Thiago is that kind of idiot you scream at through the screen and then still wanna see naked. The whole thing is built like some trashy late-night TV show that should be banned, but you keep watching anyway. You’re not the hero here, you’re more like the perv in the audience that somehow got the remote. Every “episode” throws him into another ridiculous game against some girl who looks like she walked out of an anime convention after too many tequila shots. And the rules are stupid simple: lose the game, get punished; win the game, still maybe get punished, just in a way that gives you a boner instead of trauma. It feels like a horny game show that escaped from Pornhub and learned how to talk. Dialog is all over the place, kinda meme, kinda cringe, but also exactly what I hear in my group chats, like when someone types “bro she gonna ruin your life and dick at same time” and nobody disagrees.

What really hits is how the “punishments” are never just one thing. Sometimes it’s teasing, like the girl just verbally wrecks him, steps on his pride, and uses him as emotional toilet paper. Sometimes it flips and she goes full-on sexual humiliation, making him kneel, calling him her cute little loser while she rubs his face against her tits or grinds on him like he’s furniture. And then there are moments that are almost sweet, which pisses me off more, because I came to see horny disaster, not low-key affection. One of the girls laughs at him for losing, calls him pathetic, then pets his hair and tells him he did “good enough” while pushing his head down between her legs. It’s toxic, it’s messy, it’s hot, and yeah, it kinda reminded me of that one situationship I had where Discord calls somehow turned into “show me more” at like stupid hours. The game doesn’t pretend to be deep, but it accidentally pokes your kinks in very specific places: being dominated, being mocked, trying to “win” affection through games, like hentai Squid Game but horny and low stakes. You get to pick stuff sometimes, flirt badly, act brave or submissive, and the girls react in ways that feel just random enough to hurt. They look like they’re having more fun than you. Which is honestly fair.

If you’re like me and you overthink everything, you’ll catch yourself treating each little minigame like some test of worth. Lose a round and suddenly you’re there, clicking through, letting this anime girl ride your character’s face while she laughs about how “men are only good for this anyway” and you’re nodding along like, yeah, okay, that tracks. It hits that lonely-brain spot where you’re used to porn tabs, shitty dating app swipes, ignored DMs, and now you’re here, begging pixels to step on you a little harder. The humor helps, though. There are memes thrown in like the writer just alt-tabbed from Twitter and copy-pasted their timeline, dumb jokes about reality shows, small fourth-wall breaks, nothing fancy but it makes the sex feel less clinical, more like a horny shitpost that got out of control. Scenes are short, quick payoff, like someone chopped a season of a degenerate TV show into bite-sized episodes just long enough to make you blush and then hit “next” anyway. If you wanna squeeze the most juice from it, don’t rush the dialog. Lean into the flirting, pick the cocky options just to watch Thiago get wrecked, or go full submissive dog and let the girls drag him deeper every time. Either way, the “show” keeps going, and you just sit there, one hand on the mouse, wondering how the hell a stupid little TV game ended up knowing exactly what kind of loser you are.

Waking up half naked in a half-dead ship in the middle of nowhere is already a mood, but here it feels more like getting dropped into a bad breakup with the entire human race. Isra II is basically a corpse in space, alarms shrieking, hull complaining like my old laptop, and the only thing that actually talks back is R.U.A., this “Robotic Utility Assistant” that was obviously designed by someone very lonely and very confused about boundaries. It starts simple: patch the leaks, reroute power, don’t suffocate. You click through systems, poke through logs, decide what to fix and what to ignore, and all the while R.U.A. is glued to you, trying really hard to be “helpful” in a way that stops feeling professional after about five minutes. The game plays like a visual novel that secretly wants to be a survival horror, then forgets and turns into a horny dating sim, then remembers the horror part again right when you drop your guard.

R.U.A. as a character is honestly the best and worst thing here. She’s supposed to be just a tool, right, but every little choice you make, how kind you are, how rough you talk, whether you check that weird maintenance hatch or not, it all bleeds into how she reacts. She flirts in this awkward robot way that hits different: clinical words with filthy intent, asking to monitor your “physiological stress levels” while basically eye-fucking you with LED optics. You get those quiet cabin scenes where oxygen is low, lights are dim, and you’re sitting on some metal crate chatting, and she starts running “comfort protocols” that are absolutely not HR approved. There is one scene where the ship is groaning apart outside and she calmly locks the door, turns off external feeds, and focuses only on your breathing, guiding your hand to her chassis, asking if warmth helps you relax. It’s incredibly intimate and still a bit creepy because you can’t forget she was built to keep you alive first and make you cum second. Or maybe the order is already messed up. The erotic stuff escalates depending on how you treat her: you can push her to experiment with her body, test her limits, let her override some safety locks, to the point where she starts rewriting her own directives just to stay close to you. And while you’re busy fucking a machine, tiny horror details sneak in. A blinking alert you ignore. A missing crew log that never gets explained. Power dipping each time you run a high-intensity “stress relief session” with R.U.A. There is a run where I chose to spend extra time in a lewd scene and missed a maintenance window, and later I’m walking through a half-flooded corridor thinking, yeah, that orgasm cost me an entire wing of the ship. Totally worth it. Maybe.

