You know what's weird? I downloaded this thinking it'd be another cheap cash-grab using stolen assets, but honestly... there's something oddly charming about how janky everything feels. Like, you've got Bowsette right next to Tsunade having coffee while Android 18 complains about her hair, and somehow it works? The whole thing runs on Koikatsu cards which means the character models look decent enough, though don't expect AAA polish here.

The dating sim mechanics are pretty straightforward - you pick a girl from this massive roster spanning everything from My Hero Academia to Dragon Ball to fucking Vocaloid characters, then try to sweet-talk your way into their pants. Some conversations feel genuinely funny, especially when the writers clearly had no idea what they were doing with certain franchises. Watching Frieren act like a horny teenager is... an experience. The sex scenes range from vanilla missionary with Princess Peach to some wild tentacle stuff with monster girls, and yeah, there's plenty of titfucking and footjobs if that's your thing. Oral scenes are animated well enough, though the physics can get wonky.

What really got me though was stumbling across this random voyeurism scenario with Komi-san where you're basically just watching through a window, and it felt more intimate than half the actual sex scenes. The game doesn't take itself seriously at all - you'll have Harley Quinn making Batman references during foreplay while Yor Forger somehow ended up in the same room discussing assassination techniques. It's absolutely ridiculous and I kept playing just to see what bizarre crossover would happen next. Sure, the UI looks like it was designed in 2005 and sometimes characters clip through each other during the steamier moments, but there's something endearing about this chaotic mess of anime waifus all existing in the same horny universe.

Ninja Island feels like somebody mashed together a horny doujin circle, an old GBA-era RPG and a browser porn tab they forgot to close, then said “yeah ok ship it”. In a good way, mostly. You start as this not-very-subtle male ninja, dumped on an island where every other ninja girl looks like she escaped from some crossover Discord server: big tits, tight outfits that are basically one sneeze away from falling off, and that whole “I could kill you or ride you” vibe. There’s a story about some secret technique and rival clans, but honestly the real plot is “how many ways can you get these kunoichi naked without immediately dying”. The game kind of knows that, and leans into it.

It’s a classic turn based RPG on paper. You move from area to area, run into patrols of busty ninjas, and fights trigger like normal encounters. First time I ran into this blue-haired swordswoman, she pinned my character to a tree in a cutscene and groped him for “searching for weapons”. That escalated into a full-on forced titfuck scene as a “punishment” for trespassing. After that you unlock a special stance in combat where your skills change to more pervy stuff, like grapples that lower their “shame” instead of HP. The usual “attack, skill, item, defend” thing is there, but half the skills clearly exist so the girl ends up with her outfit ripped off, dripping, and moaning while still trying to stab you. Lose on purpose and you get a different H scene, win and you usually get to fuck them after breaking their will, with that whole corruption angle the game is obsessed with. Some of the scenes get pretty rough too, with actual ***, group assaults, and multiple penetration scenes when you piss off a whole squad of enemy kunoichi and they decide to “take turns” on you out of frustration. The POV shots during creampies are kind of hot, even if the censorship is annoying as hell. They blur the important bits and you just sit there knowing exactly what is happening, but still, it hits different when they show your character grabbing a ninja’s hair while she drools and gives that stupid ahegao look as you finish deep inside her. There’s also a cam-style event where one of the girls uses a magic mirror like it’s OnlyFans, performing handjobs and oral on you for her “followers” while you desperately try to focus on the quest text. I still think the UI sound for opening the menu is way too loud and it’s driving me crazy, and the game is never going to fix that.

What’s interesting from a gamification side is how they tie your kink progression to actual leveling. Each girl basically has her own mini route. At first she treats you like trash, slaps your hands away when you try to grope her, or forces you to watch as she “examines” you and humiliates you. As you win fights and trigger scenes, she gets more corrupted, starts asking for sex instead of pretending it’s an accident, and later you unlock stuff like public exhibition quests where she walks around the village in half-open ninja gear, pretending it’s “camouflage” while random NPCs comment on her tits. One moment I was in a serious boss fight against a busty captain, carefully managing skills and items, and then suddenly the fight shifts into a scripted H phase where she orders her subordinates to hold me down and we get a full bukkake scene as she rides me in front of them. Then it throws you back into battle like nothing happened and you still have to finish her off. The pacing is kind of a mess, and the censorship kills the mood sometimes, but the rhythm of “battle, tease, grab, fuck, level up” ends up working. They even give different skills if you choose more domination options versus letting the girls sexually harass and use you first, which is such a dumb smart detail for a porn RPG. There’s a lot of rough stuff, actual *** scenes mixed with consensual corruption, big tits smashing into the screen, and enough creampie and group sex to make your browser history look like evidence. The island itself is just a backdrop for horny ninja power leveling, and honestly, it does that job way too well.

You fall asleep after a dumb anime binge and suddenly you’re not in your crappy room scrolling Twitter anymore, you’re standing in some wild, color-soaked version of the Dragon Ball world, staring straight at Videl who looks way too good for someone you just “met.” She gives you that suspicious glare, but she still helps you out, which is hilarious, because five minutes later you’re checking out her ass while she pretends not to notice. The game plays it like a dating sim but lazier in a fun way. You wander around this sandbox map, bump into familiar faces in bikinis that never existed in canon, and the story just shrugs and goes “yeah, he’s from another world, whatever, now go flirt.” There’s a weird charm to how it doesn’t care. One moment you’re talking about Ki and training, next moment you’re getting your dick sucked behind some random building because you picked the “annoying but bold” dialogue option.

Videl is your first “anchor,” but she’s not the only one waiting to ruin your sleep schedule. Chi-Chi shows up with that permanent “I’m tired of Goku’s bullshit” energy, except this time she actually notices you. It’s messed up how satisfying it is to slowly push her from strict mom mode into needy, half-naked mess in the kitchen, while she pretends she’s only interested in your “training.” You’re doing push-ups and her tits are just... there. The game loves to make you grind little scenes with teasing before it lets anything serious happen. Bikini scenes at the beach where you’re obviously staring at her chest, “accidental” gropes when you’re helping with groceries, her trying to scold you while you can see she’s wet. When she finally drops to her knees, it feels earned and also completely stupid because you know you just clicked through a dozen goofy dialogue boxes to get there. Oral sex scenes are animated just enough to make your brain shut up and let the caveman part take over. Vaginal scenes too, with those slow, repeatable loops you end up watching way longer than you admit.

Then there’s the fanservice parade. Bulma playing horny scientist again, but this time you’re the experiment. Android 18 pretending she doesn’t care, then blushing when you push the right option, like a tsundere with super strength who also happens to have ridiculous tits. Pan shows up older, obviously, with that smug “I’m stronger than you” attitude that turns into you pinning her to a wall because she wanted to “test your stamina.” Erasa appears for like five minutes and it’s just enough to remember why every high school perv loved her. Bulla rocks a bikini that should be illegal and the game just rolls with it. You wander around, trigger small events, build “affection,” peek at them changing, grab a kiss here, a blowjob there, and then suddenly you’re balls-deep in a girl who could casually vaporize a city. It never fully pretends to be serious romance, but it throws in just enough sweet moments, like sharing food with Elizabeth from that other anime world cameo, or teasing Android 21 about her cooking while she leans over the counter, ass in your face, to keep you hooked. The whole thing feels like some horny fever dream where a bored mobile dev mashed Dragon Ball, Seven Deadly Sins, and random waifu culture together, forgot half the rules, and accidentally made something you keep coming back to “for just one more scene.”