Castellum Res Venereae, part two or whatever, loads up and immediately I'm thinking about how my phone battery is at 12% and the train's packed. Some guy's elbow is in my ribs. Perfect setting for this. The redhead's back, same pixel-y sprite, and the first room is just... a spike trap. Right there. Not even hidden. I walked into it three times because I was trying to see if the death animation changed. It doesn't, not really, but the scene that plays after is new. One of the 12 new ones they added. Tentacles, obviously. The tag's there for a reason.

Moving with arrow keys feels floaty, like she's sliding on ice. Jumping over a swinging blade while my train lurches between stations adds this unintended difficulty layer. Missed the jump, landed on some glowing rune, and suddenly there's a monster. Not a trap, a monster. The dungeon siege vibe kicks in for half a second before it's just... another scene. The arcade part is barely there, just enough to string the hentai bits together. I spent way too long on a room with three moving platforms and a ceiling that crushes you. The timing is off, or maybe my thumb is just dumb. Kept getting squished. The trap placement feels random, like someone dropped them on the map without testing. But then you clear it and the unlock is this weirdly detailed castle balcony scene that has nothing to do with the dungeon you just suffered through.

The escape goal is simple, reach the door. Half the time I forgot I was escaping and just started triggering traps on purpose to see what's new. The 12 returning scenes from the first part are mixed in, so you'll be like "oh, this one again" and then a new one blindsides you. Some of the monster designs are... a choice. One looked like a glitched texture from a 90s RPG and I couldn't stop laughing. Not the intended reaction, probably. The dungeon layout loops back on itself sometimes, found a secret area by accident when I fell through what I thought was a bottomless pit. No fanfare, just a new scene and then I was back at the start. My stop's next. Still at 8% battery.

There’s a moment in Lucky Patient 2 where the nurse’s tits just keep growing. Not in some subtle, blink and you miss it way. I’m talking about a proper breast expansion sequence that caught me off guard while I was trying to line up the rhythm for a paizuri scene. The game doesn’t even pretend to be polished, the UI feels like it was assembled during a coffee break, but that jank somehow makes the whole thing funnier. You’re this so called lucky patient, which is basically code for guy who gets a threesome with a doctor and a nurse because the plot said so. No real setup, no deep lore. Just two brunettes with massive racks who decide your cock needs immediate attention.

The touch controls are simple, tap and hold stuff mostly. During the titfuck segments you’re supposed to match a pace, but the feedback is so vague I ended up just rubbing the screen like an idiot until the cumshot triggered. And it works? The comic style panels cut between closeups of the blowjob and these exaggerated facial expressions that remind me of old hentai scans someone would upload to a forum in 2006. Not a complaint. The nurse’s eyes go all glazed and her tits inflate past what anatomy allows, which is exactly why I downloaded this. I wish the doctor had more solo scenes though. She gets sidelined halfway through and you’re stuck with the nurse’s paizuri loop for too long. The threesome part feels rushed, like they ran out of panels.

The sound design is whatever, I muted it after thirty seconds and played my own playlist. But the art has this weird charm, lines are thick, colors are flat, and the cumshot is absolutely ridiculous. Like a firehose. If you’ve played adult comics games before, you know the drill. Tap, watch, repeat. This one’s got enough breast expansion to satisfy that specific itch, and the patient fantasy is so dumb it circles back to being hot. Not a masterpiece, but my phone’s screen is filthy now and I’m not even mad about it.

The first time 2B gets pinned against that concrete wall, her legs wrapped around a machine that has no business being that flexible, I actually forgot this was a Derpixon joint for a second. Then the tongue thing happened. You know the one. That android mouth doing work that would make the YoRHa commander issue a formal reprimand, and the sound design here is doing something weird to my headphones like the audio equivalent of when you accidentally max out the bass on a car stereo and the mirrors start vibrating. The robot doesn't even have a face but somehow it's more expressive than half the visual novel protagonists I've sat through.

The extra endings are where this thing gets properly unhinged. Found one completely by accident when I thought I'd seen everything, clicked the wrong spot during the creampie sequence, and suddenly there's a whole different animation path that I'm pretty sure wasn't in the walkthrough I skimmed on some forum at 2AM while questioning my life choices. The cumshot physics deserve their own academic paper. Not realistic, but that's not the point is it. It's like someone looked at Nier Automata's existential dread about consciousness and said "what if we just made them fuck instead" and honestly? Valid artistic interpretation.

