude who absolutely should not be trusted with a portal-hopping device, and suddenly you are peeking into all these twisted versions of familiar worlds. One minute you are watching a redhead archer who is very obviously not Aloy grind her hips on some ancient machine while you are crouched in the bushes like a horny raccoon, next moment you jump to a rainy hellhole that smells like Silent Hill and Resident Evil had a baby, and Lady D is sitting on a throne with her thighs open, lazy as fuck, letting you worship her feet before she even looks at your face. The game does not even pretend to be subtle. It is like “here, you wanted Ellie with a knife and a dirty mouth, and you wanted to see if she kisses girls as aggressively as she stabs clickers? Cool, have a scene where she is shoving some punk girl against a wall, french kissing her while you watch from a half-broken window, hand in your pants, too scared to breathe because she almost catches you.”

The fun is how the game keeps throwing fanservice you did not know you wanted. Jinx is here, of course she is, wired on some shimmer knockoff, riding a dildo fixed to an old Zaun pipe and laughing like a maniac while you sneak under the catwalk to get a better angle on her dripping pussy. There is this whole cyberpunk city shard where Judy and Panam and Meredith all exist at the same time, like some weird mod that never got patched, and you get dragged into this fucked up NTR setup where your character gets to spy on Panam cheating on you with a chrome dom guy while Judy is under the table, licking Panam’s clit like it is some religious duty. You can join in, or you can just sit there and be a cuck voyeur, watching her swallow his dick on her knees while Panam moans your name by accident. The writing goes from funny to cruel in half a scene, like there is a Mass Effect corner where Miranda is using you like a toy, guiding your tongue over her ass, forcing you to rim her in an elevator, and then on the next jump you land in a cold Metro tunnel where Snezhana is giving some dirty, fast blowjob to survive and you kind of feel bad about how turned on you are.

Not everything hits right. There is a Game of Thrones cluster with Sansa, Arya, Cersei and Margaery, and it almost feels like the dev just dumped all their incest porn folder there and called it a day. One scene has Cersei sitting on the edge of a bed, her foot pressed on your chest, making you lick between her toes while she makes Sansa kneel and eat her out from behind, slow and obedient, like a trained dog, and it is hot, but then it cuts away way too soon and suddenly you are in some Tomb Raider ruin watching Lara and Kassandra compete who can make you cum faster with their mouth, and you never get closure on that foot thing. Same with Baldur’s Gate girls, like Shadowheart and Lae’zel and that green disaster Lae’zel’s friend whose name I always forget. One moment you are buried between Shadowheart’s thighs, tongue deep in her pussy, her hand on your hair pushing you to lick her ass too, soft little whines in your ear, and then the game just shoves you through another portal into some cursed TV zone that is basically The Ring with tits. Still, every now and then it nails that perfect mix of naughty fanfic and actual kink. Liara and Miranda double-teaming you, one riding your face while the other rides your cock, your hand tangled in blue skin and black hair, your vision all sweat and pussy. Lizzy Wizzy doing this weird chrome striptease before letting you jerk off on her feet. A lesbian alley scene with Zoe and Clementine lookalikes where they think no one sees them, kissing, giggling, fingers slipping into panties while rain hits the trash cans around them. Some parts feel rushed, some parts feel like the dev had one hand on the keyboard and one on their dick, but there is this stupid charm in how messy and raw it all is, like a huge crossover fanfic that forgot to be safe for work and never tried to fix itself.

Game feels like someone put Mass Effect on a tiny phone screen, stripped out all the self-serious drama, and said “okay, now everyone just wants to fuck the aliens”. And honestly, it kind of works. You’re the captain on a small ship, nothing fancy, and your entire “save the human race” thing keeps getting derailed because the crew has huge tits, weird skin colors, tentacle hair, and zero sense of personal space. One moment you’re checking the galaxy map, next moment Liara lookalike has you pinned to the chair, blowing you while you try to pretend you’re still talking tactics. The vibe is chill though. There’s this lo-fi-ish background loop on some screens, almost like those YouTube “beats to smash blue alien girl to” playlists. I had it running on my phone during commute and almost forgot I was playing porn game until the first animated titfuck popped up and I had to angle the screen like a criminal.

The parody stuff is obvious if you ever touched Mass Effect. There’s the quarian-style girl in her suit, there’s the blue asari-type with psychic bullshit, plus some proper monster girl nonsense. They lean hard into big tits, like gravity is illegal. One scene with the quarian clone hit me more than it should: you’re checking her suit systems, supposedly fixing a problem, and the dialogue just slowly turns horny until your hand “accidentally” slides over her chest. The game doesn’t even pretend it’s a misunderstanding. She shivers, you push it, and next thing you’re groping her through the suit while she tries to keep her voice steady on comms. After that, when she finally opens her helmet for oral, they actually did a nice detail with her being shy and still going full throat anyway. I liked that she spits on your cock once, looks annoyed at herself for losing control, then just gives up and jams it back in. There’s also group sex scenes later where the blue girl and the quarian basically fight over who gets the creampie, and at one point they just settle on multiple penetration with tentacle toys because the captain can’t be in three holes at the same time. Basic math.

What surprised me: the sandbox bits aren’t just fake. There are simple battles and missions, yeah, but you really are jogging around the ship, poking at rooms, talking to girls in different moods. One time I failed a tiny combat encounter, and the punishment was basically a delayed H-scene where the alien monster pins the captain, uses him like a toy, and the crew finds him later half naked and exhausted. It felt more funny than dark, kind of like “okay, you sucked at combat, now you suck dick”. The cheat menu is there, just hiding like a dirty secret, and I 100% abused it to unlock a group scene where two aliens share your cock, one riding you raw while the other sits on your face, and when you finally cum, it splashes over blue skin and they argue about who deserved the load. I like the animated loops, even if sometimes the timing is a bit weird and the thrust speed doesn’t match the sound. That bothered me way more than it should and I kept staring at it instead of the actual pussy. Still, between the casual little RPG elements, space map, groping options, and all the alien sex, it somehow feels like a horny fan’s fever dream that escaped from someone’s phone and became a real game. It’s messy, but in a nice “yeah, I made this in my room while listening to chill beats” kind of way.

