This one hits like a horny Celtic fever dream where your playlist suddenly jumps from chill lo-fi to filthy club track with heavy bass and no one knows who touched the volume. You play this immortal warrior guy who basically keeps falling into trouble with every kind of dangerous woman: proud redhead warriors who look like they could break your neck and ride your dick in the same motion, druids with glowing eyes and way too much influence over your brain, smug queens who clearly use their tits as a political tool, that kind of vibe. It starts almost noble, like you think you’re the good guy in some old legend, but after a few choices you’re already grabbing a fistful of ass in a torchlit hall and pretending it’s all part of the strategy. It feels a bit like shuffling Spotify from “epic battle music” to “sex playlist” and then never going back.

What I liked is how it doesn’t treat you like some clueless virgin, even when the game is actually about turning pure girls into not-so-pure little worshipers of your cock. You get these quiet scenes where you’re talking to a proud female warrior about honor and battle scars, then suddenly your hand is under her leather armor, she’s breathing hard, and you’re deciding if you tease her with a slow handjob or shove her to her knees and make her taste you. Sometimes the camera lingers on her lips wrapped around you with just enough movement to feel alive but not like some overproduced porn. Other times it cuts right after the creampie and you’re like hey, let me enjoy the mess a second longer, alright? There’s also this thing where your “heroic” path and your “corrupt the whole fucking pantheon” path keep mixing. One moment you’re saving a village. Next moment you’re mindfucking their druid priestess and using her as a toy in a group scene while she chants in some old tongue and still somehow finds time to swallow. I love that energy. I also hate that some of the scenes tease you with perfect set-up for proper throat abuse or rough titfuck and then just jump back to plot like the writer suddenly remembered lore is a thing. But then you get this surprisingly soft masturbation scene with a so-called untouchable milf queen, sitting by a window, touching herself while remembering how you pinned her against a stone wall and filled her, and it hits like a slow, dirty track at the end of the night. You kind of forget you were supposed to be a hero at all and just start thinking which kingdom you want to fuck into obedience next.

Jacob’s life is already a mess before his cock starts causing problems. He’s stuck in a tiny house with a mom who acts more like a drill sergeant than a parent, always on his ass about every little thing, and then the doctor drops this brilliant “you need to measure your cum every day” routine on him. It sounds like a porn setup because it basically is one, but the game plays it dead serious at first, like it’s actually medical. The first time he has to ask his mom to help because he “can’t reach the measuring cup properly” is the point where you realize this story is not going to stay innocent for long. She keeps trying to be distant and strict, snapping at him, but then you notice how long her eyes stay on his lap, or how she adjusts her blouse once his dick starts hardening through the sheets. It’s slow, but you feel it. The tension is heavy and awkward and hot, in that “I really shouldn’t be turned on by this” way.

What sells it is how much the game likes to tease. Since it’s kinetic, you’re not choosing anything, you’re just locked into watching Jacob get dragged along by events he clearly isn’t ready for. His mom is the classic thick milf: big ass that stretches her skirt when she leans over the table, tits that absolutely do not fit normal buttons, and this cold, bossy tone that just gets worse the more he admits he needs her help. That first “examination” on the bed, where she puts on these fake latex gloves like it’s a hospital, then wraps her hand around his shaft and pretends it’s “only for your health”, is exactly the kind of shit the game is good at. She starts with a basic handjob, all controlled, counting the strokes, telling him not to cum yet. When she finally lets him finish, she’s holding the cup right at the tip, watching every drop like she’s checking engine oil. You can tell she’s trying to keep her breathing normal but failing a bit. Later scenes crank it up: the titfuck on the couch when she “tests a different position”, pressing those big tits around him while keeping this cold, clinical voice, is ridiculous in the best way. And the oral scene where she “has to make sure none is wasted” after he overfills the cup is just straight up filthy, because she still pretends she’s doing him a favor while basically swallowing his entire load. The game swings between weirdly sweet moments, like Jacob desperately wanting her to actually hug him instead of just jerk him off, and full-on female domination, where she grabs his balls when he complains and tells him he’s lucky she even touches him at all. There are little romance sparks too, buried under all the taboo and guilt, which almost feels wrong in this context but also keeps you reading to see how far she’ll go and how much he’ll let her do to him.

Miserable salaryman with busted knuckles and dead eyes, that is where this thing starts. Guy was an MMA monster before, now he just rots in a cubicle, scrolling on his phone in the toilet, pretending to reply to emails while actually checking sex apps and watching pirate cosplay porn on Xvideos. Then out of nowhere, his old violence gets dragged back into the open and suddenly he is doing turn based combat in alleys and warzones instead of turn based meetings. It feels like some weird mix of One Piece fanfic, hentai trainer game, and midlife crisis simulator. One moment he is negotiating combat contracts with a cold mercenary boss, the next he is getting a titfuck from a drunk milf in a motel who has a maid uniform stuffed in her handbag for "work". The game just throws you into this mercenary underworld where everyone smiles like they know you are about to screw up your life, and it lets you manage that screw up day by day like some scuffed sandbox romance management sim that also really wants to show you ahegao.