The walkthrough link in the description is actually necessary which annoys me because I hate admitting I need help but some of these ending triggers are hidden behind specific timing that I kept missing. Kept getting the same two scenes like an idiot until I caved. The robot's hip movements during the reverse position have no right being that smooth, there's this one frame where 2B's expression shifts and it's doing more storytelling than the entirety of route C. Wish there was a gallery mode to replay specific scenes without the clicking minigame but that's never getting patched. The whole thing runs in browser so at least I don't have to explain any suspicious downloads to my antivirus software that already judges me enough.

They finally did it, the absolute madmen. Yoko Littner, the sniper queen with that impossible red hair, getting absolutely wrecked by monsters. Not some softcore tease either. Straight to the filth. One ugly bastard pries her ass open while the other, packing a cock that would make a horse jealous, just drills into that tight hole. The animation loops are janky as hell, like a flash game from 2006 that somehow escaped Newgrounds. But the sheer audacity? Chef's kiss.

The double penetration mechanic is where it gets truly unhinged. A fat tentacle squirms into her pussy while both monsters are still going at her backdoor. You just click on her sex and boom, a creampie floods her ass. The game calls it "ultimate humiliation" but honestly Yoko's expression cycles between three frames of badly drawn agony and what I think is supposed to be forced pleasure. The breast expansion tag is there but it's barely noticeable, just a slight size bump that resets after each scene. Wish they'd gone harder on that. The whole thing runs in browser and crashed my phone twice.

Gurren Lagann fans will either have a stroke or a very confused boner. Probably both. The art style butchers the original designs in that specific way only hentai parodies can, where Yoko's proportions shift mid-scene like the artist forgot what they were drawing. Sound design is nonexistent, just some wet slapping noises that loop badly. Yet here I am, three sessions deep, wondering what that says about me. The doggystyle angle shows everything, no artistic censorship, just pure degenerate material. Not a game really, more like an interactive animation with one button. But that one button does exactly what you want it to.

What’s even the point of a next button if you’re just gonna smash it anyway, right? This thing is basically a slideshow with a pulse. Green haired furry chick, chained up in some damp looking dungeon, and a wolf who’s way too happy about the whole situation. You don’t do anything except click. Click, click, click. She’s got big tits, he’s got a big cock, the dungeon siege setup is just window dressing for the scenes. The art is rough, like someone sketched it during a boring meeting and then colored it in with a hangover.

The wolf mounts her from behind in the first real scene and the cumshot splatters across her back in a way that’s more messy than hot. I don’t know. Maybe I wanted the dungeon setting to actually matter. There’s chains on the wall and they just... hang there. Useless. A furry BDSM game where the bondage is purely decorative is like a pizza with no cheese. Why bother? The girl’s expression barely changes from panel to panel, just this blank, fucked out stare that’s supposed to be submission but reads more like boredom. I kept clicking hoping for a twist, some kind of power shift, but nah. Just more wolf dick.

One panel had a close up of his knot popping inside her and I thought, okay, here we go, but then the next button just ended the scene. Abrupt. Almost like the artist got tired and went to make a sandwich. The cumshot texture is this flat white blob that looks more like spilled paint than anything else. For a game that’s all about watching, you’d think they’d polish the one thing you’re supposed to stare at. The furry tag does some heavy lifting if you’re into that specific thing, but don’t expect any dungeon siege action beyond a gray background. Just a wolf fucking a green haired girl while you wear out your mouse button.

Right, so this is Strip Soccer. But harder. Two balls. Yeah, that's the whole pitch. You're playing a weird little arcade soccer game against a blonde sportsgirl, and every time you score, she loses a piece of that tight kit. The "harder" version just means there's a second ball bouncing around the pitch like a caffeinated pinball, and honestly, it's more annoying than challenging.

The actual soccer part is janky as hell. Your player slides around like he's on an ice rink covered in butter. The hit detection for the ball is a suggestion, not a rule. I spent a solid minute just kicking air while the ball rolled gently past me. And the AI? She's not exactly a football genius. Sometimes she just stands there, staring at the goal, while the second ball slowly drifts into her net. It's the kind of unpolished mess that makes you laugh out loud, not rage quit.

But you're not here for the gameplay, are you? The model is this typical blonde, fit, ponytail, the whole sportsgirl fantasy. The strip sequences are... fine. They're not animated masterpieces, just a series of stills where she gets progressively more naked. The "erotic" tag is doing some heavy lifting. It's more like a clumsy striptease where she's a bit embarrassed, which has its own charm, I guess. The whole thing feels like a forgotten Flash game from the depths of the internet, and that's almost nostalgic. Almost.