Liara here is not the calm space nerd you remember from your first Paragon playthrough. This thing treats her like the main course at a dirty intergalactic buffet, and the camera knows exactly what it’s doing. You load in and she’s already in that soft blue glow vibe, tits way bigger than in the games, areola huge and dark and just kind of hypnotizing. The whole thing feels like one of those NSFW mods you secretly googled on your phone while pretending to check Discord. Except here that fantasy actually responds to you. You poke, you drag, you change tempo, and Liara reacts with these breathy moans that sound a bit too happy to be “just studying Prothean ruins.” The sound design has that cheap porn energy, but it works. Like watching Pornhub with AirPods in and pretending you’re classy.

The best part is how the game leans on big bodies like it’s proud of it. Thighs thick as Garrosh’s neck, cleavage spilling out like Blizzard’s artists finally lost their filter, and that absurdly big cock you control slapping against blue skin like some cursed crossover between Mass Effect and an orc breeding fanfic you read on AO3 at 3% battery. There’s a moment where you angle the view up and Liara’s breasts just bounce into frame, nipples huge, areola taking half the screen, and you kinda forget to actually click anything for a second. It’s not “elegant sci‑fi erotica,” it’s more like “what if your teenage Shepard’s brain had access to Blender and zero shame.” The animations are not perfect, sometimes hips clip weird and her expression goes dead fish for a second, like she just alt‑tabbed mentally to check her email, but then a moan hits at the right time and you stop caring. The rhythm can get janky too, like the strokes desync slightly from the sounds, which somehow makes it feel more like a cheap old Flash game on Newgrounds, and that nostalgia is its own kind of horny. Also the loop of one particular wet sound effect feels about 2 seconds too short and it starts to feel like a TikTok audio, but yeah, you’ll live.

Thing is, this game knows exactly which brain cells it’s targeting. If you ever paused Mass Effect just to stare at Liara’s ass in the squad menu, you’re the target audience. If you know who Jaina Proudmoore is and thought “yeah, her but with Liara’s face and an orc’s cock” then welcome, you sick bastard, you’re home. It doesn’t pretend to be deep, it just shoves a big penis into a famous blue alien and lets you mess with angles and pace like some pervy cameraman on the Normandy. There’s this angle from under her, thighs framing the screen, big breasts swaying above, and you can almost hear your old Xbox wheezing under the weight of your sins. Sometimes you’ll wish there was more variation, like maybe a different position or a way to swap in some green orc skin and pretend Garrosh is breaking her in while Jaina watches from the side, but the loop is simple enough that your dick understands it before your brain does. It’s like those trashy TikTok edits of Liara but interactive and with way more cum. Not high art. Not subtle. Just lewd, loud, and very, very blue.

Tali is absolutely not the shy little quarian tech nerd people remember from the original games. Here she’s more like the center of a very rude quiz show where every question is “How far are you willing to go this time?” and the answer keeps getting filthier. The story picks up after she escapes this messed up ghost ship, and instead of going back to anything safe, she ends up bouncing around space with a bunch of “friends” who have very specific ideas about what to do with her suit, her body, and her obedience. One moment you’re in a legit combat scene, trying to manage shields and positioning, and the next moment losing a fight means Tali is on her knees, visor fogged, being used like a trophy by whatever monster just wrecked you. And yeah, the camera really loves her ass. Whoever built those shots deserves an award. Maybe “Excessive Focus On Tali’s Butt” gold medal.

The game kind of feels like a horny Mass Effect quiz where every choice is secretly: a) blowjob, b) anal, c) corruption, d) all of the above. You run around in this sandbox structure, poke different parts of the ship or station, and suddenly you’re in some awkward scene with Liara teasing her while EDI throws dry comments in the background like she’s hosting a porn podcast. One of my favorite dumb moments: I was half-tabbing out to check Discord, left a teasing scene running with Tali “practicing” oral on some alien cock, came back and she had switched positions and was riding instead because I let the idle animation chain continue. No tooltip, no pop up, just “you ignored the scene, now she’s even more corrupted, congrats.” It’s janky in spots, the animations sometimes loop too obviously, and Kasumi just kind of appears, steals the spotlight with a handjob scene, then vanishes again like a horny ninja. Never explained properly, and the game just shrugs and moves on.

What’s nice is how it leans fully into parody without being shy about anything. Miranda’s big tits are used exactly how you think, Ashley is still an uptight soldier but now her idea of discipline is getting Tali to “follow orders” with vaginal and anal rewards, and somewhere in the middle Shepard is there, but half of the time feels like a side character in his own porn. The corruption aspect creeps up on you in a stupidly fun way: early Tali is awkward, blushing, touching herself alone in a quiet room, just masturbation and a bit of teasing. A few bad fights lost, some “training” with Shiala and Samara, one very wrong encounter with a slime-like monster, and suddenly she’s the one grabbing cocks first, begging for more, suit open in places you’re pretty sure are not Alliance regulation. It’s dirty, it’s uneven, it repeats a couple of angles too much, and the UI sometimes hides a choice you swear should be there. But when she bends over in zero-g and the whole scene turns into this slow, weightless anal fuck with her gasping inside the helmet, you kind of forget what you were annoyed about. Or what you were doing before the scene started. Or why Jira is still open in another tab.