Samus already had my attention when I saw “lost a fight” and “humiliated in front of everyone” in one line. It hits that really trashy fantasy button where the strong, proud heroine just gets absolutely ruined, and yeah, it’s messed up and that’s why I clicked. You start right after she’s beaten, all suited up in that iconic armor, but it’s useless now, she’s not the badass bounty hunter here, just a toy. Crowd around, arena vibe, like a twisted Smash Bros match that nobody on Twitch is allowed to see. Charizard is not some cute little fire lizard here, he’s a full on hentai monster with a cock way too big for any kind of real logic, and the game doesn’t pretend to be realistic. That part I liked, actually. If I’m watching Samus get *** by a dragon, I’m not here for realism anyway.

What really got me was how they lean hard into the anal angle first, like her ass is the main event, not just a bonus. She’s bending over, still wearing parts of that blue suit, ass exposed, trying to keep her dignity, while this huge dragon pokes his head between her cheeks, and she knows exactly what’s going to happen. There’s no soft romance build up, no “are you sure?” Just raw domination. He shoves into her ass in one brutal push, and you get this kind of ugly, hot mix of pain and forced pleasure. She’s trying to keep her face strong but you see the moment her eyes roll a bit, and that fucked me up in a good way. She was always this cold, untouchable blonde warrior and now she’s gasping and moaning while this Pokémon breaks her backdoor. You get pussy shots too, with his balls slapping against her, wetness dripping even though storywise she “should” hate it, and that dirty contradiction made it hotter for me. I say I prefer consent, but then I’m here jerking to a dragon pounding Samus until she can’t stand. So I don’t know, my morals are a bit lost.

Later he flips her, uses her pussy too, and that’s when the whole “won’t stop until he cums inside” part really kicks in. You see his fat tip stretching her, sliding in and out, Samus biting her lip and shaking, like she wants to push him away but her legs stay open anyway. They really make the creampie feel like a goal: his thrusts get faster, her voice gets more desperate and high pitched, and when he finally unloads, it just spills out of her, both from her ass and her pussy, white dripping everywhere, like he’s marking a new territory right in the middle of a Nintendo arena. It’s nasty in a very specific way, like watching your childhood cartridges get thrown in a blender full of porn mags. I kinda wish they played a silly Smash announcer voice in the background saying something like “Samus defeated!” or whatever, but they don’t, and I kept waiting for some little game sound that never came. Even so, the whole thing feels like a dirty secret page torn from a hentai doujin you shouldn’t be reading at all, but you keep going back to it when horny and lonely and tired of swiping left on fucking Tinder. Honestly, if your brain is wired like mine where “strong blonde space hunter gets turned into a breeding toy by a giant dragon” pushes your buttons, this thing crawls under your skin in the worst possible way and refuses to leave.

Samus Aran stands before you, her eyes locked on yours as she prepares to deliver the most intense boobjob you’ve ever experienced. You get to select between two tantalizing outfits for her, or opt to see her luscious breasts completely nude, teasing and tempting you. Feel her heavy breasts envelop you as she moves with expert precision, her touch driving you wild with every squeeze and rub. This isn’t just a show; you’re in command of every delicious second of this steamy session. Design your own cumshot, making it as long and intense as you want to reward her with an explosive finish. Experience everything from your own eyes, feeling like you’re truly there as she worships you with her breasts. Her golden locks fall softly as she focuses on you, her expression a mix of desire and satisfaction that pulls you further in. Though brief, the animation packs a powerful punch of filthy fun featuring a beloved character in a new, risqué light. Choose your look, adjust your climax, and surrender to the overwhelming pleasure that only Samus can provide.

Feels like some cursed flash game I found in a dirty corner of Newgrounds long time ago, just this one actually knows what it wants: you’re the damn tentacle beast and Samus is the snack. No story walls, no fake morality, just straight to hunting the blonde bounty hunter through this little arena where everything is about timing and greed. First thing that surprised me: it’s basically a mini tug-of-war of “who fucks up first”, and usually it’s you. You smack her with a tentacle, strip a piece, think you’re a genius, then suddenly she blasts one of your “important” limbs because you picked the wrong one to shield and you’re sitting there like an idiot, naked in all the wrong ways. It’s stupidly simple, and also I sat staring at the screen for like ten rounds whispering “don’t dodge, don’t dodge” every time I pressed attack. And of course she dodged. Half the fun is in that tiny delay where you already clicked and can’t take it back and watch your bad decision happen in slow motion. Felt like old browser games where you learned the rules by getting punished, again and again, but this time the punishment is just “no tits for you yet”. Cruel but fair. Actually not fair, but still.

