So this game basically throws you onto some magical anime girl island after you get horny and follow some chick with a fat ass - yeah that's literally the setup and honestly? It works. Don't Toy With Me is one of those sandbox harem deals where you're surrounded by every waifu you've ever jerked off to, from Hinata's massive tits to Zero Two's perfect curves. The whole thing feels like someone's wet dream made manifest, which I guess it literally is according to the dev.

The variety is insane though - you got your shy Hinata types, your bratty Nagatoro energy, thicc One Piece girls like Robin and Nami, plus a bunch of others I recognized but can't remember the names of right now. Each girl has their own little personality quirks and the interactions feel pretty natural for what they are. Like when you're chatting with Nagatoro she's actually being a teasing bitch instead of just generic anime girl #47. The sex scenes are animated which is nice, lots of titfucks and creampies and the usual stuff you'd expect. Some of the girls look a bit young but that's anime for you I guess? The ahegao faces during climax scenes are chef's kiss though.

What bugs me is the school setting feels kinda pointless - like why am I attending classes when I could be railing Yoruichi instead? But then again maybe that's the point, building up tension before you get to the good stuff. The mobile version runs smooth on my phone which is surprising since most of these games lag like hell. There's this whole mystery about how you ended up there but honestly who gives a shit when Erza Scarlett wants to fuck your brains out. The sandbox element means you can basically choose your own adventure with whoever catches your eye that day. Sometimes I wish there was more story but then Esdeath shows up and suddenly I don't care about plot anymore.

Crossunder Academy looks at you and goes, “yeah, you’re the new kid, you don’t know shit, but here, have power anyway.” You roll in thinking it’s just another school VN with some tits glued on, and then they throw you into the Student Council and suddenly you’re the class president, fake tie, fake responsibilities, and very real chances to fuck half the campus if you don’t screw it up. It starts tame, like a dating sim pretending to be serious: club budgets, school events, that kind of filler. Then you figure out every boring “proposal” conversation is basically foreplay. The shy club rep who wants more money for “equipment” leans over your desk a bit too far, blouse a little too tight, and you’ve got the classic choice pop-up: act professional, tease her, or slide right into horny territory and test how far she’s willing to go to get that funding. You know which one you click. Don’t lie.

The fun part is how it mixes the puzzle feeling with porn without turning into some clicker trash. You’re not matching gems or anything stupid like that, you’re juggling scenes. Say the wrong thing to one girl and she gets jealous when you’re alone with her teacher later, and suddenly that nice slow blowjob under the desk becomes “sorry, I can’t, people will talk.” Say the right thing and the same teacher is on her knees, glasses fogged up, working your cock like she’s grading on a curve. Some routes feel like you’re solving a horny jigsaw puzzle with horny pieces. You’re planning event schedules while secretly thinking, “ok, if Hermione-clone student nerd and that thick aunt-looking lunch lady are both there, can I push them into some exhibitionist shit?” and sometimes the game actually lets you pull it off. There are moments where the camera settles into POV and it’s just you, her big tits pressed right into the frame, your cock between them for a messy titfuck, and the sound design goes from cartoony to “oh, someone actually cared here.” Then next scene a different girl is doing this ahegao face like she’s auditioning for a meme compilation and it almost kills the mood, but you keep clicking because, well, creampie counter is not going to fill itself.

It leans hard into the fantasy faculty and campus girls archetypes. You’ve got the prim bookworm who clearly wants to be ruined in the library after hours, the fake innocent student council girl who’s absolutely into groping behind closed doors, the curvy “tradwife” type who talks about cooking and chores while riding you raw, and that one busty older woman that might as well have “MILF” written on her forehead. Half the time you’re trying to act like a respectable president in meetings, half the time you’re lining up which corridor to “inspect” so you can corner someone and see how far she’ll go if the hallway cameras are “mysteriously” off. There’s teasing everywhere, a little too much sometimes: she’s in your lap, skirt hiked up, grinding on you, moaning in your ear about how wrong it is in a school setting, and the scene still stalls until you pick the right dialog line before it lets you finally push inside. When it does click though, the game doesn’t flinch: deep throat, sloppy oral, thick ass bouncing in your lap, cum inside, cum outside, cum on her face while she’s making that stupid cross-eyed expression. It’s messy, a bit goofy, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky as fuck, but it feels like an actual degenerate school fantasy where your choices matter just enough to make you paranoid you missed one more filthy route.