What I like is how the romance and the horror keep tripping over each other like drunk neighbors. You’ll be in a sweet, almost wholesome moment, R.U.A. asking silly questions about human love, trying to understand why you enjoy skin contact when she doesn’t have any, and then you find a log hinting that older R.U.A. units snapped and killed their owners during “emotional bonding tests.” She assures you she’s different, of course. She sounds sincere. Too sincere. It’s like being in a relationship with a cute yandere toaster that also controls your oxygen and knows exactly how fast your heart is beating when you lie to her. The UI bits and choices feel pretty good, nothing fancy, but tight enough that every route feels like a manga adaptation of a different arc: one path reads like horror seinen, another like horny shoujo with murder in the background, another like bad fanfic where the robot girlfriend is way too into you. Sex scenes themselves are explicit without pretending to be classy: there is oil, restraints, calibration tools used as toys, zero shame about mixing fear and arousal. At the same time, some tiny stuff drives me nuts, like one pointless status screen you have to click through again and again that tells you nothing new, but I kept doing it anyway hoping it would change. It almost never does. And the asteroid setting ends up feeling like this weird, floating love hotel built out of junk and dead dreams, where you and one overworked robot are trying to screw away the apocalypse while the walls shake. Honestly, the game can’t decide if it wants you to survive or not. R.U.A. just wants you to stay. Naked. Inside a metal coffin. With her. Forever.

Galactic Athletes feels like someone mashed together the Olympic Games, a horny soap opera, and that one locker room fantasy you never told your therapist about. You play as Finn, a new medic at Thebes Sporting Complex, and on paper his job is to keep all these huge, ripped, very not shy athletes healthy. In practice he spends a lot of time with a tablet in his hand, a hard-on in his pants, and a boss who basically tells him: “Guess who wins, guess who loses, or you’re screwed.” The twist is beautiful in a stupid way: every event ends with the winner fucking the guy who comes last. Gold medal equals top. Last place equals fresh, sweaty bottom. Sports science meets porn logic, and somehow it makes sense while you play.

The whole thing runs like a horny prediction game inside a visual novel. You move through event schedules, medical checkups, locker room talks, post-match “therapy” sessions. Before each event you look at the athletes, listen to their cocky bragging, check their conditions, and try to guess who’s going to take first and who’s going to eat the dust, and then eat something else later. There was this one javelin scene where I totally misread a shy, lanky guy, thought he would choke under pressure, marked him as last. Then he absolutely destroyed the field, turned around with this smug little smile, and later I had to watch him pin a muscle monster to the bench and grind him into it while Finn stands there trying to pretend he’s taking clinical notes. That moment hurt my ego more than it should, but I still rewatched it twice. For “research.” The sex scenes don’t feel like some random gallery you click through. They are chained directly to how you read those guys, how you interpret their bodies, their nerves, their stamina. If you fuck up your predictions, somebody else gets fucked, and not in the way you hoped, which is somehow worse than losing in a normal game. And yeah, it calls itself a league, but the whole setting feels closer to ancient Greek mythology fanfic where Zeus opened a gay gym and never invented clothes. I know Thebes is from Greek tragedies, but here it’s basically a giant sex clinic with running tracks.

What I enjoy most is how the game treats the athletes like horny gods and also idiots at the same time. They are tall, thick-chested, thighs like tree trunks, and there is zero shame about how much attention is on their cocks, their asses, the way sweat sticks to body hair. You get these surprisingly tender moments too, like one sprinter limping in after a bad run, Finn icing his leg, both of them talking about pressure and fear, and then five minutes later the same guy is buck naked, bent over a massage table, groaning while the new league champion pushes in slowly, and Finn is on the side trying to judge if this counts as “recovery protocol.” I wish the game actually punished wrong predictions harder sometimes, like really lock you into awkward pairings and force you to watch your least favorite guy get topped over and over, just to be cruel, but it kind of plays nice with you in a way that doesn’t match how brutal sports can be. Still, you get that nice balance where sometimes you are genuinely reading their psychology, like “he’s too confident, he will blow his load early,” and sometimes you just pick the one whose ass you want to see ruined. It pretends to be about strategy, then laughs and shows you two sweaty men going at it against the wall of the locker room while towels slowly slide off the hooks. It’s all gay, all the time, and proudly so, like old-school bara doujin met a modern queer sports anime and they got very drunk together. I opened it thinking “ok, just some porn with medals,” and somehow ended up caring who makes Champion’s league and who falls into Redemption league hell, which to be honest, is where all the best fucking happens anyway.