The whole stripping rhythm hits that teenage nostalgia in my head. Piece by piece you peel that iconic armor off her, and even if I already saw a thousand porn mods of her on Reddit, this one still got me because you have to earn every bit of skin. Helmet off. Shoulders gone. Chest plate cracked open. Her suit feels heavier each round, you kind of hear the old Metroid sounds in your brain while you watch her get more and more exposed. At the same time she’s not helpless at all, she’s this pissed-off anime blonde, eyes sharp, like she knows she’s in a hentai game and hates you for it, and that makes it hotter. I liked that you can’t just spam attack like a monkey. You attack, then have to choose which tentacle will block her shot. Pick wrong, she melts that limb and your whole plan dies. It’s a simple “click here, then here” loop, but once you’re close to stripping everything, your brain starts overthinking every click. My Chrome history looks shameful, my mouse hand sweaty, my other hand also busy, and somehow I still cared about not losing because defeat sends you back to the start with all the clothes on again and that actually hurts more than any bad ending. The final sex scenes you unlock are filthy in a very direct, old-school hentai way: full-on tentacle wrapping, her body twisted and pinned, face going from pissed to overwhelmed, suit just a memory, skin shining like some artist spent too many nights pausing original Metroid art for “research”. It’s rough, it’s not subtle at all, and I loved it, even though I’m absolutely going to pretend I didn’t bookmark it.

This thing feels like someone ripped open the horny part of a Wii-era kid brain and just poured it straight into a browser window. No story, no "context", just that raw, silly, kind of guilty fantasy of Nintendo icons getting railed, and the game doesn’t pretend to be anything else. You load it up, and bam: there’s Samus, there’s Peach, Daisy, Shantae, a random blonde or two with ridiculous boobs and a cock that looks like it escaped from a hentai lab. It’s like that moment when you’re scrolling through Pixiv on your phone in the bathroom and suddenly all your search history stands in front of you and says: "Pick one." There’s no menu fluff, no lore, no foreplay. You just poke around with number keys and arrows like you’re trying secret cheats, and every wrong press turns out to be another sex pose. Honestly I kinda liked that, it feels a bit like button-mashing in Smash, but instead of a combo you accidentally trigger Peach choking on a monster dick from a POV angle that’s so close it feels like she’s breathing into your face.

The camera is always hungry. POV in this thing doesn’t try to be realistic, it’s more like a porn director glued to the crotch. You hop to Samus and the first thought is "oh, they really didn’t care about canon armor sizes, huh." Her tits are huge, shiny, fake in a very porn-y way, and that’s exactly why it works. Then you click around a bit and suddenly you’re behind her, watching that big cock slam into her ass while her ponytail swings like it’s got its own physics engine, and the only thing going through your head is: "Nintendo would set this on fire." Same with Shantae, they went full curvy idol with her, hips like she’s smuggling pillows, bouncing in a rhythm that doesn’t quite match the thrusts but somehow that off-beat wobble is the hottest part. It’s messy, like an amateur remix on SoundCloud where some guy looped a moan and forgot to line up the tempo, yet that weirdness makes it feel more alive. You know how in Pornhub comments people complain about stupid shit like "the bed squeak killed my vibe"? Here I had the opposite thing: one tiny clipping issue with a cock going through Peach’s thigh and I couldn’t stop watching it, like my brain turned it into some mutant kink. You’re cycling poses, sometimes they repeat, sometimes they’re almost the same angle but with a little extra bounce or a different way the boobs slump, and you get this cheap, trashy variety that’s weirdly addictive. It’s not polished, half of it feels tossed together, some transitions are awkward as fuck, but the whole time you’re basically doing what everyone secretly wants from a crossover anyway: swap between princesses, stare at their ridiculous curves, and keep pressing keys until you land on the exact frame where that oversized cock hits just right and your brain shuts up.