You start as this Marine captain who is supposed to be big deal, “justice of the sea” and all that, and in first ten minutes you already fucked up hard. Straw Hat crew slips through your fingers, higher ups are pissed, and suddenly your glorious career turns into doing dirty side jobs in weird corners of the Grand Line. Except here “dirty” is really about tits and asses, not paperwork. The game plays like someone glued together a horny quiz night, a cheap logic puzzle app you’d open on the toilet, and a One Piece parody where every female character somehow forgot what bras are. One moment you’re juggling domino-style puzzles to complete a mission report, next moment you’re watching Tashigi pressed up against a desk, glasses crooked, moaning with that ahegao face like she just discovered what “special interrogation” really means.

It doesn’t pretend to be subtle. You get a whole sandbox vibe where you wander around port towns and bases, talk shit to the girls, tease them, fail, grind reputation, then suddenly everything pays off and you’re balls-deep in some Marine office with creampie CGs looping in nice little animations. Captain Tashigi acts strict at first, all “regulations this, regulations that”, then after a few tasks and a dumb little puzzle where you line up crates like domino pieces, she’s the one begging you to “discipline” her, sword belt half off, tits bouncing in your face. Hina shows up as this icy officer who can literally cage you, and somehow that turns into a trainer-style situation where you’re the one “training” her body in return for getting your rank back. Black Cage Hina’s scenes are fun because she acts like she’s in control while you are rearranging her holes like it’s a combat formation. Not realistic Marine procedure, but yeah.

Then you run into the Baroque Works girls. Miss Valentine and Mikita, Miss Doublefinger, Paula, all that crew, and the game just leans into the parody hard. Mikita with that lazy grin sitting on your lap, grinding that big ass against you as some stupid courier mini-task pops up on screen that you kinda ignore because her tits are right there. Miss Doublefinger’s poison spider tricks get turned into a sex thing with webs, positions, and a “you’ll die if you pull out” joke that the game absolutely takes too far. Zala shows up under one name, then the game calls her something slightly wrong later, like it forgot its own script, and somehow that made me laugh more than the actual jokes. Sadi and little Sadi from Impel Down bring the real kink: whips, teasing, anal scenes where they “punish” you for losing a turn-based fight, but the punishment looks a lot like reward. You’re supposed to care about combat stats and moves, yet half the time you’re just pressing attack, waiting to see which sex scene unlocks if you lose. Everything feels slightly messy, like a horny fan’s notebook turned into a mobile game, and that’s kind of the charm. Sometimes the humor hits, sometimes it falls flat on its face, but when your captain ends up with a full harem of big tits, big asses and brainless grins from too much oral and vaginal “interrogation”, you sort of forget the plot was about justice at all.