Crossunder Academy looks at you and goes, “yeah, you’re the new kid, you don’t know shit, but here, have power anyway.” You roll in thinking it’s just another school VN with some tits glued on, and then they throw you into the Student Council and suddenly you’re the class president, fake tie, fake responsibilities, and very real chances to fuck half the campus if you don’t screw it up. It starts tame, like a dating sim pretending to be serious: club budgets, school events, that kind of filler. Then you figure out every boring “proposal” conversation is basically foreplay. The shy club rep who wants more money for “equipment” leans over your desk a bit too far, blouse a little too tight, and you’ve got the classic choice pop-up: act professional, tease her, or slide right into horny territory and test how far she’s willing to go to get that funding. You know which one you click. Don’t lie.

The fun part is how it mixes the puzzle feeling with porn without turning into some clicker trash. You’re not matching gems or anything stupid like that, you’re juggling scenes. Say the wrong thing to one girl and she gets jealous when you’re alone with her teacher later, and suddenly that nice slow blowjob under the desk becomes “sorry, I can’t, people will talk.” Say the right thing and the same teacher is on her knees, glasses fogged up, working your cock like she’s grading on a curve. Some routes feel like you’re solving a horny jigsaw puzzle with horny pieces. You’re planning event schedules while secretly thinking, “ok, if Hermione-clone student nerd and that thick aunt-looking lunch lady are both there, can I push them into some exhibitionist shit?” and sometimes the game actually lets you pull it off. There are moments where the camera settles into POV and it’s just you, her big tits pressed right into the frame, your cock between them for a messy titfuck, and the sound design goes from cartoony to “oh, someone actually cared here.” Then next scene a different girl is doing this ahegao face like she’s auditioning for a meme compilation and it almost kills the mood, but you keep clicking because, well, creampie counter is not going to fill itself.

It leans hard into the fantasy faculty and campus girls archetypes. You’ve got the prim bookworm who clearly wants to be ruined in the library after hours, the fake innocent student council girl who’s absolutely into groping behind closed doors, the curvy “tradwife” type who talks about cooking and chores while riding you raw, and that one busty older woman that might as well have “MILF” written on her forehead. Half the time you’re trying to act like a respectable president in meetings, half the time you’re lining up which corridor to “inspect” so you can corner someone and see how far she’ll go if the hallway cameras are “mysteriously” off. There’s teasing everywhere, a little too much sometimes: she’s in your lap, skirt hiked up, grinding on you, moaning in your ear about how wrong it is in a school setting, and the scene still stalls until you pick the right dialog line before it lets you finally push inside. When it does click though, the game doesn’t flinch: deep throat, sloppy oral, thick ass bouncing in your lap, cum inside, cum outside, cum on her face while she’s making that stupid cross-eyed expression. It’s messy, a bit goofy, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky as fuck, but it feels like an actual degenerate school fantasy where your choices matter just enough to make you paranoid you missed one more filthy route.

Didn’t expect a parody game about cartoon moms and princesses to hit that weird sweet spot between trashy and oddly sincere, but here we are. It starts all innocent - bright colors, the kind of smooth animation that screams “safe for work” for about five seconds before the camera decides it’s not. The first scene with Violet trying to figure herself out (and failing, spectacularly) caught me off guard. She fumbles, she blushes, she *asks questions* like a real person instead of a scripted puppet. Then Helen shows up, and the tone flips. Suddenly it’s not awkward anymore, it’s charged - like someone turned the thermostat up but forgot to tell the characters. I laughed once, then shut up quick. Didn’t expect to feel anything, honestly.

The transitions are too slow, though. Like, you can feel the kinetic novel format dragging its feet sometimes, holding poses too long between lines. But the writing sneaks up on you - it’s not clever, but it’s self-aware enough to poke fun at itself. Elsa and Anna showing up later? Total chaos. The kind of chaos that makes you question who’s actually in control - the player, the “director,” or the girls themselves just deciding they’re done pretending. There’s one scene - you’ll know when you see it - where everything goes from soft kisses to something much rougher, and you can practically hear the line snapping between “curious” and “corrupted.” And yeah, the POV angles are shameless, but that’s kind of the point. It’s not pretending to be art, even when it accidentally becomes it for a frame or two.

What sticks isn’t the sex (though, okay, the anal bit was animated way too well for a parody). It’s that weird emotional aftertaste - like watching a bootleg Disney ending where nobody gets redeemed, they just get *real*. The soundtrack fades out, the light lingers on sweat-slick skin, and you realize the game never promised catharsis, just exposure. And somehow, that’s more honest than most “serious” adult titles trying to act profound.