The wild part is how much of the erotic stuff is glued directly onto the systems. You are not just picking “sex scene 1, 2, 3” from a menu. You do a mission for this pirate-inspired babe who is totally not Boa Hancock but obviously is, and if you mess up the combat, you still get a scene, but it is her sitting on your chest, calling you useless while she strokes you with just two fingers through your pants, slow teasing, no release, then she goes to fuck some higher-ranked merc behind a half-open door and you have to watch. That voyeurism thing hurts way more because it is your fault from earlier in the turn based fight where you tried to go full damage instead of guarding. When you get it right though, she climbs on your lap on the ship deck, half cosplay, half uniform, big tits bouncing, giving deep oral while complaining about your “no plan brain,” and if you choose the corruption options, she starts asking you to choke her and spit on her and eventually lets you creampie her ass while she wears that silly maid headband like it is the most normal thing. I actually laughed when the game let me switch from romantic “are you okay?” to “bend over the table” in the same phone chat log, like some unhinged dating sim.

There is also this whole NTR side that sneaks up. At first you think it is standard harem fantasy, you collect women like pirate bounty posters, from Nico-looking archaeologist type to serious older milf with big ass who runs a maid cafe as cover, and some android sex robot girl who is way too honest in her chat replies. But then the merc leader, this calm bastard, starts “helping” you train. You send one girl to work a side mission, the management screen shows she is "recovering," and later you catch a short animated scene where she is in his office, blouse open, him groping her while she is blushing, saying she only does this to get extra supplies for your squad. The game does not scream NTR at you, it just quietly lets it sit there in the log, like, yeah, she is technically still your girl, but is she? You can corrupt them in your direction too, sure, like putting the shy virgin into a maid uniform and having her kneel between your legs after a successful op, drool running down her chin during a messy blowjob, or making her use sex toys on herself in the shower while you watch from the door. But that little chance that someone else is also touching her, or that she will send you a phone selfie from a bathroom where you notice a man’s hand in the corner, gives the whole harem this dirty, unstable feeling. The game is horny as hell, full of anal, creampies, groping, vanilla sex mixed with BDSM edges, but it always ties it back to your role as this broken ex-fighter trying to control something in a world where even your own women might be getting fucked by someone stronger. And yeah, the AI CG sometimes looks a bit off, like one frame her boobs are too round or a hand is in a weird angle, but honestly, when Nico Robin lookalike is riding you in a maid cafe backroom, tongue out in full ahegao while you grip her hips and slam up into her, you will not care at all.

Christmas porn games almost never hit me in the right way. Mostly some lazy elf tits and a looped jingle that makes you want to mute your whole PC. This one actually felt like somebody drunk and horny tried to write a cheesy holiday romcom and then kept adding filth on top until it turned into a mess that somehow works. You show up in your hometown with this whole “I will fix my dad’s bar, I will be serious adult entrepreneur now” idea in your head, and five minutes later you’re basically Santa’s pervy helper, stuck in a house with three women who all have different ways to fuck with your brain and your dick. One is that soft “I remember when you were a cute kid” type, but now she bends over in yoga pants and you get these POV angles like the dev wants you to suffer. Another one is clearly trouble, all flirting and teasing, sitting on your lap “as a joke” while you try not to nut in your pants. The last one has that older woman energy, like she’s tired of the world, but every time she gives you that half smile you just know she’d ride you slow while drinking wine and pretending it’s nothing.

What I liked is how it mixes horny and stupid little holiday moments. One scene I had the dude sneaking out at night, spying through a cracked door while one of them is in this cheap sexy Santa outfit, touching herself on the couch with the tree lights blinking behind her. It’s dirty and kind of romantic at same time, which pisses me off because I came to jerk off and now my feelings are in the way. Maybe I’m just weak. The game throws these choices at you like “be a decent guy” or “grab that ass right now” and I swear sometimes the “good” choice feels more perverted because the camera lingers longer when you try to hold back. There is a handjob in front of the Christmas tree that escalates into a full blowjob and a messy mouth finish, and the way she looks up with that ahegao face is so over the top I actually laughed. Then kept clicking. Then hated myself a bit. And then clicked more. I tried to play it cool and go for slow romance at first, but the first time she presses that warm thigh against the MC under a blanket while snow falls outside, it’s like the game whispers “you’re not here for emotional growth, shut up and click the lewd choice.”

Sex scenes feel like a reward and also like a punishment. You get those nice close shots when you finally push into her, and the animation is not perfect at all, sometimes the movement looks kind of stiff, but that almost turns me on more, because it feels like a dirty fan project instead of some glossy studio thing. There is vaginal, there is anal if you push things far and play your cards like a little manipulative shit, there is this Christmas morning moment where she wakes you up with a slow blowjob that turns into you painting her face like it’s a “special gift,” and yeah, I screenshotted that. On the other side, some pacing is weird: one minute you’re having a pretty honest chat about your dead dad and the weight of the bar, next minute she’s grinding on your lap in leggings, moaning in your ear, and you’re choosing between creampie and pulling out on her back. I kinda wish the game let you be more of a voyeur for longer before things go full-on porn, but it rushes sometimes, then drags in random spots like a drunk Santa stuck in a chimney. Also there is this one Christmas jingle that loops a bit too much and now it lives rent free in my brain, like a cursed TikTok sound. Still, when she leans in, whispers she’s never done it like this before, and you watch her stretched around you from that tight POV angle, with the garland lights flickering on her skin, you forget all small problems and just go along, like an idiot who came home to fix a bar and ended up fucking half the holiday spirit instead.