It’s weird how this game starts off like a fever dream you didn’t consent to but end up craving more of. You wake up in this messy, melting place that looks half like a memory and half like someone’s dirty imagination spilled onto a screen. The characters - yeah, those familiar faces you probably shouldn’t be seeing this way - don’t act like themselves, not really. Yoruichi looks at you like she already knows what you’re thinking, and Ruby’s voice trembles just a little too much when she says she trusts you. It’s not the usual “click to seduce” garbage; it’s slower, stickier. You make choices that feel small, but then, hours later, they hit you like a gut punch. I kept thinking I’d play it “the good way,” but every time the game whispered something darker, I followed. Maybe that’s the point - it doesn’t punish you for being curious, it just watches you unravel.

There’s this one scene - I won’t spoil it, but it’s with Tatsumaki - and it made me pause, not because it was shocking, but because it felt too intimate for a parody. The camera lingers in uncomfortable ways, not to show off, but to make you complicit. It’s like the devs knew that the real kink isn’t just control, it’s guilt. And then Weiss shows up, completely breaking the tone with her ice-princess attitude, and somehow that makes it hotter. The writing isn’t perfect; sometimes the dialogue feels like it got lost in translation, but that roughness makes it better. Too smooth and it’d lose the tension.

What bugs me though - tiny thing - the dream logic sometimes eats itself. You’ll be in a scene dripping with tension, and suddenly the background melts into something else, no warning. But then, maybe that’s what dreams do. You forget what you were doing, who you were touching, and then you’re just there, breathing, waiting for another line of text that might ruin you a little more.

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Playing as Tony Stark sounds cool on paper, but this superhero fuckfest gets messy real quick. You're basically running some tropical sex mansion where Marvel and DC girls show up to get railed, which honestly feels like someone's wet dream turned into a clunky management sim. The whole "party host" thing is whatever - you spend half your time clicking through boring business menus to afford keeping these superpowered sluts around.

Scarlet Witch shows up looking fine as hell, then Wonder Woman's there too because fuck continuity I guess. The crossover aspect is wild but makes zero sense story-wise. One minute you're banging Gwen Stacy in your high-tech bedroom, next you're dealing with Raven from Teen Titans who apparently teleported from a completely different universe. Storm gets some decent scenes but the writing for her is trash. She-hulk's proportions are completely fucked up in a good way though. Black Cat steals the show with her seduction scenes - developers clearly spent more time on her animations than anyone else. Supergirl acts way too innocent for someone who's supposedly partying at Tony Stark's sex island.

The dating sim mechanics are broken as shit. You seduce these heroines through the most basic dialogue trees, then boom - straight to hardcore fucking with creampies everywhere. No buildup, no personality, just "click here to fuck Batgirl." Management side involves buying upgrades for your mansion and keeping everyone happy, but it's tedious busywork between sex scenes. Spider-Gwen gets the weirdest treatment - her scenes feel rushed compared to others. The sandbox element means you can fuck around in any order, but some girls are clearly afterthoughts. Handjob animations look janky, vaginal sex varies wildly in quality depending on which character. Iron Man tech is supposed to enhance everything but mostly it's just glowing dildos and holographic porn. This gets the "Most Shameless Cash Grab Using Popular IP" award because holy shit, they really just threw every recognizable superhero pussy into one game and called it a day.