Star Trainer looks like it was made by someone who really liked that cartoon and then got horny halfway through and never fully recovered. You start out thinking “ok, funny parody, some silly dialogue,” and five minutes later you’re already dragging Star around, poking at menus, trying to figure out what makes her blush, what pisses her off, what secretly turns her on. It’s not subtle. She’s got huge tits squeezed into these outfits that are definitely not from the show, and the whole “training” thing is basically you slowly twisting her from goofy magical girl into your private little perv project. The best part is when you find that one option in the training screen that you didn’t expect to do much and suddenly she reacts way harder than you thought, like “oh, fuck, she liked that?” and then your brain flips from “haha parody” to “ok I’m gonna break this girl completely.” The writing swings between dumb jokes and straight-up filthy lines, which weirdly works. One time I clicked through a couple of dialogue branches too fast while half-watching a YouTube video and suddenly she was kneeling, totally naked, saying something so nasty I had to pause the video on my second monitor because my focus just vanished.

It feels janky in spots, but in a good way, like some horny passion project and not corporate porn. Interface is kind of chaotic, some buttons feel like they were slapped in at the last second, and the pacing of the “training” jumps around: sometimes you grind stats, sometimes you hit a scene that’s way more hardcore than you expected at that point. There was a moment where I tried to push her too far, just spamming the more degrading choices, and she snapped a bit, giving me this pissed-off reaction instead of the usual shy “ok” stuff. I honestly thought I broke the game and was low-key annoyed, went to Discord on my phone to complain while the scene was still on, then came back and realized it had actually opened a different path with more intense scenes later. I kinda hated it. Then I kept doing it. There’s also this milf angle hiding in there that I didn’t notice at first because I was too busy harassing Star, and when it opened up I just went “oh, shit” and switched routes without thinking. The game clearly wants you to be a total asshole sometimes, and if you lean into that, the sex scenes get way dirtier, more humiliating, more “trainer” in the bad sense. It’s not romantic, it’s not soft, it’s like you’re dragging these big-boobed cartoon girls down into your own porn brain. But yeah, I still booted it again after closing the tab and pretending I was done with it.

This thing starts like some weird horny déjà vu for anyone who ever wasted half their life in Animal Crossing, except here the game finally admits what your brain was already doing. You’re not organizing cute little villages, you’re on a train with a thick-ass neko waifu who looks like she escaped from a fanart folder on someone’s second hard drive. Clover acts all bubbly and casual at first, like she’s just this friendly catgirl who wants to chat about the town and your new “life” and all that. But the way she leans in, the way her tits keep taking over the whole screen like they’re trying to sign a treaty with your face, you know exactly where this is going. And it doesn’t pretend otherwise for long.

The whole thing is basically one long, horny train ride where your choices decide just how badly you want to ruin that cute persona of hers. You pick simple dialogue options, nothing pretentious, and every tiny decision shifts her vibe from shy waifu energy to “ok, rail me behind this seat and don’t stop.” It’s funny, because the game tries to act wholesome for like two minutes. She mentions normal stuff, maybe talks about moving, little small talk. Then one answer from you and suddenly her tail’s twitching, she’s blushing, her boobs are pushed together so tight you could probably park a Switch between them. I was playing on Chrome with Discord open in the background and I actually tabbed away once because it felt too damn intimate for a browser window. And I liked it. And I also kinda hated that I liked it that much.

When the sex scenes kick in, they don’t mess around. It’s not some artsy fade to black, it’s Clover bent over in that tiny train seat, big ass up, ears twitching while she tries to keep her voice down and absolutely fails. Doggystyle in public transport should honestly be its own genre. She goes from teasing to downright filthy pretty fast, calling you out, begging for it, moaning like she forgot there are other passengers “somewhere” on this imaginary train. The rougher you push it, the more she melts, and there’s this nice twisted contrast where she still has that cute village-game style charm but she’s getting pounded like hentai main course. I really loved how reactive she feels, and at the same time I kinda wished there were more girls, more locations, more scenes. But also, if they add more I’ll complain I liked it better when it was just me and this one clingy catgirl ruining public transport forever. That’s the worst part actually: after you’re done, normal Animal Crossing feels weirdly naked and boring, and now every time I see a cheerful NPC on a train in any game, part of my brain expects them to climb into my lap and pretend it’s still “just talking.”