So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

Tony Stark finally gets to act like Tony Stark here, not the sad movie version always saving the universe instead of getting laid. You start in this obscene luxury island mansion that looks like somebody mashed together a billionaire’s Airbnb, a secret SHIELD bunker and a nightclub from Miami that never closes. The game just drops you in as the smug asshole host of an endless “hero party”, with Gwen Stacy on the balcony checking city views, Raven pretending not to care in a dark corner, Supergirl trying to look wholesome while wearing something that would get you banned on Twitch, and you thinking about profit margins while also planning whose panties you’re gonna take off next. It sounds like a power fantasy because it is, but the fun part is how messy and horny it gets when the whole “management” part starts clashing with “I want to creampie every superheroine in this building”.

One moment I was in some fake meeting room talking business numbers with Stark’s AI, flicking through contracts like on Google Sheets, trying to keep the party budget from exploding. Five clicks later I’m in the pool area, flirting with Spider-Gwen, picking joke options about web shooters that really should not have worked, and suddenly the dialogue goes from snarky to filthy real fast. It has that thing where your choices stack up quietly, so after a few shameless lines and one badly timed compliment about her ass, she still ends up in your room casually stroking you through your pants like it’s just another Tuesday. The game treats handjobs as just a warm-up, not some big event, which is kinda funny because they animate it like it’s a ceremony. And when she finally climbs on top and you choose whether to pull out or fill her up, the game actually reacts in later scenes with her being a little more clingy, or weirdly sarcastic about you not knocking her up. I picked creampie first time just because the button was bright and I have zero self control, then spent the next in-game day sweet talking her like I didn’t basically turn her into my personal breeding experiment.

What I liked a lot is how the heroines don’t feel copy-paste. Raven is cold and slow to open up, which makes it absolutely priceless when she goes from passive-aggressive spell girl to pressing her soaked panties into your hand in the training room. Supergirl acts like she’s above normal horniness, until you catch her alone on the terrace and push a bit harder, then suddenly she’s begging you to fuck her like some random fan, not a symbol of hope. Black Cat and Wonder Woman show up later and kinda blow up whatever “plan” you had, since they respond better when you act even more arrogant than usual. There was this stupid moment where I promised Scarlet Witch I’d help with some experiment, completely forgot, spent the night pounding She-Hulk in the gym shower, and then had to deal with Wanda throwing me this jealous, half-psycho magic tantrum while still obviously wanting my dick. The tone is all over the place in a good way: one room you’re talking business strategy like a tycoon game, next room you’re raw-dogging a superheroine on Stark-branded bedsheets, hoping the AI doesn’t comment. It’s horny, dumb, strangely clever sometimes, and absolutely not interested in making you feel like a good person. Which is kind of the point when you’re running a never-ending party where every hero girl eventually ends up naked and breathing hard into your ear.

It’s strange how this one tries to pretend it’s a parody while actually getting way too sincere halfway through. You start thinking it’s just cheap fanservice - Mavis smirking in that hotel corridor, Katara leaning against the pool edge - but then, out of nowhere, the dialogues start sounding like somebody’s diary. My English isn’t perfect, but even I can tell when a line hits too real. The Ren’Py interface is fine, though I got stuck trying to adjust the text speed; the button hides behind a translucent menu that looks nice but messes with screen readers. I use NVDA sometimes, and it freaked out completely during the Starfire route. Accessibility zero points there, sorry. But then again, when you’re watching Raven blush and mutter something filthy under her breath, you kind of don’t care about menus anymore.

At first, I thought the 3D models looked stiff; then I noticed how the camera lingers - not on obvious parts, but the small gestures, fingers twitching, eyes half-closed, that moment before someone decides “yeah, I want this.” It’s erotic, yes, but also messy, human. And yet, sometimes, it feels like the devs wanted to prove they could make emotional porn, only to end up making emotional confusion. Kim Possible calling you “hero” right after a scene that’s absolutely not heroic? Weirdly funny. Like the game knows it’s broken and leans into it. I swear one of the background tracks loops a single moan for ten minutes - thought my browser crashed. Didn’t. Just art, apparently.

Also, can we talk about Gwen’s route? She keeps referencing tech stuff that doesn’t exist, like “I’ll hack your desire protocol,” which sounds dumb until she actually pulls off an in-game stat change mid-dialogue. That moment made me laugh so hard I forgot what I was doing. Maybe that’s the point. It’s clumsy, horny, self-aware, and frustrating all at once. There’s no polish, but there’s personality dripping from every busted transition. I hate it. I think I love it. I don’t even know anymore.

You show up at this weirdly quiet place called Camp Pinewood, expecting some normal summer job, maybe a few brats and some boring chores, and instead you walk into this fever dream where every girl from your old cartoons apparently decided to grow curves, lose shame, and hang around half-dressed. No dudes anywhere. Just you, one confused but very horny guy, surrounded by faces you recognize from way too many childhood afternoons, now asking for “help” with things that have nothing to do with camp activities. It feels wrong for like five seconds, then someone bends over a little too far and your brain just shuts up. One minute you’re talking to Gwen who’s pretending she’s here for “training,” the next her top just happens to slip when you raise her affection and suddenly you’re in this loop of checking every corner of the camp like some degenerate detective. Is there a mystery? Kind of. You’re supposed to investigate what’s going on, but half of that “investigation” is walking into a cabin and catching someone like Velma “studying” on the bed with her tits about to fall out of her shirt, or Stephanie bouncing around with that fake-innocent Lazy Town vibe, short skirt riding up way too high. The game knows exactly what it’s doing when it leaves a door half open so you can spy on Daphne stripping down in front of the mirror, like it’s totally normal camp behavior.

What I like is how the horny stuff doesn’t drop on you all at once. It starts pretty tame, just teasing and flirting, then suddenly you’re juggling dates with Clover from Totally Spies, Gwen, Raven, and maybe Francine hanging around acting like some hot stepmom who wants to “talk” about your progress. Some scenes are just silly, like Lola Bunny deciding she needs “private coaching” and ending up on her knees with your cock between those big cartoon lips, while you’re thinking, yeah, Space Jam hit different. Then other moments go way harder than you expect. One second it’s a blowjob under the trees, next moment you’ve got Starfire all eager-to-please, asking what else humans like, and you’re pushing into her tight ass while she moans something about “learning Earth customs.” There’s proper variety too: titfucks with huge-soft-ridiculous racks, handjobs that turn into messy oral, classic pussy pounding with big asses grinding on you, and those scenes where the girl pretends she “didn’t know” you were watching her play with herself and then just keeps going, because voyeurism is basically the camp’s unofficial sport. Some routes lean more into male domination, with you pressing a girl against the wall, pulling her hair, making her strip piece by piece, others feel more like romance gone very, very off the rails, like slow-burn moments with someone like Wendy, where you kiss first and end up fucking her senseless on a cabin bed while the campfire crackles outside. It’s trashy and nostalgic and wrong and hot at the same time, like scrolling through your old Saturday-morning lineup and realizing every single one of them is now trying to climb onto your lap.