I just wish the second ball wasn't neon green. It's so distracting. Why neon green? It clashes horribly with the grass. I kept losing track of the actual game ball because my eyes were glued to this radioactive orb pinging around. And the crowd noise is a three second loop that will burrow into your skull. You win, she's topless, you lose, you get nothing but that damn looping cheer. The stakes are clear, even if the physics aren't.

My last real date was a disaster where I spilled wine on myself and then pretended it was a fashion choice, so maybe that's why I clicked on a game about a brother who just... doesn't take no for an answer. This thing is a CG gallery, pure and simple, no gameplay to speak of unless you count clicking through images as a skill. The whole setup is this perverted sibling who forces his sister into sex, and at first she's all resistance and tears, but then somewhere along the line she starts moaning like it's the best thing ever. Classic hentai logic, right?

The art is that specific Japanese style where the boobs are so big they'd cause back problems in real life, and the sex scenes are hard, like really hard, with all the positions you'd expect. What got me was the multiple story lines and perspectives, you see it from the brother's side and then the sister's, which sounds deep but it's all in Japanese. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what the text bubbles said before I just gave up and focused on the visuals. There's this one scene where she's on the floor and her expression changes from horror to this weird bliss, and I'm sitting there like, is this a commentary on stockholm syndrome or just fap material? Probably the second one.

I wish the translation was a thing that existed, but it won't be, so you're left guessing if the dialogue is as messed up as the premise. The whole thing runs in browser, no setup, which is nice because I didn't have to clear space on my laptop next to all my failed Tinder screenshots. The gallery format means you just scroll through the scenes, and some of them have these little variations depending on which perspective you pick. I got stuck on one image for way too long because the shading on her, uh, assets was actually pretty good. Then I remembered I was supposed to be reviewing this and not just... anyway. The brother character is such a piece of shit but the game doesn't care, it just throws more explicit content at you until you forget why you felt weird in the first place.

The cutscene direction here feels like someone storyboarded it on a napkin after three beers. Wonder Woman's proportions are... generous, let's say, and the animation loops have that janky Flash-era charm where her tits move about half a second after the rest of her body. Not complaining exactly, it's got personality. The whole drug experimentation angle is just an excuse to get her from "stoic Amazon" to "bent over a table" in under two minutes, which honestly works better than most parodies bother with.

There's a moment where you pick the wrong syringe and she just stares at the camera like she's disappointed in your life choices. I laughed. Then clicked the other one. The anal scene is where the rigging really shows its seams, her spine does this thing that would hospitalize a real person, but again, we're not here for anatomy textbooks. The humor tag is doing heavy lifting, some of the dialogue reads like a 14 year old discovered innuendo for the first time and got way too excited about it.

The surprise ending is... a choice. Without spoiling it, let's just say the devs watched a certain DC movie and thought "what if that, but with more cum." The brunette tag is confusing because she's clearly Wonder Woman, unless they mean her pubes, which do make an appearance. Big cock tag is accurate, that thing has its own gravitational field. Overall it's a solid 15 minute distraction if you're into this specific brand of janky hentai parody. The browser version runs fine, no install bullshit, just click and regret.

Clicking buttons with zero clue what they say, that's the whole game. Japanese text everywhere, I'm just mashing like a monkey at a vending machine hoping for a titty to pop out. And they do. Redhead with massive knockers in a school uniform, pov shots that make you feel like you're the one getting a face full. The choice system is fake as hell, every path leads to the same lewd outcome but who cares when the art is this good.

The pacing is like waiting for a microwave burrito, cold in the middle then suddenly scorching. One minute you're clicking through dialogue boxes, next thing the uniform's gone and she's riding you like a mechanical bull. The jiggle physics on those things, jesus. They bounce like water balloons in an earthquake. There's this one scene where she leans over the desk, skirt hiked up, and the camera just sits there while you click through her moaning. No animation, just static images with text, but the artist knew exactly what they were doing with the shading on those thighs.

Gameplay is nonexistent, it's a visual novel with extra steps and zero translation. But honestly, you don't need to read Japanese to understand what's happening when a busty redhead starts unbuttoning her blouse. The hentai tag is doing heavy lifting here. Some of the choices do branch into different positions, I think, hard to tell when everything's in moon runes. The sound design is just wet noises and high pitched gasps, which is either perfect or annoying depending on how many times you've heard the same audio clip loop.

Would I call it a game? Barely. It's more like a flipbook with extra steps. But the art carries it hard enough that I kept clicking. The uniform stays on in some scenes, which is a nice touch for the fans of the genre. Just wish there was a skip button that actually worked instead of making me click through the same intro every time I wanted to see a different route.