There is this trashy little tropical resort game that feels like somebody mashed a sleazy dating sim with a lazy idle tycoon and then asked, “how far can we push the horny?” and just never stopped. You show up on this sunny island because daddy died and left you a resort, and instead of grief you get a UI and a to-do list that’s basically: hire busty women, pretend to care, squeeze both their labor and their bodies. It’s not subtle. The first time you promise a girl “a real career” while the dialogue clearly nudges her toward stripping down for “special client service”, it feels like a hentai parody of every fake inspirational LinkedIn coach. One moment you’re adjusting room prices and assigning shifts, next moment you’re in a Ren’Py scene where she’s bent over a desk, tits bouncing, you clicking through lines about “team building”. Very professional, yes. Totally HR compliant.

The part that actually got me is how fast your brain switches between numbers brain and degenerate brain. You’re checking profit margins, then a new horny event pops up: that island cutie you put at the front desk is complaining she can’t pay rent, and suddenly the “solution” is you fucking her brains out as “staff housing benefit”. The game pretends it’s comedic, and to be fair, some lines are actually funny in that dark, mean way: jokes about selling “emotional security” while your dick is literally inside her, side comments about your dead father probably doing the same shit before you. Sometimes the humor hits, sometimes it’s like your uncle discovered hentai memes and tried to write them himself. The girls are written like classic eroge archetypes, just with the morality slider ripped off: the shy one that folds under pressure with a wet moan, the ambitious one you bribe with promises of promotion if she swallows, the island girl who “owes the resort” and works off her debt on her knees. Ren’Py makes it all feel familiar: click, fork a choice, watch an H-scene, open another menu to make more money off the same girl you just creampied. It is trash, but that kind of trash where you catch yourself min-maxing your harem and thinking, “ok, but if I make this one my personal assistant, does that unlock more office sex or just better income?” and then you realize you don’t care, because she’s already moaning your name in another event window. Tropical capitalism, but with cum everywhere.

There is something a bit fucked about walking into “your” apartment and your first real conversation is with a ghost that wants to blow you. Not in a fun, fluffy hentai way either. The game sets you up as this unlucky guy from the Devos bloodline, and the place already feels wrong before anything actually happens. Lights flicker, those cheap 3D shadows slide over the walls like they know your name, and then, boom, you look in the bathroom mirror and there’s a pale thing behind you that looks half depressed boy, half succubus. It smiles, and you’re thinking “ok, jumpscare?” but no. It kneels. That whole scene is animated with this weird slow hunger, and it’s honestly more uncomfortable than most horror movies on Netflix. In a good way, if you are into that mix of dread and dick worship.

The story pretends to be about solving a family curse, reading notes on your tablet, digging through old messages and voice memos your father left you, trying to understand who started all this paranormal shit. But the game keeps distracting you with horny ghosts and monster girls that do not respect personal space. You open a locked door with this simple puzzle and a ghost girl with empty eyes rushes up to you, sniffs your neck, then quietly asks if she can “taste living seed again.” That escalates fast into you pinned against the wall, her mouth deep on you, gagging and drooling, then suddenly she shifts on top and you are buried inside her while the UI is still pretending you’re investigating clues. At one point a femboi spirit in tattered underwear crawls out from under the bed, wraps your waist with this thin, shaky body, and just sinks down on you, riding in total silence while distant knocking sounds start in the hallway. Your MC is trying to ask “who cursed the Devos line?” while he is balls deep in a ghost that keeps tightening around him like it wants to drag his soul out through his cock. The game does not fade to black, it shows creampies in full detail, cum spilling from ghost holes that are not even supposed to be physically real. And then, after all that, the apartment goes quiet again, and you’re left scrolling through old diary pages on your phone, dripping, trying to pretend this is still about “mystery” and “romance” and not about how many times the dead can milk you before you finally understand why your whole bloodline is cursed.

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

This one feels like some horny soap opera where the writer got way too invested in the “I’d do anything for love” line and then just kept asking “ok but how far, exactly?” You play this dude who is clearly a simp for the main girl, except the game never calls him that, it just acts like his obsession is pure romance while he is constantly staring at her tits and imagining how her ass would look bouncing on his lap. And everyone around him is somehow hot. Big boobs everywhere, big asses squeezed into tight clothes, and the camera basically behaves like a creep with a zoom fetish. If you like feeling like some invisible perv who always happens to be at the right angle when a towel slips or a skirt rides up, it is exactly that. Half the time nothing “big” is happening, it is just him watching, imagining, jerking off later while replaying it in his head, and the game lets you stay inside that kind of nasty loop.

The kinetic novel format makes it very passive, which cuts both ways. On one side, you can lean back and just let the story push you through all the teasing and then the full-on fucking scenes without worrying about choices. On the other side, if you start feeling weird about consent stuff, you have no way to fix it. And I did feel weird sometimes. There are a lot of moments where these girls clearly do not fully understand that the guy is basically building a harem around himself, and the story frames it as romantic devotion. He “wants to protect them”, but then the camera zooms in on their lips while they sleep and you sit there like, okay man, protector, sure. That part gets under my skin a bit, because the women are written like they’re into it, but the build-up skips over proper boundaries a lot. In a real relationship I would call that manipulative as fuck. Here it is dressed as destiny. And yes, it is hot when one of the girls kneels down, unzips him, and slowly takes him in her mouth after all that build-up, spit shining his cock until you can see the shine on the model, but at the same time my brain is like “wait, did she actually get to choose this or did the story force her because of ‘love’?” That conflict never really goes away. The game acts like consent is automatic once someone is “in love”, and that is some classic adult game bullshit that people pretend is fine because pixels are not real women. Which is technically true, but still, we train our fantasies too, you know?

Sex-wise it is not shy at all. When it finally stops playing coy, you get full pussy shots, thick cum dripping out after he pushes in deep and finishes inside, creampie that oozes down her folds, the guy grabbing a handful of ass while he pounds her from behind. There is always this focus on penetration and filling her up, like he is trying to claim them with his load. The scenes where the MC just loses control and rams into her while her tits bounce in rhythm are the ones where the 3D really pays off, because you can see the skin jiggle, the thighs pressing together, the little details like her toes curling when she comes. You even get those quiet moments where he is alone, jerking off to what he saw earlier, cum splashing on his stomach while he whispers her name, which actually feels kind of honest. I wish they spent that same honesty on how the women negotiate sex with him, but they do not. They just melt. There is one thing that annoyed me and I cannot stop thinking about it: every time a girl is undressing, the camera lingers on the exact same body angle like the dev only had one favorite pose, and it started bugging me for no real reason. Anyway, if your kink leans into voyeur stuff, big bodies, and that whole “I’ll fuck them all because they all need me” power fantasy, it hits hard, but as an ethics nerd, I kept thinking how easy it would be to make the same scenes just as horny while letting the women say a real yes instead of the story handing it to the guy like a reward. Maybe that is not what this game wants to be though.