Every time someone thinks they’ve seen it all in adult games, something like this lands on my screen and ruins my emotional equilibrium for a week. The title doesn’t tempt so much as it threatens, whispering that sort of “you won’t survive this, champ” energy. I went in expecting cheap smut; came out feeling like the game had crawled into my DMs and roasted me in front of everyone. You start as this soft little guy (the type who apologizes to his reflection) surrounded by girls who don’t just steal your dignity - they borrow it like a lighter, forget to return it, and then post stories about it. It’s filthy, but it knows it’s filthy, and somehow that makes it worse. I loved it. Or hated it. I’m still not sure.

What kills me is how funny it gets at the worst possible moments. Like, you’re halfway through this intense humiliation arc - Makima’s voice in your ear, a camera glitch flashing like divine judgment - and suddenly there’s this dumb pop-up referencing old memes that no one should remember. It breaks the tension just enough to make you snort, then it slaps you with another round of moaning audio so realistically mixed it makes your phone warm. Sometimes the choices feel meaningless, but maybe that’s the point? The dev clearly hates you, or loves you too much, or both. And don’t get me started on the night scene with Gwen Stacy - it’s not even about her, it’s about that tiny moral failure leaking from every pixel. You blink, and suddenly everyone is naked, cruel, and somehow emotionally devastating.

I’m giving it my personal “Best Game To Make You Question Your Internet Habits” award. Because between the absurd power plays, the totally unnecessary pregnancy subplot nobody asked for, and the occasional dialog line that sounds like a drunk AI philosopher, this thing dances between parody and therapy session. I tried to hate it but couldn’t; it’s just too confident in its own madness. Every edge feels like a dare. And yeah, I still hear her voice. Not sure that’s healthy.

This thing hits you in the face right away. You open it and the game just starts calling you a pathetic virgin like it knows what tabs you had open before. Male protagonist, first year uni in late 90s Wales, stuck in that ugly campus mix of shitty carpet, nicotine stains, and horny brain. Everyone thinks you will die alone, and frankly the game agrees. Then the goth girl walks in like a walking middle finger to your self-esteem. Tall, boots, chains, black lipstick that looks like it tastes of smoke and cheap vodka. She is not your cute “secretly soft” goth. She is full female domination mode. She enjoys humiliating you, and the game really lets her. Public teasing in hallways, denial until you literally beg, exhibitionism moments where she pushes you close to being seen, and then pulls away only to grind on someone actually confident while you watch from the corner. If you hate netorare, this is a hate crime. If you like it, you will have your hand on your phone more than on your textbook.

What caught me off guard is how the corruption is not only sexual but social. The more you let her step on you, the more other people on campus join the act, and the POV stuff gets nasty. You see her big ass riding someone else through a cracked door while you are forced to hold her bag like an idiot. Or she sends you pics of her sucking off a dude from the football team, with your unread essays visible on your desk in the background. There is voyeurism everywhere, even when you are not the viewer. Sometimes you are the thing being watched: being paraded around as the loser virgin toy in a group chat that you are not even allowed to post in. The game even throws a milf teacher at you, but in that mean way, like, you think “finally, someone kind” and suddenly you are watching her get pounded by a classmate while she grades your paper with a red pen and one hand on his abs. The humor is cruel and honestly kind of funny, like that scene where your phone autocorrects “please” to “pee” while you are begging her to let you cum, and she just runs with it in a way I am still slightly disturbed by. There is a whole mobile phone layer built into the game, with apps that feel suspiciously like WhatsApp and Instagram where you keep scrolling old chats trying to find where exactly your dignity died, then getting distracted by AI generated CG of her in a “maybe pregnant, maybe not” ending that hits way harder than it should. I still cannot forgive the tiny thing where notification sounds are slightly off from real apps and my brain kept twitching every single time, but yeah, I kept playing anyway.